Ensley smiled. “And then what happened?”
I felt my cheeks blush. “He made love to me. That’s what us being together is, but I try so hard to push him away, and each time it kills me inside.”
“This is fate’s way of telling you to stop pushing. You love him, and he loves you. Fuck everything else and focus on that. Focus on the good. Can you just try that for me?”
I nodded slightly as she pulled me into her body once more. “Love you, Katie.”
“Love you too, Ens.”
19
DRYERSON
Fuck me. Angry? Fuck no. I was livid. Absolutely wanting to punch the hell out of something or someone. I paced the room Katie and I had made love in for the first time like a caged animal ready to strike. I needed something to punch, but I wasn’t leaving Katie. Never again.
“Man. You need to calm your shit,” Micah said, lounging on the bed while I was, in fact, losing my shit.
“You don’t think I know that?” I snapped, running my hands through my hair. I closed my eyes and took in deep breaths. Looking to Micah, I felt that dagger in my chest twisting and turning until it bled. “Five guys, Micah. Did you hear that shit? They took turns. Over and over. I didn’t get to her soon enough. I didn’t protect her from their assault.”
Cry or anger. Anger please. It was emotion I could handle. Crying didn’t solve anything. Anger, though, was a motivator to keep fighting. And I was fighting for Katie. She was mine.
“That’s why she’s gonna need you now more than ever.”
“I don’t know how to fuckin’ fix that shit. And the thing is, she seems more upset about calling Ensley than she does about getting assaulted. Is that shit normal?” I asked him as I sat on the bed next to him, elbows to knees, head in my hands, not having the slightest clue how to help her. My heart flat out shattered for her.
“Normal? What the fuck is normal? I don’t know how chicks think, but you’re right. The assault wasn’t what worked her up. Fuck if I know what to do with that one,” Micah responded. “But she’s talkin’, and that’s more than she’s been doin’ these past few months. She lets this stuff out, it’ll be better for everyone.”
I got up and started pacing again, unable to keep still. The room was a good size, but I needed to walk a lot further if my anger was going to simmer down a few notches. “That’s why she keeps pushing me away every chance she can. She doesn’t think she’s deserving. Undeserving of happiness? Fuck, if anything she deserves it more than anyone because of all the shit she went through. And punishment or penance? I just can’t wrap my head around this shit.”
“I hear ya, brother.”
This was one fucked up situation in the first place. Now with this information and the way Katie felt, it became more fucked up and made my job harder. I’d gotten in the other night. She tried not to let what we shared affect her, but it did. I know it did, because it meant a fuck of a lot to me.
“You gonna stand by her side?” Micah asked me, and I stopped to glare at him.
“You ask stupid shit like that again, and I’ll put my fist in your face. Don’t test me. I have a lot of rage to get out.” If he wanted to volunteer as a punching bag, that was on him.
Micah smirked at me, the crazy fuck.
Hours had passed, and still nothing from the other room. Micah was asleep on the bed, and I’d at least tamed the beast enough to sit in the recliner. The television was on, but hell if I knew what was on it. It could’ve been Ron PoPeel with some kind of special knife everyone had to have.
So badly I wanted to open that door. Just a crack to see how they were, make sure they were alright. Each time I went to the door, I stopped myself. Those two had to work this out, and I had to let them.
Micah’s snores kept me company with the TV. It was a great combination.
A knock came to the front door of the room. The way this space was set up, there were internal doors that connected and then ones that connected to the outside like a real apartment.
Micah groaned as I got up and went to it. Opening the door, Blaze stood there with a smile on her face. Even looking at my expression, she didn’t let that smile go as if she knew we needed just some kind of light and she was here to volunteer it.
She held out her hands that held several plastic bags. “I brought you food and drinks. If there’s somethin’ else you want, you give me a call.”
She tried really hard not to, but she did look in the room, maybe hoping to get a look at the girls.
“They’re next door,” I told her.
“Hey, Mom,” Micah greeted on an exaggerated yawn.
“I can see you’re really concerned.” Blaze struck out like a snake at her boy. Any other time, I’d laugh at that, but this wasn’t a laughing matter.
Micah rubbed his face. “I’m tired. When they need us, they’ll let us know.”
“How do you know they’re okay?” Blaze asked as I took the bags from her and moved to set them on the small table.
“Because I know my woman, and she loves her sister. She’ll do anything to work this out. Trust me.” Micah was so reassured, but his woman loved him. Mine had some warped up views in her head.
“Fine. You need anything, you call me,” she ordered both of us, not prying or asking any more questions. I loved that about her. Micah’s mom seriously kicked ass.
“Yeah, Mom. It’ll be fine. You got Remy?”
Her eyes narrowed as if she were insulted. Something that Micah had better think twice about. When she strikes, she does it hard. “Of course, I do.”
Micah held his hands up like he was trying to surrender. “Gotcha.”
“I hope they’re okay.” She turned and left the room.
Closing the door, Micah was already heading to the bags. Couldn’t blame him; I was starving too. You’d have thought Micah hadn’t eaten in a year as he started gathering things up and taking them to the bed.
I halted him before he got there. “Genius. We need to save some for the girls.”
The door opened. “Did I hear food?” Ensley walked in, but no Katie behind her.
Panic hit. “Where’s Katie?” I asked in a rush.
She nodded next door. “Take it easy on her.”
“Always.”
Forgetting everything but getting to Katie, I walked through the door to see her laying on the bed with her back toward me. Without a second thought, I crawled in behind her. Her body stiffened just a bit before she relaxed, telling me that she knew I was there.
Wrapping my arm around her, I pulled her as close to me as I could get her. Her small frame started shaking like she was crying.
“Wild Kat, I’m here. Not goin’ anywhere. You tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.” I meant that with everything inside me. Whatever I could do, I’d do it.
She shook her head. “I’m jacked in the head, Dry.”
“We’re all jacked up in one way or another. See, I have times when I close my eyes and I see Carter.”
“Who’s that?”
I smiled, really loving that she’d interrupted me. It showed me she was in the room with me.