“I think we all are.”
“Did you talk to Hawke about what happens when you leave?”
Dev shook her head. “Not yet. For the first time, it’s like my head has nothing to do with my decisions, and it’s so nice. Is this what it feels like to be you?”
Bailey laughed. “Probably. I think if I was a little bit more like you, and you were a little bit more like me, we’d rule the world.”
“Damn straight.”
“Get going and see that man of yours. Don’t be afraid to have an honest conversation with him, Dev. It may be hard, but I’m beginning to wonder if hard is sometimes worth it.”
She sighed. “Maybe.”
As Dev headed to Hawke’s, she thought about her sister’s words.
And wondered what was going to happen next.
chapter thirty-six
Olivia
After I said goodbye to Rafe, I put my plan into action.
First, I called Aunt Silvia and told her everything. I asked if I could use her home for the summer and bring Pris, and she was immediately supportive. “Darling, you are always welcome at the cottage! When I pass, it will belong to you. I’ll be happy leaving it to someone who loves the place as much as I do.”
“Thank you, Aunt Silvia, but I don’t want to think of a world without you in it.”
Her booming laughter made me smile. “Others might not have the same high opinion of me, darling. As for your marriage, I’m terribly sorry. But I find life is a long time, and bad things sometimes bring opportunities for second chances. You fell in love with Rafe at nineteen, and I think it was a lifelong connection. It doesn’t happen often, but when we find our true mates, it’s a gift. Be happy, my darling. Pris will thrive in Italy, and I’m sure you can work something out with Adam.”
I prayed she was right, but I hung up feeling more confident.
Then I drove to my mother’s to pick up Pris and finally tell Mom the entire truth. We sat in her kitchen over cups of tea while Pris played, and I began with that first fateful summer. I talked nonstop, and she listened, occasionally interrupting to ask me questions. When I finished, she stood up, went to the refrigerator, and grabbed a bottle of wine. “I think we both may need this right now,” she said, taking out two glasses.
I laughed. Mom rarely drank but always had a bottle of Riesling ready for emergencies. “None for me. I’ve been throwing up on and off. All the emotional nerves, I guess.”
“That’s understandable.” She gave a generous pour and sipped. “I’m trying to decide if I should call Silvia and bitch her out. I can’t believe you both kept this from me, but suddenly it all makes sense. Your crazed need to go with her every summer. God, your father would have had a heart attack if he knew it was about a boy. He never liked Silvia much either.”
I sighed. “I needed to keep it a secret. Especially since I’d planned to move there after graduation—you both would have freaked.”
“I still can’t believe Adam did this to you and the family. At least Pris is little. When your dad and I broke up, you were so lost. I regret I didn’t help you more. I felt as if I was falling apart and all I could do was try and survive, but I left you alone too much. I’m sorry, Olivia.”
Her apology touched me deeply. I reached out and squeezed her hand. “It’s okay, Mom. I can understand things better now. You did the best you could, and it worked out. I love seeing you happy.”
She smiled at me with gratitude. “Do you feel ready to make such a leap? Is this man worth giving up your life here? And what about Adam? He may not agree to this, Liv.”
“I know. We’re meeting for dinner this week to talk. I can’t go back to this marriage and fight fairly when my heart is with Rafe. I have to believe that Pris will be okay.”
“Then you’ll do what needs to be done and Pris will be fine. She has two parents who love and support her. I’ll help you any way I can.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
When I got back home, I had another bout of nausea and wondered if I should see a doctor. I was positive it was stress—and it wasn’t like I had a virus where I was attached to the bathroom. I just felt completely off.
I flipped through my calendar to see when I could fit in a checkup, then paused.
I always wrote down when I got my period, but this month was blank. I mentally counted down, realizing I was more than two weeks late. I’d completely lost count with the Adam situation and going to Italy.
I was never late.
The knowledge rolled over me like a slow wave that turns into a tsunami. I sat staring at the dates on the calendar as my vision blurred.
No. God, please, no.
Trying not to panic, I grabbed Pris and put her in the car seat, then drove to the local pharmacy. I bought two pregnancy tests and a lollipop for Pris, then settled her in front of the television with her treat.
Skin cold and clammy, I ripped open the package with shaky fingers and peed on the stick. Then I closed my eyes, sank to the ground, and waited.
After I glanced at the results, I quickly opened up the second test and redid the entire thing.
The results were the same as the first.
I was pregnant.
chapter thirty-seven
Dev
He was waiting on the front porch.
Lucifer jumped off his perch to rub against her legs. Throaty purrs emitted from his mouth, making her feel special. She scratched his head and murmured back to him.
“He’s gotten attached.”
Dev straightened up and took the chair next to him. He handed her a glass of wine while Lucifer jumped in her lap to get comfortable. “Don’t worry. He’s too cool to show it.”
Hawke laughed, sipping his own drink—a splash of bourbon on the rocks with two ice cubes. He was a wine connoisseur but preferred something richer in the late evenings. Dev liked gathering these tidbits of information to create a fuller picture of who he was. He wasn’t a man to overly share, but he answered all her nosy questions with an easy directness that drew her closer. “You say that now. You won’t be hearing the agonized howl of a cat’s broken heart.”
“I didn’t think a ten-day affair could get so intense,” she deliberately teased. “Maybe he’ll replace me with a sweeter, more tamed companion.”
“Nah, he’d get bored. His name isn’t Lucifer for nothing.”
Her nerves tingled as his gaze met and drilled into hers. “We’re not talking about the cat anymore, are we?”