I walked ahead of him up the stairs and it was notably quiet at the firehouse. Hopefully they were having a slow evening. I always worried about Dad.
“Why is it dark up here?” I whispered over my shoulder.
“Surprise!” The loud booming voices startled me, and I almost lost my step. Cruz’s hands were on my hips as he steadied me.
Dad rushed toward me, pulling me into a tight hug. “Welcome home, Jady bug.”
“Thanks, Dad. I missed you. I can’t believe you did this,” I said against his ear.
“I didn’t. Cruz put it together.”
I shook my head with disbelief and took in the room. Everyone was there. Ari, my best friend and roommate, hurried over and hugged me so tight I was sure I’d pass out. Her boyfriend, Jace, followed before Sam lifted me off the ground and spun me around, and Cara laughed at how ridiculous he was. Sam and I had grown up together, and he’d always been like an older brother to me. He and Cara had been together for a few years now, and I adored her.
“Oh my gosh, Lennon? Is that you?” I said before Cruz’s brother pulled me in and wrapped his arms around me. Next up was Cruz’s best friend, Adam, his girlfriend, Tory, their manager Luke, their new bandmate, Zach, and Lennon’s adorable girlfriend, Bailey. I was stunned to see them here.
My dad’s girlfriend, Sara, hugged me for so long that tears pricked my eyes. I’d missed everyone so much. I would never have expected a welcome home party in a million years, and it was really good to see them. These were my people. And they were all here. Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Maria, Uncle John, Aunt Teresa and their littles, Sienna and Piper. All of Dad’s fire crew passed me down the line, telling me stories of Dad watching the news like a hawk while I was gone. I spent the next few hours laughing and eating and telling all of them my tales from my time in Honduras. We were saying our goodbyes, and they were all making their way out, when I caught Cruz’s gaze. He stood across the room from me. His back against the wall, feet crossed at the ankles, and head cocked to the side. My eyes locked with his honey browns and I smiled. I couldn’t help it. Even if I couldn’t be with him right now, it didn’t mean I didn’t love him. It didn’t mean he wasn’t my best friend. It just meant that right now we were in very different places. And first and foremost, he needed to focus on his recovery. And I needed to believe that he wouldn’t return to his old ways before we could ever be anything more than friends.
He walked over to where I sat at the large table which was still covered with half eaten platters of food.
“You want me to take you home?” he asked. He almost sounded nervous, which surprised me.
“Sure. Let me say goodnight to Dad.”
We both said our goodbyes and made our way outside and to his car.
And here I was again.
In a confined space with Cruz.
The boy I loved too much.
Chapter Six
Cruz
Jesus. She was killing me. She sat in the passenger seat and buckled herself in. I studied her profile. She’d always been the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen—and somehow, she’s managed to get even prettier during our time apart. Her hair was longer, and she wore it pulled back in a long ponytail. Her skin was golden tan, as she’d been working outside for months. She donned a simple white T-shirt that outlined her perky tits, and I won’t even get started on the fact that her nipples nearly sprung from her body when they saw me. I’d had to adjust myself several times when she wasn’t looking. I’d definitely need some alone time in the shower later, because my dick was having a meltdown.
“My dad told me you planned the party?”
“It wasn’t a big deal,” I said, pulling out on the road.
“I can’t believe you did that. Thank you.”
I came to a stop at a red light and glanced over at her. Her jade eyes were illuminated by the moonlight when she met my gaze.
“Of course. I’m happy you’re home.”
“Me too. So, you go back tomorrow? Is it challenging being on tour without drinking and, you know, everything else?”
“Not too bad. I mean, it’s tough doing something you don’t really want to do every day. You know I’m still leaving the band, right? Obviously, I love the guys, and it’s so much better without Dex now, but I’d like to start my life sooner rather than later, you know? So yeah, there’re moments that it would be nice to check out. Not deal with the bullshit. That’s just the fucking truth. But I won’t do it. I know you probably don’t believe me yet, but I’m not going back.”
I pulled in front of her house, and she sucked in a strained breath. “It’s not that I don’t want to believe you. I just think you need time to heal. We both do.” Tears spilled from her beautiful gaze, and my chest tightened.
“I get it, Jade. It’s okay to want time. I hurt you really bad, and I’m going to have to prove myself to you. And I’m willing to do that. So, for now, we’re friends. I’ll take what I can get,” I said, using my thumb to swipe at the liquid running down her cheek.
“Best friends,” she whispered.
“Honestly, you’re the only person I even like, so that’s a no brainer.”
Her head fell back in laughter. “You’re so full of it.”
“So, what’s happening with this Dick guy?”
“His name is Richard. He was my small group leader. We’re friends right now, but he thinks we should date.” She met my gaze head-on.
“And what do you think?” I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“I think I should date and be a normal twenty-year-old, you know? Try to move on a little bit for now. We both should.”
Jade had been forcing this whole dating issue since the day she left. Like she’d decided in her head that the only way to get over me was to meet someone else. It made my stomach wrench. The thought of Dick or anyone touching her. Being with her. I replayed my conversation with Dr. Roberts in my head.
What if she doesn’t come back?
Then she doesn’t come back.
Fuck you, Dr. Evil.
“So, I know you kissed him when you were there. Did it progress to more?”
Why was I doing this? Did I even want to know? I guess in a sick, twisted way I needed to know what I was up against. Because Jade and I were going to be together. I just needed to figure out the best way to get there.
“No. We kissed just the one time, which I told you about. But that doesn’t mean it won’t happen again.” She studied my face as she spoke.