“I know.”
“I love you, Cash. You’re my boy. You’ve always been my boy.”
I nodded, looking him in the eyes. “I just wanted you to be proud of me.”
“I am. Despite everythin’, I am so damn proud of you.”
My eyes blurred with tears, taking in everything he was saying. “I’m so ashamed for hurting everyone and for everythin’ I’ve done. I don’t know how to make it right. Wit’ you. Mom. My sisters. Harley. Especially ... Bailey.”
He faintly smiled. “Your mother has the most forgivin’ heart, and so do your girls. It will all be alright. We’re family.”
My chest heaved, rising and falling with each ragged breath. I desperately wanted to believe him. Silently praying he was right.
“What happened to you, Dad? How did you get shot? I don’t understand. You’ve always been so careful.”
“All that matters is lives were saved.”
“Are you gonna be alright?”
His eyes got weary and started closing on their own, a distant and hazy gaze clouding his vision.
“Dad?”
The sound of his machines slowed down.
“Dad?” I panicked, shaking him. “Dad? Dad?” I shook him harder as the beeping declined. “No! Dad, don’t do this!”
Beeeeeppppppppp...
His machine flatlined.
Silence.
“NOOOO!” I screamed loud enough to break glass. “Nooooo!” I cried out. “No ... no ... no ... no ... no...” I sobbed, my body shaking uncontrollably to the point of pain. “NURSE! I NEED A DOCTOR! NOW!”
I pulled the emergency cord out of the wall, and the staff swarmed the room. “You have to go!” the nurse ordered, shoving me out the door.
“You have to help him! You have to bring him back! He can’t die! You can’t let him die!”
“Clear!” the doctor stated, slamming the paddles down onto his chest.
My father’s body jolted off the bed.
Nothing.
“Please! Please don’t do this! Please! I need you! I fuckin’ need you!” I had to shut my eyes, my chest burning uncontrollably. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to breathe again.
“One, two, three, clear!”
Again, his body flew up.
Nothing.
The nurse slammed the door in my face. I watched through the little window as my whole life flashed before my eyes.
“Daddy, I love you. You’re my best friend.”
“I love you too, son.”
“Promise me you’ll always be here.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than wit my boy.”
“One, two, three, clear!”
For the first time I noticed the gunshot wounds in his chest. The blood some low-life drug addicts shed.
Drug addicts...
The rest proceeded in slow motion for the fourth time in my life. Time stood still, and I didn’t move from the spot I was cemented to.
“Charge it to three hundred! One, two, three, clear!”
Beeeeeppppppppp...
Silence.
The doctor set the paddles down, shaking his head in defeat while the nurse looked at her watch. Time continued to stand still as another nurse pressed buttons all over his machines. I didn’t know who to look at the most, my eyes darted all around the room.
Slowly, the rest of the staff started backing away solemnly.
They weren’t helping him! They were just letting him die!
“Nooooooooo!” I bellowed, banging my fists on the window before I forcefully opened the door to save him myself.
“Marcy, call it.”
“The time of death is five-thirty-five, PM.”
I jolted back from the impact of his statement as the world spun in a traitorous circle, dragging me right along with it.
I ran.
Hauling ass out of the godforsaken hospital. That now owned...
My father’s soul.
Chapter 32
“Success is a high you bounce when you hit rock bottom.”
-B.B. King
<>Cash<>
I stormed out the doors of the hospital and jumped into our rental car Journey reserved. She was aware I didn’t want to be near anyone, knowing all I craved was privacy.
Backing out of the parking spot, I slammed my foot onto the gas pedal. A loud screech burned off the tires, kicking up dirt, hammering hard into my core. With my foot heavy on the gas, I gunned it to hightail it the hell out of there. Not hesitating for a second.
Adrenaline pumping wildly through my veins was the only thing keeping me going. I felt every fight or flight response known to fucking man in a short period of time.
“Dylan, why can’t you just let him play? He’s not hurting anyone.”
“Just himself.”
Memory after memory tore through my mind.
“What about your dad, huh? What about him?” Austin questioned.
“He’s got nothin’ to do wit’ this. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t say anythin’.”
“What if you get caught, huh? What if you get arrested?”
Scoffing out a snide chuckle, I spit fire, “At least I could count on him to show up ’cuz it’s his job.”
I flew by car after car through every busy intersection until it was all one big fuckin’ blur. The rush surging through my veins, controlling my actions.
“How can you call yourself a father? When you don’t know the meanin’ of the word. All I ever wanted was for you to support me, to show up for me, to be present in my life! You don’t know me ... you’ve never tried to get to know me ... why must you hurt me?”
Faster and faster I drove.
“I may not have been the father you think I should have been, but I know when you took your first step, when you lost your first tooth, got your first haircut! I know about every skinned knee, every bruise, every broken bone, every runny nose, every milestone in your life. Why? ’Cuz I was there!”
I switched lanes, dodging and barely missing the vehicles in my way. Horns blared from every direction, but they didn’t stop me.
“This man standin’ in front of me, I don’t know him. I thought the day you left was the worst day of my life. It wasn’t. This moment is. My son is in there somewhere, fightin’ a battle I spent eighteen years tryin’ to fight for him. I can’t save you. I can’t help you. I can’t even see you. Behind your hazel eyes is nothin’ but a rock star who’s a drunk and druggie. Now do you understand me?”
The sirens blaring from behind me, suddenly caught my attention.
Whoop, whoop.
“Motherfucker!”
I didn’t pay the cops any mind, driving faster and with more determination.
“When’s the last time you didn’t drink, Cash? The last time you didn’t take somethin’ in order to feel nothin’? Huh? Tell me, when’s the last time you were sober?”
Swerving left.
Right.
Running a red light.
Whoop, whoop.
Abruptly, I hit the brakes, coming to a complete stop. My car catapulted forward as did my body.
“Son of a bitch!” I opened the door and whipped out of the car. “What the fuck is your problem?!” I seethed, slamming my fist on the trunk. “What are you pullin’ me over for?! Huh?! Can’t you see I’m fuckin’ speedin’ ’cuz I got someplace important to be!” I smashed my fist on the trunk again. “Back the fuck up and leave me alone!”