“How many people did they find?” Mom asked.
“It was a group traveling up from the south. Mostly men. A few women. One kid. I think Matt said something like thirty-four of them. I caught a glimpse of one guy.” He shook his head. “He looked half-starved. We doubled the amount of supplies that we had planned to give. They need it.”
Hearing that almost made me feel guilty about the burger I was eating. Almost. I hadn’t been lying about my assessment of my scrawny self to Thallirin. I took another bite, eating with appreciation.
When we finished the meal, I helped Mom clean up while the guys went outside for target practice. I liked that they gave us some time to speak privately, even if it was over dishes.
“What’s he like?” she asked.
“He’s hard to read, but sweet. He doesn’t push. In fact, I think I’m the one pushing now, and it feels weird. He’s making a big deal about me being under eighteen. I woke up with my shirt twisted, and he freaked out that he saw my boobs.” I handed her a plate to dry. “I don’t know what to do. With two close calls, I don’t want to wait for summer when he’ll know for sure I’m eighteen. Waiting seems stupid to me.”
“Do you want me to talk to him?” Mom asked.
“I’m not sure that would help. I’m sure he and I will work it out, eventually.”
“Don’t go back out there until you know you’re safe.”
I shook my head at her.
“I’d never leave, then, because even if I can’t get infected, I’m smart enough to know I’m never truly safe outside these walls. The breach proved we’re not really safe inside, either. If I let fear hold me back, I’m already dead.”
She sighed.
“You’re right. Just be as safe as you can be.”
“I will.” I finished the last dish and handed it to her. “I’m going to go pack my things.”
“I’m going to miss you,” she said, sounding close to tears.
“No, you won’t. I’m going to come home for dinner every night, and Uan’s going to keep you busy when I’m gone.”
She smiled and glanced out the door at him.
“I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way again.”
I followed her gaze and found Thallirin watching me through the patio doors. Butterflies took flight in my stomach, and I smiled at him before his gaze returned to Uan.
Leaving Mom, I went to my room and started packing, wondering how Thallirin would react to the news that I was moving in with him.
Chapter Fourteen
With the bag that Thallirin had already collected for me, there hadn’t been much left to pack. The bag in my arms held the last of my clothes. Thallirin hadn’t commented on its presence when I’d told him I was ready to go, and I wondered if he understood what it meant. If he didn’t, he soon would.
Once we were in the house, he let me move around on my own. Well, not on my own. He followed me as I grabbed the first bag, then he stood in the doorway while I placed my clothes next to his in the dresser.
He stayed where he was as I stripped out of my pants and changed into one of his oversized shirts. I spared him a full exposure by taking my bra off once I was covered. When I finished changing, I tucked the bags in the closet and looked at him.
“All moved in,” I said.
He didn’t say anything. Just continued to study me.
“Is that your happy face or your how-do-I-get-rid-of-her-now face?”
“Happy,” he said. “Very happy.”
“Good. Want to watch a movie?”
I took his grunt as a yes and went to the living room to select a movie. That he chose to sit in the same spot on the couch as before wasn’t lost on me. I sat on his lap, and leaned my head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. As much as I tried to watch what was happening on the screen, I couldn’t stop thinking about our previous kisses.
I shifted in his lap, looping an arm around his shoulders to press closer. Something moved underneath me. I turned my head toward his neck to hide my smile and brushed my lips against his skin.
This time he shifted, reseating me so I wasn’t right on top of the enormous bulge he was sporting. I took one of his hands and brought it to my cheek. His palm covered all of it. I marveled at how large he was while still being so gentle with me.
He shifted under me as I kissed his palm then made a pained sound when I licked it. Grinning, I looked up at him then lightly bit the tip of one finger.
“Brenna.”
The word was full of warning, but I wasn’t worried. With me, Thallirin was careful. Always so careful.
Before he could guess my intention, I drew his hand down to my breast. He grunted when his palm covered me over my shirt.
“Too small?” I asked.
His fingers twitched, feeling me before he jerked his hand away.
Before he could ditch me like last time, I changed positions and straddled his lap. The moment my hips settled over his, he froze.
“If you tell me to get up, I will. But I’m doing this because I really don’t want you to run away again. You make my heart thunder in my chest, too, Thallirin. Kissing you is dangerous. But in a good way. It’s making me better. Less afraid of what you want someday. Can I stay like this?”
He was quiet for a long time, and I knew he was fighting with what he should say versus what he wanted to say. I leaned forward and lightly kissed the corner of his mouth. He trembled under me even though I was careful to avoid full hip to hip contact. This eighteen rule was killing him, and it needed to stop.
“Tomorrow, we should go say hi to Drav and Mya,” I said, feathering my fingers over his cheek.
He made a sound. I thought it was supposed to be his usually non-committal grunt, but it didn’t come out that way. It sounded more tortured. Poor guy.
I kissed the other corner of his mouth.
“We could get some supplies from the supply shed afterward. If you want.”
I brushed my lips over his, and his shaking intensified.
“And maybe go trade at Tenacity to help out over there,” I said, my lips hovering over his.
He still didn’t move, and the beat of his heart under my palm began to worry me.
“Do you want me to stop?” I asked.
He didn’t answer, and I started to get up. His hands gripped my hips, anchoring me in place just over him, not quite touching where he likely ached most. I really wanted to be the one to soothe him.
I kissed him gently, little reassuring brushes of my lips over his mouth, his cheeks, his jaw. I worked lower to his neck, kissing scars and the few patches of unmarked skin that he had. Since he was letting me explore, I found the edge of his shirt and pushed the material upward, smoothing my palms over his honed muscles.
“I didn’t think I’d like touching you this much,” I whispered. “If you think my softness is mesmerizing, I’m just as taken with your hardness.” My fingers glided over his pectorals as I spoke.
A shudder ran through him, and I lifted my head.
“Want to get rid of your shirt?”
His glazed eyes shifted from my lips to the shirt of his that I currently wore.
I smiled.
“I didn’t mean mine, but I’m willing if you’re interested.”