Both woman burst out laughing. They doubled over, arms around their stomachs with tears in their eyes, laughing. It was bizarre because I was actually serious.
“What?”
Ensley grabbed my hand again. “They aren’t going to kill you. They want to help you.”
“Help me?” I asked, looking between the three women. Blaze and Princess still had smiles, but they were able to stand.
“Yeah. You’re family. We help family,” Blaze replied, stunning me. “Come on.” Blaze looped her arm with mine as we walked through the club. Outside, then through another door.
The gym. The one with the huge ring that Princess was the queen of… Great.
“Please tell me I’m not going in there…” I murmured under my breath, but Blaze heard it.
“No. You’re not.” Blaze pointed to a picnic table in the far corner of the room. “We’re goin’ there.”
At least it wasn’t the ring. Sitting and talking. I could do that. Right?
We sat, Blaze next to me. Ensley across from me and Princess next to her.
Me … nervous? Why would I be that? Micah’s mom—my sister’s mother-in-law—and Princess. I should’ve just stayed in bed with Dry. That sounded so much better than whatever this was. Safer.
Blaze grabbed my right hand. As I went to pull it away because of the shock, she held it tight, not allowing me to go anywhere. My heart thundered in my chest.
“Calm down. I can feel your heart thumping through your hand. If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll let go.”
She was giving me an out, and with that my heart started to slow down. Choice. That was what I had here. It wasn’t like in the crematorium. When would everything in my life stop being compared to that place?
“It’s fine,” I answered, and she squeezed it again in reassurance.
“You know everyone heard,” Blaze started, her voice very mom-like. If that was such a thing. My mother never used it, but Ensley did with Remy when she was talking to her about something serious.
Which meant…
I nodded.
“You are not powerless,” Blaze started, and I pulled my hand away then looked down at the table. Yeah, maybe I couldn’t do this.
Blaze wrapped her arm around my shoulders, and to that I didn’t feel any ill will. Therefore, I didn’t pull away; instead, I leaned into her a bit.
“No,” Princess said, my eyes flashing up to hers. “You’re not. You believe you are, but let me tell you— you’re stronger than a lot of bitches out here.”
“I’m not.” My chest tightened. “I’m weak.”
“You are not.” Ensley jumped in.
Princess didn’t let her say any more, though. She had a mission. And hell hath no fury when it came to this woman. “You survived. The how, why, what—all those questions and regrets you have runnin’ through your head are shit. Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. All bullshit. Why? Because your ass is sitting right here in a place that calls you family.”
I felt the tears well up in my eyes and breathed deeply, trying to turn them off.
“I heard you say shit about deserving…” Personally, I really didn’t remember everything I'd said, but I probably did since that was the way I felt.
Blaze squeezed me. “You are. Did you know I was a stripper?”
I thought back, and Ensley responded, “I think Micah might’ve said somethin’ about that.”
“Did it for years, until my past caught up with me. My stepfather and stepbrother were fucking dickheads. They’d come into my room every night and take turns with me.”
Ensley gasped as my hand flew to my mouth. Yeah, I’d never heard this one.
“Yep. It felt like every night, but probably wasn’t. Does that make me undeserving of Tugs love?”
I didn’t quite make the connection.
“No, but mine has more to do with putting my sister in danger.”
Blaze nodded getting me. “Right, and I put the entire club in danger. There were bomb threats, and the entire club had to come and save me before I was taken away on a plane. I put all of them in danger. Now, does that make me undeserving?”
My mouth fell open, but nothing came out.
Princess spoke, “I had a guard in prison who fucked me on a regular basis. Not that I wanted it. He ended up being undercover here in the club. Had a woman take my kid from me, and the entire club rallied around. I put them all in danger of bein’ killed. So does that mean I can’t be happy?”
Another tear fell from my eye. “I hate that I called Ensley to come. I hurt her.”
“You didn’t do shit,” Princess clipped. “Remember what I told ya about the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve? I had those, but they got me nowhere. They aren’t worth it. You survived. Through it all you came out of that mess. Now stop with this bullshit, and be happy.”
Ensley chuckled. “You sure have a way with words.”
She wasn’t wrong. “It’ll take me some time, but I’m workin’ on it.”
“Good,” Blaze said, rubbing my arm. “You need anything, you call me day or night.”
My heart swelled. I’d never really fit in here when we’d come to Sumner. Ensley did right from the start. Until this moment. In this moment, I felt like part of the family. “Thanks.”
My cell rang in my back pocket. “Sorry,” I said, pulling it out, but it wasn’t my cell. It was the other cell in my front pocket. My eyes shot up to Ensley. “It’s Margaret’s phone.”
“Answer it!” she ordered.
Both Princess and Blazed asked at the same time, “Who’s Margaret?”
I fumbled getting the phone out and flipped it open just before the voicemail would’ve picked up. “Margaret?” I asked instead of a hello.
“Hi.” The voice was so low I could barely hear her. I pushed the volume buttons on the side to hopefully hear better. It was a minor improvement.
“What’s goin’ on?” I prompted and heard Ensley talking quietly with Blaze and Princess.
“I need you to come and get me and Daphne.” Daphne was another younger sister of mine from back home. “We…” Her voice cracked. “We can’t be here anymore.”
“Where do you want me to pick you up?” I rose from the table and began to run to the room to get my keys to my car. I heard footfalls behind me, but didn’t pay attention. I’d always felt guilty for leaving them behind, and Margaret calling to get out was music to my ears. A way to redeem myself.
“We can get to the other side of the crematorium in ten minutes.”
I pulled the phone away to look at the time noting it. “I’ll be there.”
“Hurry,” she said, and the phone disconnected.
I entered the room and grabbed my keys, stuffing the phone back in my front pocket. Turning around, I saw Ensley right on my heels. “We need to go and get Margaret and Daphne. Right now at the crematorium.”
“Wait. Why there?” Ensley asked.
I grabbed my bag and took off out of the room, Ensley right behind me.
“I don’t know, but we have to go.” Ensley grabbed my arm and stopped me.