Baz clears his throat, drawing my attention to him. A crease forms between his brows, as he looks back and forth between us. Ava doesn’t stand still for long. She walks straight toward the floor-to-ceiling window, looking at the incredible view we don’t have back home.
“What?” I ask.
He shakes his head, wiping the look off. Tucking his hands into his pockets, he shrugs noncommittally. “I haven’t seen you two together, and I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to look so similar. Both with blond hair now, you really do look like you could be her mother.”
My gaze trails back to Ava. I’ve thought the same thing a few times, while looking back at pictures of us, but I just thought it was the hair and the fact that she was calling me Mom that led me to think that way. I just sort of brushed it under the rug, but knowing others will think I’m her real mother makes me feel better. Maybe growing up with an adoptive mother won’t be so hard. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but I do want her to fit in.
When I glance back at Baz, my heart skips a beat when I realize he’s been watching me this whole time. My cheeks turn a bright shade of pink, and I clear my throat, glancing away as I gather my thoughts. I can feel his stare burning through me, as though he’s taking note of everything going on inside me.
I risk a glance back at him and find him still looking at me, but this time, he’s wearing a little smirk on his face. It makes me blush even harder.
“What’s that whole face for?” I circle my finger in the general direction of his face, and his smirk widens.
“You seem happy. You both do.”
My heart gallops. I look down at my feet, warring with myself, wondering if I should say what I want to. Inhaling a deep breath, I peek at him through my lashes and decide to hell with it.
“I am happy, and I have you to thank for that, but there’s something miss—”
“Wow!” We hear Ava yell from the window, looking out at his infinity pool. “It’s so big.”
She all but presses her face against the glass. I take her cutting me off as a sign that the words are never supposed to leave my lips. Baz pauses, looking like he wants to ask me to finish what I was saying, but then he sighs to himself, obviously thinking better of it, and heads toward Ava. He opens the door, walking out with her. I follow them, my heart twinging with each step, just being this close to him again.
I watch from a distance as he listens to Ava prattle on and on. He asks her questions while he shows her around the top floor of the penthouse. My heart does something strange as I watch him with her. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest, crushing me, but there’s this light, fluttering sensation in my belly. I press my hand to my stomach, trying to quell the sudden wave of emotions slamming into me. I tune into the conversation they’re having, a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth.
“Do you know how to swim yet?”
Ava shakes her head. “Not yet.”
Baz mock gasps. “That’s insanity. You mean to tell me you have an amazing pool in your backyard, and she hasn’t shown you what to do with it yet?”
We both laugh like little schoolgirls with a crush. Ava shakes her head. “Will you teach me?”
“I will. Whenever you want, just say the word, and I’ll be there. Also, let’s keep this between us, but it’s probably better you learn how to swim from me anyway. I heard your mom isn’t the greatest swimmer.”
“Hey!” I yell out lightheartedly, playing the part. Ava laughs, obviously enjoying the ribbing session she’s having with Baz. I try not to focus too much on the fact that he’s promising to teach her to swim. It’s insane how she can be nine years old and still not know how to swim. There are so many things that’ll be firsts for her that we’ll need to catch up on. I just hope he won’t let her down on this. I’ll obviously need to have a talk with him about promising stuff to her he doesn’t intend on following through with, but I’ll save that for a later time.
For a while longer, I stand off to the side, watching how easy it is for Baz and Ava to interact with one another. I thought she’d be a little hesitant around him, seeing as he’s not really a part of my life anymore, but she seems all too happy to spend time with him, and Baz, he’s just as good as he was with her at the gala. He listens intently to her every word, his focus solely on her.
It warms my heart.
Ava busies herself with some pen and paper, courtesy of Baz, and draws another masterpiece while he and I finish up the paperwork we came here for.
“You didn’t have to buy that shitty car,” he says, handing a thin file of paperwork over to me.
I shoot him a scowl. “Yes, I did. I feel like you’ve done everything for me. I wanted to do one thing myself, but…I get why you did it. And I’m thankful.”
Our eyes lock, that lingering tension zapping between us, the current suffocating us both. He clears his throat. “Anytime.”
When it’s time to leave, I want to hang back and ask Baz to come over for dinner, but I don’t know if that’s crossing the line. Today was just about signing papers. It might be a bit premature of me to invite him over. We hover near the door. The easygoing nature we had earlier is now gone and in its place is tension-filled air.
“It was good seeing you. And thank you.”
Baz nods, his gaze darting between the two of us. “See you later, Ava. And don’t forget about those lessons, okay?”
She smiles. “See you later, Sebastian.”
Our gazes linger on one another for a beat and so much passes between us. It all becomes too much, so I take Ava’s hand, and I turn, refusing to look back at him. I know if I do, I’ll never be able to leave. I’ll fall back into old habits, and I can’t let that happen.
That swimming lesson Baz promised Ava happens a lot sooner than I’m prepared for. I sit on one of the loungers on his balcony and watch as he tries to teach Ava how to swim. For the first thirty minutes, I sit on the edge of my seat, a nervous wreck. It isn’t that I don’t trust Baz. It is just that I don’t want anything to happen to Ava. But much to my surprise, he’s been patient and extremely gentle, guiding her on how to pump and kick to stay afloat.
My laptop is warm on my lap, as my gaze drifts from Baz to Ava, when I’m supposed to be working. Blowing out a frustrated breath, I force myself to dig deep and let the words flow, but as much as I try, they don’t come. I worry that signing that publishing agreement was premature. Don’t people usually do this when they already have a body of work written? I have nothing but my article. This…this is on a whole other level.
“Can you swim with us?” I jolt at the sound of Ava’s little voice. She’s standing next to me, wearing a pleading look in her eyes. I glance down at my clothes and the pool. I didn’t bring a swimsuit or a change of clothes, figuring I’d spend the day watching Ava swim and working.
“I don’t know. I don’t have any extra clothes.”
“Oh, come on!” She points at the water. “It’s so warm.”
I glance at Baz just as he slips under the water. He raises effortlessly a few seconds later, water rolling from his tan skin, and when he rakes a hand through his soaked hair, slicking it back, my core clenches at the way the muscles in his arms bunch and cord.