“Hey!” I called after him. “You didn’t say hike!”
Jacob ran through the trees.
And even though my husband and son were a bunch of cheaters, I cheered at the top of my lungs. “Touchdown!”
Jacob threw the ball on the ground and started to dance.
I smiled over at Miller.
He smiled back and pushed himself off the ground. He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the fake endzone and we all started dancing together.
“Mommy,” Jacob said and handed me the ball.
Miller took a step toward me.
No way were they the only ones scoring touchdowns today. I started sprinting in the opposite direction. Before I was even a quarter of the way to my endzone, Miller grabbed me around the waist.
I thought he was going to tackle me into the grass, but instead he lifted me over his shoulder and sprinted toward the opposite endzone.
“Ah!” My weight shifted, my hands moving to his ass.
I heard him chuckle.
“Miller you’re cheating!” I slapped his butt. “Put me down!”
“Go, Daddy go!” Jacob cheered.
Miller ran past the two trees and started dancing. “Touchdown!”
“That is not a touchdown!” I slapped his butt again, but I couldn’t stop laughing. “Put me down!”
“Safety!” Jacob yelled.
Miller laughed. “Did he just say safety? I can’t believe he knows that. I swear we’re raising a little genius baby.”
“I’m pretty sure he said salad,” I said. But it was kind of hard to tell because I was upside down and a little distracted.
“No, I swear he said safety. I’m telling you…boy genius!” Miller slowly put me down on my feet, but then pulled me into his chest.
“Genius or not, you’re a dirty cheater,” I said. I was smiling so hard it hurt.
Instead of responding, he kissed me. And then dipped me low as if it was all still part of his touchdown celebration dance.
“Ewie,” Jacob said.
I looked over at Jacob. And he was no longer wearing shorts. “Sweet boy, where are your shorts?”
He shrugged his little shoulders.
What was I going to do with him? Last time his shorts disappeared I found them floating in the lake a few days later. I didn’t think he’d had enough time to run over there but…I also rarely ever saw him taking off his clothes. They usually just disappeared. Maybe he was a little boy genius.
He ran over to us. Miller leaned down so Jacob could launch himself into his arms. I took advantage of Miller’s distraction to grab the ball and earn myself a touchdown too.
***
We’d put Jacob to bed and we’d been lying on the couch, my head in Miller’s lap. My stomach was still so full from our Thanksgiving dinner. I was pretty sure neither of us could move. I was definitely in a food coma.
Miller’s fingers ran through my hair.
I looked up at him. Today had been amazing. Perfect, really. But football? I was fine that they watched it together. But I didn’t want my son playing it. “Miller?”
He looked down at me.
“Maybe we can start playing soccer together or something instead of football?” I asked.
He continued running his fingers through my hair. “I thought it might be fun. A new Thanksgiving tradition for the three of us.”
“It was fun. I just…” I swallowed hard. “I don’t want Jacob to play football. Maybe you could teach him soccer? Or baseball?” I honestly couldn’t imagine ever sitting in the stands at a football game ever again. There were too many memories. And I didn’t want to think of any of them.
Miller pulled his eyebrows together.
“Just like…any other sport. I mean, why football?” Miller knew that Matt used to play. He’d been to games with me. He knew all of it.
Miller cleared his throat. “I used to watch football with my dad every Sunday.”
Oh. Miller never talked about his family. It was almost as if they didn’t exist. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He suddenly sounded so sad. He looked away from me, staring at something on the mantle. “And he’d play with me on Thanksgiving every year. At least, until I was a teenager. It’s one of my only good memories of him.”
Oh, Miller. I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I turned to see what he was looking at on the mantle. I was pretty sure he was staring at the picture of my mom and me dancing in our kitchen all those years ago. He’d adopted all my traditions. Every single one. And we’d created so many new ones together. I swallowed hard. The least I could do was accept this one of his. This had nothing to do with Matt. This had nothing to do with my past. This was about Miller and him holding on to one good memory of his father. We didn’t even know if his dad was alive or dead. But this could keep those good memories alive for Miller and our son.
I sat up and straddled him on the couch. “Okay.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Okay?”
I nodded. “Just…don’t let him get any concussions or anything.”
“I would never let anything bad happen to Jacob.”
He didn’t need to say that, I knew it. “It’s weird. We’ve been together for so long, but I can still learn new things about you.” I kissed the tip of his nose.
He slid his hand to my neck so I couldn’t move away. “Want to know something else?”
I nodded.
“You’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now.”
I smiled down at him. “You’re full of crap, Miller. I ate my weight in turkey. I can barely move.”
“You moved on top of me.”
I laughed. “Fair point.”
“You know what would be even more fun than football on Thanksgiving?”
“No.” I couldn’t stop smiling because his smile was infectious. “What would be more fun?”
“Let’s make another baby.”
“Hmm.” I locked my hands behind his back. “Another one, huh?”
“Or five.”
I laughed. I wanted to fill our house with children. I wanted all of it. “You better take me to the bedroom then, Miller.” Because Jacob was as good at escaping from his crib as he was at taking off his clothes. And if he caught us going at it one more time I was worried he’d be permanently scarred.
Chapter 51
1 Year Later - Wednesday - Christmas
I loved Christmas. But this one felt heavy. I watched Jacob open his presents with the biggest smile on his face. Three years ago, I’d surprised Miller by telling him I was pregnant. We’d said our vows outside in the snow. It was perfect. It was so freaking perfect. We’d created this amazing little human who I loved with all my heart. I knew how blessed we were.
But today everything hurt. Yes, I had everything I’d ever wanted. I had a family that loved me as much as I loved them. And yet…I couldn’t stop blinking away the tears in my eyes. I excused myself after the last present was opened and headed outside before I started full-on crying. I didn’t want to ruin today like I’d been ruining all our days recently. I just needed a minute.
It was cold out and there were clouds in the sky threatening snow, but no snow came. It was like the universe somehow knew snow was only for good moods.