“Hmmm,” my father said, not having anything to say to that.
Without being told, I began to set the table. It was a tough lesson, but I learned quickly that I should always pay attention to the time and make sure everything was ready before it needed to be. It didn’t always help save me any pain, but it lessened it once in a while.
Thankfully, since Lisa stayed for dinner, my father didn’t comment about how much I ate, and I got to eat an entire plate full.
The past few weeks, Lisa had started to stay one or two nights a month to have dinner with us. I didn’t know why, and I wasn’t going to ask. I sure didn’t mind. I wanted to think that maybe she was trying to make my father fall in love with her, but that just wasn’t possible. My father didn’t do love.
The two adults mostly ignored each other while we all ate. I kept my eyes trained to my plate, fearing what I’d see if I dared to look up. My little heart pounded in heavy beats and my nerves were boiling under my skin.
Shortly after dinner, and after everything was cleaned up to the perfect standards my father expected of me these days, Lisa left with a tight hug from me. I held on longer than normal.
“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” she whispered in my ear. “I’ll see you tomorrow to take you to school.” With that, she left, leaving me alone with the man I feared the most in the entire world.
He waited until the sound of Lisa’s car was gone, leaving the house quiet. So quiet, the air felt heavy with what was to come. My heartbeat was loud in my ears as my father turned to face me. His brown eyes were filled with so much hatred. He stalked towards me, showing off his white teeth between his thin lips. My back hit the wall as he caged me in. I was a predator’s dinner, and there was no escape.
“My sweet child,” my father said. The words filled with so much acid, my stomach dropped to my feet. “It’s such a special day for you. It’s not every day that a girl turns thirteen. And I have something extremely special just for you.” One long finger swiped down my arm, causing goosebumps.
“I…I don’t want it.” My voice caught in my throat.
“Oh, but I do,” he smiled, showing his teeth. “My room.” My feet were glued to the floor. There was no possible way my legs could move, even if the house was on fire.
“Now!” I jerked from his harsh tone as he stepped back from me, putting a foot of space between us.
With a gulp, I quickly dashed up the stairs. My legs felt like jelly, my chest aching with each breath I took. My head throbbed in time with my beating heart.
What was he going to do? What did he want? God, I hoped it wasn’t the belt again. I would forever have the scars across my back from the first time he’d used that thing on me.
My father was quick to follow me. The thumps of his work boots hit the floor with each stride. Tempted to hide, I dashed into my room, my eyes wild. Would I be able to stay hidden from the man who was my father?
Oh god.
“Scarlett,” he hissed, quickly grabbing my arm at my elbow. He could snap the joint out of place with a snap of his fingers.
“Please.” The plea was weak to my own ears.
He said nothing, only dragging me to my bed and throwing me down on my back. I quickly scrambled across it, my heart in my throat. My heart was beating twice as fast as normal. It was like I had just ran around the block as fast as I could.
Before I could get off the bed on the other side, he took my ankle and pulled me back towards him. I tried to hold onto the quilt that lay atop the bed, a scream bubbling forth, but it did nothing to help stop me—or him, for that matter.
“You should know by now that running only makes it worse,” he breathed when he got me where he wanted. “Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The choice is yours, girl.”
“Please.”
“I’m not in the mood to play this game tonight, Scarlett,” he hissed. “Get undressed, or I’ll do it myself.”
“No,” I said, kicking with my legs, hoping that I’d make some sort of impact with the man. Before I saw it coming, my father backhanded me. The forced caused my head to turn and a sting left in its wake along my jawline.
“You have to the count of three,” he said, his voice dropping an octave. “One.” He held up his finger. “Two.” Another finger.
Rushing, I quickly did as he said. I knew whatever he had in store for me would be ten times worse if I didn’t cooperate. With tear filled eyes, I slipped off my tank top and shorts, letting them fall to a pile on the floor. My hair tickled my back and I sniffed back tears.
I refused to lift my eyes to his, and my father hummed in the back of his throat. I knew what that sound meant. He wasn’t impressed; he never was when it came to me. I trembled, sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting.
“Has dear old Lisa told you why your body is starting to change?” he asked, taking a small step back.
I let out a small breath with a shake of my head. She had somewhat, but not much. I learned most of what was going on from school. Health class had been mandatory this year, and I knew what to expect with my own body and its changes. What I didn’t expect was what my father was going to do. I didn’t want to be a part of it, either.
“You are finally old enough to take this next step. That means it’s a special day today. You will officially become a woman. You will only be mine, and no one else can ever have you this way. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“No.” Was my one word an answer to his question or a plea? I wasn’t sure.
“It means I’m going to take you the only way someone like me can. I’m going to have my way with you as I see fit from now on. I’ve been a very lonely man, and now that you’re of age, I can do what I want.”
“I’ll tell Lisa,” I threatened.
“Then I’ll make her watch the next time I take you,” he said. “I bet she’d love that.”
“She wouldn’t let you do that!”
“Do you want to test me? Because I can tell you right now that won’t ever fly.”
I shook my head quickly.
“Good. Now, lie back and let me take what I want.”
“No,” I said, my voice stronger than I expected.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, as if I were trying his patience. I’d seen the teachers at school do that a lot when the boys would get rowdy. But I knew this was different. This time, my heart was racing so fast, I feared it was going to explode inside me.
When I didn’t move, he shoved me backwards. I had no time to catch myself and my head bounced off the mattress. Before I could protest again, my father pulled his pants down and began to play with his penis. I didn’t want to, but my eyes were glued to his hand and that ugly thing. His other hand pulled out a foil packet and set it on the bed beside me.
“Now, this will be the best day ever,” he said as his penis grew. I gulped. I didn’t want to think of what he was going to do with that thing. “For you? Probably not. You’ll get used to it though. It’s only a matter of practicing. And we are going to practice a lot.”
“Please, no, Dad.”
“Shut up, or I’ll make you.” His words sent a shiver of fear down my spine.
I let my eyes close, hoping that maybe I could pretend I was somewhere else. Maybe I was in a castle with the warm sun shining above me as a prince came to my rescue. The prince would swoop in and make everything bad disappear once and for all.