“No.”
The word was a dry rasp. Pained and full of need. It made my heart hammer harder and my own need stronger. Carefully, I lowered myself, letting my hips rest on his. He hissed out a breath as my weight settled on his hard length. His fingers twitched on my hips but nothing more.
I wished he’d do something.
“Tell me to stop,” I whispered as I moved slightly, pressing my core against him ever so slightly.
Other than a very loud exhale, he remained silent. Not me.
My mouth had dropped open at the intense ache the friction had created. I was pretty sure I’d made a noise. A squeak? A mewl? I slid my hips forward again, rubbing against the erection that strained against the confinement of his pants. It was definitely a mewl that erupted from me.
I rotated my hips, riding him through the material, and closed my eyes against the pleasure.
Finally, he moved.
One moment, I was on top; the next, I was on the couch, lying underneath him. His lips claimed mine in a kiss so hungry and full of need that I forgot to breathe. I wrapped my arms around his neck, sliding my hands into his hair, and held on for dear life. I tried to press up against him, but he was too far away. Even in this moment, he still managed to hold himself back.
I tore my lips from him, panting, and looked up at him.
He was breathing just as hard and placed his forehead against mine.
“You are my air, my will, my life.”
Then he was gone. The sound of the door closing told me he’d left the house. I blinked at the TV screen, and the reality of just how completely and desperately Thallirin wanted me hit.
A shiver ran through me at the thought of what he would be like once that rule was no longer an issue.
I was so comfortable and warm that I didn’t want to move. But, I did. Sliding my leg over Thallirin’s hips, I snuggled closer. I wasn’t sure what time it was or when he’d finally come home, but I was glad he’d decided to sleep next to me rather than continue to avoid me. Doubly glad that he only wore his athletic shorts.
I rubbed my face against his chest, inhaling the smell of him, and felt his fingers playing with my hair.
“This is a nice way to wake up,” I said.
A sound of agreement rumbled through his chest.
“Where’d you go last night?”
“To find hellhounds with Merdon.”
I jerked my head up to see if he was serious. His unblinking gaze met mine.
“Why would you do that?”
“There is much in this world that wants to take you from me. I will not force my will on you and ask you to stay here, to not risk yourself on supply runs anymore. To give you your freedom to choose, I will remove the things that seek to hurt you.”
My heart squeezed in joy and in fear. He wanted to protect me so badly he would willingly risk himself in the name of an impossible goal.
“Thallirin, you can’t kill every infected and hellhound out there.”
“Not in one night. In time, my brothers and I will make this world safe again.”
“At the risk of your own safety?”
“My life has little value compared to yours.”
“It has value to me.” I brushed my hand over the expanse of his chest then pressed a kiss to his skin. “I like sleeping next to you,” I said.
“I like it, too.”
I kissed him again, close to his nipple, and watched the scarred skin pucker. My fingers trailed around it and dipped lower, tracing over his abs and teasing the bare skin just below his navel. He didn’t try to stop me, but I could hear his heart hammering under my ear.
“Can we have sex now?” I asked, not looking at him.
“No, Brenna. You are not eighteen.”
I grinned against his skin.
“Do you like that I keep teasing you with kisses, anyway?”
“Yes,” he said after a long moment of silence.
“Will you tell me if I push too far?”
“You will never push too far,” he said.
My grin widened, and I sat up.
“Good. Because I can shower today and need your help wrapping my leg.”
He got out of bed and followed me to the kitchen. My skin began to tingle in anticipation. While he’d been gone, I’d given this plan a lot of thought. Now that I knew it was only my age holding him back, I didn’t feel quite as guilty over what I was about to do to him.
Teasing him was exhilarating. Kissing him, even more so. Last night, I’d imagined what it would be like to finally give him what he wanted, and I’d discovered it wasn’t just about what he wanted.
In the kitchen, I pulled out the plastic wrap and medical tape I’d prepared ahead of time.
“I just need your help wrapping this around my leg and taping the edges. You might want to kneel. I’ll put my foot on the chair.”
He did as I suggested, completely unaware of what I would expose when I lifted my foot to the seat of the chair. My shirt slid back and revealed the fact that I wasn’t wearing any underwear.
Finally, I got to see his anguished expression.
“The plastic can be tricky,” I said as he stared.
He licked his lips, and his nostrils flared. Ever so slightly, he leaned in.
My pulse started to race, and I decided anticipation might end up getting me before an infected did because Thallirin didn’t close the distance. He just continued to stare like he’d die if he blinked or looked away.
This was the one thing all fey wanted. I couldn’t even count the number of times I’d heard them talk about “seeing pussy” in hushed tones. There was no doubt he was liking the view. But either he had a will of steel or I’d broken him.
I took the plastic wrap from him and started unrolling it. After a moment, he woodenly helped. His attention kept shifting between what he was trying to do and what I’d exposed by lifting my leg.
He managed to cover the stitches and tape the edges with his shaking hands then, finally, looked up at me with such need that I tingled with my own.
“I’m not sure I’ll be steady without help,” I said breathlessly. It wasn’t a lie. I was lightheaded from the fast breathing and the need for him to touch me.
“I think you’ll need to take me to the shower.”
He scooped me up and carried me to the bathroom. He didn’t look away as I removed the shirt I wore then started the water warming.
I reached in to test the water, then stepped into the glass enclosure. Hands trembling, I grabbed the shampoo and looked out at Thallirin.
“Would you mind coming in here just in case I start to slip? I would feel safer.”
He hesitated then reached for the door.
“Do you want to take off your shorts so they don’t get wet?”
“No.”
“Okay.”
I handed him the bottle of shampoo then wet my hair. When I looked at him again, he was watching the water run down my torso. I held out my hand.
“Shampoo, please.”
He passed the bottle back to me and watched as I soaped my hair and rinsed.
“I’m not sure I got it all,” I said. “Will you help me?”
He moved closer and ran his fingers through my hair. Water droplets gathered on his skin. I itched to lick him.
“My leg’s starting to ache,” I said, putting it up on the bench seat like I had in the kitchen. His gaze flicked from my hair to my face.