At times when I forget Vander is a teenager, his youthful arrogance rears its head to remind me. “That is very presumptuous of you.”
His grin is borderline scary. “Stop deflecting, Kendall baby.” He grips my chin tight, angling my head up. “Answer the question. Do you love me?”
“No,” I snap.
His nostrils flare as he leans in close to my face. “Liar.” He brushes his lips across my mouth.
It’s only fleeting. Not a proper kiss. But, my God, I feel it everywhere, and my knees almost buckle underneath me. My heart is careening around my chest, about to force its way out of my body and grow wings.
“Let’s try that again. I want the truth this time.”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, and that is the truth. I know I have strong feelings for him. Feelings I have no business having, but I haven’t labeled them. I don’t know if it’s because I can’t decipher what I feel, my situation with Curtis is messing with my head, or I’m just too chickenshit to admit it.
His fingers loosen their grip on my chin as he stares into my eyes. “I won’t push you, but I’m not backing down this time.” He lets go of me and steps back, taking all the warmth with him. “You know where I am if you need me. I’ll be waiting.” He takes the plate for his mom. “Thanks again for dinner,” he says, walking off without another look at me.
I watch him leave the kitchen with scattered thoughts and a racing heart, both relieved and disappointed.
“We need to talk,” I tell Curtis later that night when Ridge is in bed. My husband went out for a few hours after he returned from his bike ride with our son, and I have no clue where he went. When he came home, he went straight to his home office, and he’s been holed up here ever since. I want to sit down with Stella and West, which is why they are waiting in the living room for us. But first I need to know if it’s happening again. I fold my arms and level my husband with a solemn look. “Are you having another affair?”
He sits back in his chair, arching a brow as he stares at me with indifference. “I wondered how long it’d take you to start accusing me again.”
“Just answer the goddamn question, Curtis.” Acid churns in my gut, and pain pounds in my skull.
“Don’t take that tone with me. I have done everything you asked of me over the past three years, and nothing is ever good enough for Little Miss Perfect.” He leans forward in his chair and glares at me. “This is so typical of you.”
“You’re deflecting.” I rub at the tight pain spreading across my chest. “I guess I have my answer.”
“No,” he barks. “I’m not having another affair.”
“Look me in the eye and tell me,” I demand.
He stares straight into my eyes as he says, “I’m not having an affair.”
I’m not sure I believe him, but I have no proof this time. I guess I’ll just have to accept him at his word. For now. My shoulders slump in relief, and I uncross my arms, letting them hang by my sides. “The kids know about Lydia.”
“What?” He scrubs a hand along his jawline, glaring at me. “You fucking agreed to keep it a secret!” he snaps.
“I didn’t tell them!” I shout. “That stupid conniving slut did!”
“Mom’s right,” West says, storming into the room. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I could cry. I let my son comfort me as he glares at his father. “Mom hasn’t said one word to me or Stella. I know because Lydia’s dating one of Hazel’s cousins.”
“Or she was,” Stella murmurs, entering the room and closing the door. I guess we’re doing this in here. “Hazel told her cousin that his girlfriend hit on West, and he dumped the cunt.” A gleeful expression spreads over her pretty face, and I’m enjoying this too much to call her out on her appalling language. “Good riddance.”
A look of thunder ghosts over Curtis’s face as West steers me to the leather couch in the corner. “Is that the truth, son?” he asks, getting up and walking toward us. West situates me in between him and his sister, keeping his arm around me as Stella moves closer, and I have never loved my kids more than in this moment. Their support gives me the courage to lift my head up high and remember I am not the one at fault here.
Curtis drops into the high-backed leather chair, leaning forward on his elbows, unable to hide the hurt look from his face. Wow. He really is a piece of work. West sneers at his dad while he tightens his arm around me. “Your whore wanted to test-drive the hotter, younger version, but I kicked her skanky low-life ass to the curb. Like you should have done, you pathetic piece of crap!”
7
KENDALL
West jumps to his feet and stalks to his dad, caging him in as his hands land on either side of the chair, and he leans down, putting his face up in Curtis’s. “How could you do this to Mom?” he hisses, a muscle clenching in his jaw. Stella nods at her brother, encouraging him to go on, while she slides her hand into mine. I cling to my daughter, too choked up to speak. Maybe it’s not right to let my kids act like this, but they have an entitlement to their feelings, and I won’t stop them from venting if it’s what they need to do. “How could you disrespect her like this?”
Curtis has the decency to look ashamed, but I have no clue if it’s genuine or not. While he showed remorse in the initial aftermath, I haven’t seen much of it these past couple of years. I’m beginning to realize the man I have been married to for seventeen years is no longer the same man, and I don’t know him. Not like I thought I did.
“Marriages are hard, son, and relationships are complicated. This is something between your mother and I. It shouldn’t concern you or your sister.”
“That’s freaking bullshit,” Stella says, sitting up straighter. “We both knew something was going on. You left, Dad. Mom didn’t have to tell us she kicked you out for us to know it wasn’t normal.”
“And then you came back, and she flinched every time you went near her,” West says, easing away from his father. Reaching out, I take his hand, pulling him back down beside me.
Curtis looks uneasy as he watches the three of us. He can see which side our children are on. The thought warms my heart, but at the same time, I need to intervene. I don’t want their relationship with him damaged because of something he did to me. He is still their father. If we can’t fix this and we split up, they need to have a relationship with him, and I owe it to my kids to do what I can to enable that. “It was hard for me, at first,” I admit, my gaze bouncing between my kids. “The trust was broken, and I was very hurt. But we went to couples counseling and worked hard to move past it.”
I smother my bitter laugh, convincing myself I’m lying with good intentions. Curtis attended two sessions and then refused to come again. I attended the other four alone. Maybe I should have given him an ultimatum or divorced him when he refused to put any real effort into making amends, but I was so messed up and desperately trying to keep my family together, so I let it slide.
West and Stella exchange a look.