The meetings.
The individual therapy.
The group therapy.
All of it was beneficial. I’d learned a lot about myself during that time. A lot of self-care, meditation, and even yoga helped me stay focused on what really mattered. Life started to get a little easier.
Before I was discharged with my treatment plan, Journey helped me find a place to live. I bought a waterfront condo with a serene view of the ocean. Waking up to the sound of the waves crashing into the shore was therapeutic in itself. The only thing that was better, I got to wake up with my Junie wrapped in my arms. She ended up staying in Oak Island too, transferring her credits to the University of North Carolina.
I told her she didn’t have to go through the trouble, we’d make it work wherever she was living. But she was adamant Oak Island was home.
I was her home.
I hired the best doctors money could buy to appease her mind about the gene she carried. They all stressed the same thing to her—carrying the gene didn’t mean it would develop. After hearing it for the hundredth time, it started to sink in. Little-by-little, she began letting go of the fear she’d lose her mind and truly started living life versus writing it down in her notebooks. She still wrote in her journal daily, however, it wasn’t consuming her like it once did.
I knew in my heart and soul she was going to live a long, healthy life with me by her side. I wasn’t worried in the least, except about her refusal to say yes. I probably asked her to marry me at least ten times in the last month alone. Her answer was always the same, “It’s not the right time.”
When the fuck would be the right time?
We’d gotten into a few arguments over it. I wanted her to be my wife, carry my last name, and be the mother of my future babies. You’d think it would make her panties wet hearing me say those things to her.
Nope.
I wouldn’t stop asking in hopes that one day she’d say yes.
She’d be my wife eventually.
During my downtime, I wrote songs. I had more inspiration now than I knew what to do with, and I couldn’t wait to get back into the studio.
Music was still a huge part of who I was.
My mom wasn’t lying, I was considering the surgery to make my hearing better. I hadn’t decided when I was going to take the plunge, but it would be sooner rather than later. My team of doctors were the best of the best. I trusted them wholeheartedly. Regardless, nothing would stop me from being a musician. Not even my hearing.
“Look at this handsome man in front of me,” Mom exclaimed, tearing me away from my thoughts. “It’s like I blinked and you’re no longer my little boy. I swear you look more like your father every day, McGraw.”
There was a time that statement would have triggered me to react in an angry manner. Now it was a compliment.
My dad wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side. “He wishes he was as good lookin’ as me.”
I laughed, tugging the hair away from my face and placing it behind my ears.
“My heart stopped beatin’, and I still look this damn good.”
“Ugh!” Giselle groaned. “Daddy, don’t say that. I want to pretend that never happened. Worst day of our lives. I’m so glad you decided to retire. You were getting way too old to chase bad guys.”
He cocked his head to the side, making my sisters laugh.
She smiled. “I’m kidding.”
“It brought my boy home, didn’t it?”
I nodded, leaning into his embrace.
“I’m alive ’cuz of all of you.”
“That and a really good doctor,” Journey added to his statement. Her arms were wrapped around her old man as they walked over to us.
“I’m happy I made it in time to help,” Aiden replied, nodding to us.
If it wasn’t for Journey’s dad showing up when he did, my father wouldn’t be alive. Hauling ass into his hospital room only seconds after I ran out. He ordered another round of meds and shocked his chest again. From what I was told, everyone was blown away by the faint heartbeat on the monitor.
The good doctor lived up to his name.
My family’s relationship was better than ever. They attended several family sessions with my therapist and me. All of us took the opportunity to work through our issues in a safe and honest environment. We talked everything out, and I found myself understanding each of them in a way I never had before.
Especially, my old man.
We had the deepest heart-to-heart. Finally standing on the same side, battling my demons together. Apologies weren’t needed anymore. What I realized the most from the lost years between us was how much they loved me. How, with their support, I could tackle anything.
Including my sobriety.
I grabbed Junie’s hand, nodding toward the patio out back. She understood my silent request, walking away with me.
Privacy with her was what I craved.
“You look gorgeous in that dress. Did you cover up your tits for me?” I asked when we were alone outside.
“Well...” She threw her arms around my neck, getting close to my lips. “It is your big day. I thought it was the least I could do.”
“I wouldn’t have this day if it wasn’t for you.”
“I know.”
I laughed. “How humble, babe.”
She shrugged. “You know, there are several ways you can repay me for being so awesome.”
“Is that right?”
“Oh, yes!”
“Does it start wit’ you sittin’ on my face?”
“We could totally start there.”
I grinned. “When are you gonna marry me, Junie?”
“Cash...”
“What? I ain’t gonna give up.”
“You wouldn’t be Cash Motherfuckin’ McGraw if you did.”
“Don’t cuss, baby.”
She rolled her eyes at me.
“You sassin’ me, darlin’?”
“Maybe.”
“Through all the ups and downs of life, you are by far my most precious reward.”
She beamed. “I’ve loved you since the first time you sang to me. You’re my soul mate.”
“Then why won’t you marry me?”
“It’s not the right time, Cash.”
“You keep sayin’ that.”
“It’s the truth.”
“You tell me when that is, and I’ll make sure to ask. Yeah?”
She kissed my lips. “You’ll be the first to know.”
I closed my eyes and grabbed onto the sides of her face, wanting no distance between us. I claimed her mouth, reminding her of how much she owned every last part of my soul.
“I love you, Journey.”
She smiled against my mouth.
“You’re my June.”
My eyes opened and everything inside me went still.
Quiet.
I jerked back, stunned as hell.
“What?”
She followed my stare as I shockingly breathed out,
“Harley’s here.”
Chapter 35
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
-David Bowie
<>Cash<>
“I knew she’d come.”