“Cash...” she moaned, sliding down my shaft.
“Ride me, Junie.”
She did just that.
Digging her heels into the mattress, she swayed her hips back and forth. I roughly gripped the back of her neck to keep our eyes locked together. Our connection booming all around us, you could feel it a mile away. With my other hand, I clutched onto her ass, rocking her against me much firmer and quicker.
Our mouths parted, both of us panting uncontrollably, desperately trying to cling onto every sensation of the head of my dick against her g-spot.
“I love you,” she muttered, kissing my lips. “I love you so much.”
I smiled, it never got old hearing her say those three words.
“Cash, Cash, Cash,” she repeated, climaxing all down my shaft and dragging me over the edge of ecstasy with her. We shook from our orgasms, passionately claiming one another’s mouths.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
Someone knocked on my door.
“Fuck off!”
“I know what you’re doing in there,” Beck sang through the door.
Journey chuckled. “Don’t be mean to him.”
“Yeah, Cash! Don’t be mean to me!”
“Beck, fuck off!”
She smacked my chest.
“You’re getting laid now, and you’re still a moody prick! I wouldn’t be interrupting if it wasn’t important.”
“What’s wit’ everyone and their urgency this mornin’?”
She shrugged. “I’m going to take a nice long, hot bath.”
“Want some company?”
“No, I actually want to take a real bath.” She kissed my lips, and I smacked her ass while she made her way off my bed. My predatory gaze didn’t leave her naked body as she strolled into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
There was no wiping the smile off my face. For the first time in my life, I was happy, truly happy. It was such a foreign emotion for me, and the longer I was with her it only intensified.
“Cash! The fuck, man?! Open the door!”
I jumped off the bed to throw on a shirt and some gym shorts before I did. “What?”
Beck grinned. “You look freshly fucked.”
I scoffed out a chuckle, shaking my head.
“You know, I thought Journey would have been a lot louder.”
“Beck, don’t think ’bout my girl.”
He laughed as I sidestepped him to walk toward the kitchen. “What’s so fuckin’ important you had to drag me outta my room?”
Following close behind me, he questioned, “You haven’t talked to Jamie?”
“If I had, would I be askin’ you?”
“She said she was going to call you.”
“She did, but I hung up to take care of my girl instead.”
“You need to call her back.”
“Beck,” I stressed, grabbing the juice out of the fridge. I poured myself a glass. “Just tell me what’s up, and then I’ll call her.”
“It’s about the website for your old band.”
I faced him, confused. “What site?”
“First Verse.”
“There’s a site?”
“I don’t fuckin’ know, but that’s what she said.”
“What ’bout it?”
“I guess ... she’s been trying to get access to it for the last few weeks, and she finally did this morning.”
“What does she need it for?”
“The press. They’ve been trying to find whatever they can on your ass.
“Alright.” I nodded. “So have her take it down.”
“Cash...” he warily coaxed.
“What the fuck, man. What’s up?”
“I don’t know how to say this to you, but I think it’s better if it came from me.”
I arched an eyebrow, waiting for I didn’t know what.
“Fuckin’ A, Beck, out wit’ it already. I’m over the dramatic bullshit. What’s goin’ on?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to relieve the hasty tension for what he was going to share with me. A sudden anxious sensation crept down my spine and into the pit of my stomach.
“She said there’s a shit ton of emails in the inbox for you. Years and years of emails.”
I jerked back, never expecting him to add,
“From Aubrey McGraw.”
Chapter 21
“Next to love, music is the best solution to any problem. Music feeds the heart with what it needs in the moment.”
-George Michael
<>Cash<>
“Cash—”
“How the fuck do I get into this site?” I snapped into the phone, unable to control the emotions coursing through my veins and into my soul.
This wasn’t good.
I felt it deep in my bones. Nothing positive would come of this, yet I couldn’t look away. There was no question about it—I needed to know what my mother had to say.
I wanted a drink.
The craving was rearing its dark, ugly head.
Mind over matter, Cash. You’re stronger than whiskey.
I licked my lips, practically tasting the fiery liquid in my mouth. Triggering my legs to bounce up and down nervously. It made it hard to hold the computer in my lap, they sprang on their own accord.
My demons were making themselves known in a way I’d never experienced before. Clawing at my back, my neck, my goddamn heart that now belonged to Journey.
I was a fuckin’ mess, frantically fighting for the future I wanted more than anything.
Junie.
Jamie replied, “Beck told you?”
“I’m on my laptop right now. Where do I go?”
“Are you okay?”
“Jamie, answer my fuckin’ question.”
She inhaled a firm breath. “[email protected]”
I typed it in.
“Login is your name, password is your name again with the numbers 7, 8, 9, behind it.”
“How many emails are there?”
“Cash...”
In a sharp tone, I demanded, “How many emails?”
She sighed, “Hundreds.”
All the blood drained from my face down to the core of my body. Before she could say another word, I hung up on her. Coming face-to-face with the reality I was unexpectedly drowning in.
The screen changed over and there, in front of my eyes, was email after email from my mother. Most dating back to over twelve years ago. The first one was weeks after I’d left Oak Island and her behind.
I didn’t know what to say, how to feel, what to do...
Feeling lost once again.
Deeper and deeper the desire to fall down the rabbit hole became bigger and bigger.
My heart dropped.
I felt sick.
I couldn’t fuckin’ breathe.
The ground beneath me swallowed my whole body.
“My baby boy. I’m so sorry.”
The first email subject line read. I immediately shut the laptop, overwhelmed with the truth that was blatantly laid out before my eyes.
My family was a living, breathing trigger for me.
The craving to drink was so goddamn intense. I wanted to cave. I thought I had control over my sobriety, however, one look at my mother’s words had me questioning the last two and a half months of my life.