“Not much I can do about it. I’m the reason we’re in this position.”
“This is good for you, Cruz. You’re learning new ways to deal with jealousy and challenging situations. Look at you. You’re sitting here eating a muffin and talking it through. That’s progress, son.”
When Jack Moore calls me son—it means something to me. When my father says it, it’s never had any substance behind it. But with Jack, it’s different.
“I hate it. And I hate him. But I won’t make you tell me everything you know, because that’s not fair to you. Unless you feel compelled to tell me what she told you about him?” Apparently, I wasn’t as mature as I liked to believe.
He smiled. “You aren’t actually asking me to betray my daughter, are you?”
“Only if you’re comfortable with it,” I said with a smirk.
He barked out another laugh. “Never. But I’ll tell you this. I really don’t know anything. I don’t think it’s anything serious. But I do think Jade wants you both to take some space, date other people—you’re young, and you’ve been through a lot. You know what my wife always used to say?”
“What?”
“It was her mantra when we first met,” he said, wiping at his eyes with nostalgia. “She’d always say, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. She said it when we’d apply for jobs, when we wanted to have a baby and when we struggled with making decisions. And I’ve come to believe it. You can’t change the past, so it’s out of your control right now. So, just keep working on you, just like you’ve been doing. Let Jade figure things out and see what happens.”
“You know patience is not my thing, right?”
“You don’t say?” He chuckled.
“She sounds good. I think she’s where she needs to be,” I said.
The place was buzzing. Loud chatter filled the space, and the door chimed every time it opened, which was often. Our waitress stopped by to refill our coffee, and I dumped in a few more packets of sugar while Jack rolled his eyes. A few people gaped when they walked past our table, but I kept my eyes trained on Jack, and they moved along.
“Yeah. So, are we still good to have that little welcome home party for her at the firehouse?” I asked.
“Yes. Plan on it. You sure you’re going to be in town?”
“Positive. Lennon, Adam, and Luke want to be there too. So, Zach will be there by default.” I chuckled.
“How’s that going? You really think he’s going to be able to replace you at the end of the year?”
“I do. He’s a good guy. They can actually get by with just three dudes if they wanted to, but they may bring someone in on air guitar to keep it a four-man band.”
“And you’re ready to leave all that behind?”
“Yeah. I mean, I’ll keep writing lyrics for Exiled. That’s what I like most. But I’m ready to be in one place. I’m over the long hours and the travel. The press. The lack of anonymity.”
“I hear that. And what about graduation. What’s happening there?”
“I should be walking in December.”
He smiled and shook his head. “That’s great. I don’t know many rock stars out there pursuing their education.”
“Thanks.”
“Are your folks going to come for the ceremony?”
I covered my laugh with a cough. “Probably not. I mean, who knows. My mom is in a different place now. Maybe she’ll want to come. My dad would not attend a graduation commencement unless it was a media opportunity. But I don’t give a shit about that. That’s not why I did it. I did it for myself. I don’t need anyone there.”
“Well, I’d like to be there. Hell, I wouldn’t miss it.”
My chest squeezed. Being sober sucked. It made me feel all sorts of shit I wasn’t used to feeling. “It’s not necessary.”
“I’m not going because I think it’s necessary. I’m going because I’m proud of you.”
I looked up to meet his dark gaze. There was no humor there. “Thanks, Jack.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Cruz. Regardless of what happens with you and Jade, I consider you part of the family. You know, I grew up similarly to you. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you that?”
“Really? Your dad was a rich, asshole?”
He laughed. “No. Just an asshole. Actually, a drunk, broke, asshole. It’s why I went into firefighting versus going to college. I mean, I wanted to be a firefighter, don’t get me wrong. But I also didn’t have four years to attend college and figure out what I wanted to do.”
“What about your mom?” I asked, sipping my coffee.
“My mom was a mess. I think my dad broke her heart. She spiraled pretty bad right around the time that I went into the fire department. She lives in Florida now with her latest boyfriend. She wasn’t around much when Jade was young, and after I lost Jaqueline, all of my attention went to Jade. So, I know what it’s like to have parents who don’t celebrate you. Or even show up for you. But it doesn’t mean you can’t accomplish what you set your mind to. That’s up to you.”
“What happened to your father?”
“He drank himself to death. He walked out on my mom when I was really young, so I didn’t really know him.”
I was surprised that Jack hadn’t had the perfect childhood. I guess everyone had their baggage.
“I’m sorry to hear that. But look what a good dad you turned out to be,” I said, surprised at where this conversation had taken us.
“It’s all part of the journey. If you get knocked down, you just need to get back up. Decide what you want and go after it.”
“I can do that.”
“I believe you are, son.”
I do too.
And I knew exactly what I wanted.
Now I just had to figure out how to get it.
Chapter Five
Jade
“You’re really going to make me wait until Friday?” Richard asked.
He sat in the aisle seat, Jessica was in the middle and I sat next to the window. Jessica kept turning around to talk to Dean who sat in the row behind us. I begged her to let me sit beside the window, claiming it would help my motion sickness. But the truth was—I needed space from Richard.
He was great—but relentless. He wanted to take me on an official date, and I’d spent the entire summer turning him down. I’d finally agreed to go to dinner with him on Friday because I had a goal that when I arrived home from Honduras, I would be more… I don’t know, over Cruz. I feared that as soon as I saw him, I would return to old habits. And it was too soon. He’d been sober for a few months, but he was still on tour with Exiled, and he needed time.