“Go ahead,” Alice said. “It’s a big day. You only turn one, once, right Jacob?”
Jacob nodded his head before hiding under Miller’s arm.
We tried to get Jacob to wave goodbye to Alice but he was very happy in his hiding spot.
When we got home, Jacob immediately took his shirt off. Then his shorts. I caught him at the last second so he couldn’t undo his diaper.
“Sweet boy, please keep that on.”
He kept his hands on the waistband.
“Jacob.”
“My birthday.”
I laughed and looked up at Miller. “Were you a nudist when you were little too?”
“Me? I thought he got it from you.”
I sighed. “Yeah. I think maybe he did.”
Jacob unstrapped one side.
I mean…it was his birthday.
He unstrapped the other side and his diaper slid to the floor. He squealed in delight and started shaking his hips. “Dance. Dance!”
He’d quickly picked up on our tradition of dancing when we cooked dinner together. Sometimes he’d sit on the counter and clap as Miller and I danced. Other times he’d want to join in. Maybe he got the nudity thing from me. But he got this from both of us.
I grabbed one of his hands and Miller grabbed the other and we all started dancing. The three of us danced around the room, mimicking Jacob’s stellar dance moves. I wasn’t sure how long we danced, but eventually Jacob stopped. And he scrunched his mouth up.
Oh no. I knew that face. He was about to…
“Bathroom emergency,” Miller said and grabbed Jacob under the arms. He sprinted toward the bathroom and I hoped they made it in time.
I laughed to myself as I picked up Jacob’s discarded clothes. I knew it was dinner time, but Jacob had been so excited for cupcakes all day. I put icing on the rest of the cupcakes and plopped a candle in one. From other bathroom emergencies, I knew Jacob got embarrassed. He was a very private little person. This would cheer him up.
I lit the candle as I heard his little feet running back into the room.
He stopped right in front of me. “Oopsies.” He blinked up at me with his big brown eyes. They were rimmed with red and I knew he’d been crying.
“It’s okay, sweet boy. Oopsies happen.” Although, maybe a little less for children who wore clothes. I leaned down and lifted him up, letting him sit in his preferred place…the middle of the kitchen counter. “Do you know what makes oopsies better? Birthday cupcakes!”
“Cuppycakes!” He tried to reach out and grab the one that was lit.
“We have to sing. And then we can all blow out the candle together, okay?”
His eyes grew round as he stared at the flame, but he nodded.
Miller wrapped his arms around me. He did that half singing, mostly talking thing. But I didn’t think Jacob even noticed.
“Make a wish, champ,” he said.
“Wishies?”
We blew on wishies all the time outside. Jacob loved to watch the pieces of the flower blow around in the wind like snowflakes.
I nodded. “Wish for anything you want.”
Jacob scrunched his face to the side. And then he leaned forward.
I didn’t want him to get too close to the flame. So Miller and I leaned forward at the same time. And we all blew out the candle together.
It wasn’t my birthday. But I’d snuck in a wish anyway. For endless days like this with my boys.
I snuck a glance at Miller. He was smiling down at me. I was pretty sure he’d snuck in a similar wish too.
Chapter 50
4 Months Later - Wednesday - Thanksgiving
“Jacob, if you want to go outside, you have to put on a shirt and your sneakers.”
“No.”
“Sweet boy, you’ll freeze your toesies.” I grabbed his little foot.
“No.”
I laughed. “Yes you will.” I looked over at Miller for his help. But when I saw him, I completely lost my train of thought. He was dressed like he was about to go for a run around the lake. Gym shorts without a shirt. I’m pretty sure my heart skipped a beat every time I saw him with his shirt off. But my eyes narrowed at his bare feet. “Miller, what are you doing?”
“It’s not that cold out yet, kid,” he said and kissed my cheek. “Besides, we’re gonna get overheated.”
“Doing what exactly?”
“Footie!” Jacob yelled and held up a brand new football.
“Football,” Miller corrected and ruffled Jacob’s hair. “Starting new Thanksgiving traditions.”
“Yes. Footie,” Jacob said.
I turned back to Miller. The two of them had become obsessed with watching football every Sunday. And even though Jacob claimed he loved it, there was no way he had any idea what was happening. And he was certainly too young to play. “No.”
“Now you sound like Jacob,” Miller said with a laugh. “Come on. Don’t give me that look. You’re invited too.” He started backing up slowly toward the door.
“Both of you need shoes,” I said.
“Nope. Come on, you don’t want to miss out.”
I looked down at my own bare feet. Yeah, I was a hypocrite. I shook my head but laughed. Miller had me just where he wanted me. “But the turkey will be ready in half an hour,” I said.
“I’m a good cook now. I won’t forget the turkey.”
“You will too forget the turkey.”
But Miller had already reached the door. And I certainly didn’t want to miss out. I ran out after them into the chilly fall air.
The ground was cold, just like I expected. But after we started running around it didn’t feel that cold anymore.
Miller tossed the football at Jacob.
Jacob dodged it. He was not great at catching the football yet. I was happy that he was scared of the ball. I hadn’t had great experience with football players. The thought hit me like a brick.
It was Thanksgiving. And I hadn’t thought about Matt until just now. Thanksgivings were usually the hardest on me, remembering my fight with him. But honestly? I barely remembered our fight. I barely remembered the way his voice sounded. I could barely picture his face. And I couldn’t even remember the last time that he’d interrupted my thoughts.
I watched as Miller pretended to tackle Jacob.
Jacob squealed at the top of his lungs as they rolled into the grass.
It was easy to forget the past when your present made your heart so full. I laughed and ran over to my family.
Miller sat up, pulling Jacob into his lap. “Okay, champ. Do you want to be on my team or Mommy’s?” He tossed me the ball and I caught it.
Jacob pointed at Miller.
“Hey, no teaming up against me,” I said. I tossed the ball back at Miller, who caught it with one hand.
Miller smiled at me and then looked back down at our son. “See those two trees over there?”
Jacob nodded.
“That’s the endzone we’re running to. And between the garden and that tree is the endzone Mommy’s running to.”
Jacob nodded.
“You ready?”
“Yessie.” Jacob climbed off his lap.
Miller handed him the ball and then whispered something in his ear.
Jacob giggled and then started running as fast as he could with the ball.