“I’m good. And Dom…well, you should call him. He’s not handling you being gone too well. I don’t know what’s up with him, but he’s acting more….emo than normal, even for him. I’m worried.”
“I’ll call,” I said. My heart sunk at his words.
“He needs someone he can lean on, but I highly doubt he’ll let you be the one to do that.”
“Why can’t it be you?” The words snuck out before I could I stop them.
“You know we aren’t on the best of terms, sis,” Peyton laughed lightly.
“Yeah, but neither one of you has told me why.”
“Truthfully, I don’t know anymore. He hasn’t been willing to try to fix it. So whatever.”
We made a little bit more conversation before we said our goodbyes. Next, I dialed Dominic’s number. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until he answered after a few rings.
“Hey there, honey,” he said. His voice instantly calmed my nerves and made my heart race as the same time.
“Hey,” I answered.
“I already miss you,” he sighed. I could hear the fabric moving around on his end, as if he were lying in bed. “If Ace will let me, I’ll find a way to come see you.”
I’d love nothing more—but not yet. I had to get things sorted in my head first. One of which was something that was connected to the man I was talking to right now. He made me feel things that I wasn’t sure were right.
“In a few weeks, if you can,” I said, my voice soft. “How are you doing?”
I knew he hadn’t stayed with Zevon and Sage, and I couldn’t blame him for that. Dominic wanted absolutely nothing to do with Sage. Some of that was due to his own background before Ace had found him.
“I’m hanging in there,” he sighed.
“The truth?”
“I’m dealing,” he huffed. “Be better if you were here. So, have you met anyone yet?”
“My neighbor. She’s a bit strange. I think you’d like her,” I laughed. “She’s good at running into me.”
“Oh? You didn’t get hurt, did you?” Concern clouded his voice.
“No. She’s definitely different though. Seems nice enough.”
“Good. Hey! We could Facetime at some point, y’know?”
“Sure,” I agreed. At least we would be able to see each other.
Talking to Dominic made my heart hurt. I wanted to see him, to touch him. But, if I wanted to find myself, I had to do what I was doing.
“Shit. Ace is calling. I better go,” Dominic said sadly just as Hope, my cat, jumped into my lap, demanding attention.
“I’ll call you later?”
“You better.” His voice was soft as he spoke his last three words before hanging up. His broken words matched my broken heart.
L isa hummed to some song in her head as she mixed the ingredients for a cake in a metal bowl, every so often hitting the side with the spoon. I wasn’t sure why she was baking, since it was just another day. I wouldn’t be getting anything except for another bruise or words yelled at me for my birthday.
Expecting something meant disappointment once again.
“Don’t have that look, Scarlett,” Lisa gently scolded over her shoulder at me.
I was sitting on the counter, watching her work. She’d told me that I was not to lift a finger today while my father was at work. Sure, I was enjoying the day off from doing a bunch of chores, but I knew the little reprieve I was granted was going to disappear with a snap of a pair of fingers sooner rather than later.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, dropping my eyes to my swinging feet. My shoes were filthy, covered in dirt and grime, among other things I didn’t want to think about. My shoulders sagged in something like anxiety. I felt like I carried everything, and in a way I did.
My father hated me, I knew he did. He wasn’t secretive about his feelings, and I had a good inkling that tonight when he got home wouldn’t be good for me. Most nights weren’t.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Lisa asked, turning to face me. The sun shining in from the window made her glow like an angel. She was the closest thing I had to a mother, and I cherished all the moments we got together.
“I hate it here.”
“I know, honey. But there’s nowhere else you can go right now. Your father would be upset if you just left.”
“No he wouldn’t. He hates me.”
“He’s trying,” she said. “When you get older, I have a plan to get you away, but right now you just have to stay here. It’s not that bad. Just a few more years.”
No, she had no idea how bad it was. Hearing the kids talk at school showed me that my father wasn’t like other dads. He didn’t buy me ice cream or take me to borrow a book from the library. He yelled. A lot. And he made me clean the house. I swear, he made messes on purpose for me to clean up.
For years now, Lisa had been coming by to keep the house tidy and in order. She’d pay the bills and cook a few meals while teaching me how to do it alongside her. She treated me like how I’d assume a mother would treat a daughter.
She must have seen I wasn’t willing to listen as she turned back around and finished putting the cake batter into a pan, then put it into the oven. I hopped off the counter and decided I’d get a head start on my homework.
It didn’t take me long to do, and it was pretty easy. To be honest, there wasn’t really a point to even try. I only did enough to pass by in school—a math worksheet and then an English paper for verbs.
By the time I’d finished and got a quick shower in, my father was home. I could smell whatever Lisa had made, too. My stomach growled, hoping I got to eat more than a few bites. My father had been hinting that I was getting fat lately. I was always so hungry at dinner time, and he’d only allow me to eat so much of whatever I made.
“A girl always needs to watch what she eats,” he’d say with a mouthful of food.
With a deep breath to keep my emotions in check, I made my way downstairs. I knew that if my father saw me upset, or showing emotion for that matter, he’d have one heck of time bringing me down even further. I hated it when Lisa tried to stick up for me. It wasn’t her responsibility to deter him.
I was a disappointment to the man that ran this house, and her stepping in only made it worse. Not that I’d ever tell her that.
I made sure to keep my footsteps light as I rounded the corner to the kitchen. Lisa and my father were talking quietly, but they both paused when they saw me. Lisa gave me an encouraging smile, while he only gave me a glare. That look alone told me that my life would suck twice as bad tonight.
Maybe I’d be lucky and a black hole would appear and take me far, far away into some other world. Yeah, right. I highly doubted that.
“I’m staying for dinner tonight,” Lisa said as she added the finishing touches to whatever she was making.
“You know you don’t need to do that,” my father said. “I’m sure Harvey wouldn’t want you to spend all your nights here.”
“He’s with some other woman, so I’d rather be here anyways,” Lisa said, the words filled with hatred. “He can survive on his own for another night if he wants food.”