“Well, I don’t want a lot of jiggle-jiggle.”
“Why ever not?” he said, laughing.
“Oh, Sam, stop teasing her,” my mom said, smiling. “So, I think Shelby has a boyfriend,” she said conspiratorially.
Sam suddenly sat upright. “Oh, really?” He glanced at me. “I didn’t know that.”
“Well, why would you?” I said, smiling at him sweetly. “We haven’t seen each other in ages.”
“Well, yes, but your dad didn’t say anything to me.”
“I didn’t know myself,” my dad said, looking a little taken aback. “What’s his name? Don’t tell me he’s going to be coming to the next family dinner?” he asked with a sigh. “That means I’m going to have to put on proper clothes and get out my gun and warn him off…”
“Oh, very funny, Dad. We both know that you’re not going to shoot anyone that I date.”
“Well, I have to warn them,” he said.
“Well, there is this one guy…” I said softly, looking at my mom and then my dad.
“Yes? And what about him?”
“But he’s a little bit older. How would you feel about me dating an older guy?”
“Older as in grad school?” Mom said, frowning. “I mean, I would prefer you to be with a college guy right now because I don’t think you’re mature enough to—”
“No, I don’t think he’s in grad school,” I said.
“Oh, so he’s a senior?”
“He’s not a senior, no.”
“Then what is he doing? Is he in med school? Law school? I mean, med school could be good.” Mom looked hopeful. “I would love it if you married a doctor.”
“He’s not in school, Mom. He’s older than that.”
“Older than that?” she screeched. “Now, now. Honey, speak to your daughter. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be dating older gentlemen. What is he? Like twenty-five?”
I burst out laughing. Sam was focused on his beer, trying not to pay too much attention to the conversation. “He’s a little bit older than twenty-five.”
“I hope you’re joking, Shelby.” Mom frowned at me. “You’re too young to be dating some old man. You know, they only want one thing from you.”
“And what’s that, Mom? A little jiggle-jiggle?” I winked at her, and she gasped.
“I do not know where you get this from, Shelby. This is not an appropriate conversation. I just don’t know what to say.”
“Sorry, Mom,” I said. “I’m joking anyway. Why would I ever date a crusty older man? I’m going to a party after this actually, so I can’t stay too late.”
“What sort of party?” she asked.
“Some frat guys at my school. We’re just going to hang out.”
“Okay,” she said with a small smile. “That sounds better.”
“You’re going to a frat party?” Sam looked up from his beer and frowned.
“Yeah. It should be fun. Lots of hot guys who want to get in my pants.” I giggled.
Mom gasped. “Really, Shelby? That is no way to—”
“I’m just joking, Mom. I’m joking.” I held my hands up and took a swig of my beer. “You know I’m a good girl. I would never do anything with any of these guys. I’m focused on my studies and then I’m going to grad school. You know that.”
“Yes, dear,” she said. “I guess so. Because you know that’s all your father and I want for you. Get a good education, and then you can worry about boys.”
“Yes, Mom,” I said sweetly.
Chapter Seventeen
“So, Shelby, how’s school going?” Dad asked me as my mom served the pot roast.
“It’s going fine. Thanks, Dad. How’s work?”
“Can’t complain. Pays your tuition.”
“I know, Dad. Thank you.” I smiled, rolling my eyes.
“What? If I didn’t have a well-paying job, I wouldn’t be able to pay for your—”
“College education.” I finished the sentence for him and we all laughed. I saw Sam staring at me with a curious expression, and I smiled at him.
“Did you have something you wanted to ask me, Sam?”
“I was just curious,” he said. “What your plans are after college?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” I sat back in my chair. “I was thinking I’d get married, have a couple of kids, live the housewife life, you know?” Sam choked a little on his beer and coughed.
My dad looked at me and shook his head. “Now, now, Shelby. Don’t tease Sam like that.”
“What? I’m not teasing. It’s true. It worked well for you, didn’t it, Mom?”
“Really, Shelby?” she huffed. “That’s not how we discuss these things.”
“What? I mean, don’t you want me to find a nice young man and get married?”
“You could do whatever you want, Shelby. I was just thinking that it might be nice for you to have a partner in life.”
“A partner who will take care of me?” I looked at Sam. “So, Sam, what about you? Planning on getting married any time soon?”
“I think not.” He shook his head.
“Oh, well, isn’t that a shame?” I said. “There’s not anyone you’re boning who—”
“Shelby!” Mom yelled. “That is enough!”
“Sorry,” I said. “There’s not anyone you’re… porking, then?”
“Shelby!” My dad was trying to look stern but I could tell he was hiding a smile. “That’s not the sort of conversation that you have with Sam.”
“What? I’m just curious. I know you guys want to know if he’s seeing anyone. Mom was just asking me the other day because she wants you guys to go on that double-date trip.”
“Shelby, that was between the two of us. I just… Well, Sam,” she turned to him, “we do want you to find someone lovely that we can go on double dates with and have fun.”
“I mean, there’s someone I’ve been seeing,” Sam said.
I frowned as I glanced at him.
“Oh, do tell?” My dad said.
“But she’s a little bit younger,” Sam shrugged. “And very immature. I don’t think you’d like hanging out with her.”
My frown turned into a glare.
“Well, you never know,” My dad said. “I’d love to meet her.”
“I’m not sure,” Sam said as he tilted his head to the side. “We had a couple of hot times, but I’m not really sure that I’m feeling it that much.”
“Oh, really?” I said loudly. So loudly that my mom looked at me with narrow eyes. I lowered my voice slightly. “And why don’t you want to see this lady again? Do you think she’s out of your league and you’re scared that—”
“Oh, she’s definitely not out of my league,” He chuckled. “I think I was probably the best she’s ever had.”