“Are you going back to the kingdom?” Knowing Tantor will be nearby offers a small semblance of comfort.
Nodding, he takes a deep breath. “I must keep an eye on what is going on within the walls. But I will be back.”
“What if there is no island?” I ask, working myself into hysterics. “What if there really is an island? What will I be walking into?” Question after question, doubt after doubt. It all starts piling up, threatening to bury me alive.
“Janey…” Moving in front of me so he can stop my pacing, my father grips my shoulders in an effort to ease my anxiety. “This is why I was going to wait until your birthday to gift you this,” he says with a chuckle that earns him a glare.
“Why?” I frown as I cross my arms. Hurt, fear, and doubt begin to create a toxic storm within me. “So you wouldn’t have to say goodbye?”
Humorous disbelief crosses his features as he shakes his head. “No, Janey. So you wouldn’t have time to think.” Seeing my thoughts written all over my face, he pulls me in for a hug and begins rocking me. “You’re asking yourself the wrong questions. What if there is an island, and you don’t go?” Pulling back, he continues. “Would you be able to live with yourself, Janey?” Flipping the questions around on me like that does the trick as the anxiety I was feeling is nothing compared to what I would feel if I didn’t go.
Taking a deep breath, I give him a small smile. “No, I wouldn’t.”
Smiling back, he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ears. “No, my daughter, you wouldn’t. You are the chosen one. Your destiny isn’t here… it's out there. I have no idea what you’ll be walking into, the legend speaks of many things, but I’m not worried. I know you, and you are the kind of person to bring peace when it’s needed most.”
“I’m going to miss you, Papa.”
“I’ll miss you too, Janey.”
Blinking back tears, I stare into the horizon, its breathtaking colors of orange, purples, and blues are so vibrant it doesn’t seem real.
It’s been five days since I set sail, and though the days are getting easier, it’s moments like this– where the sky kisses the ocean—that I wish he was here.
Leaving my father was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. He’s my home, my safety. But he was right, this was my destiny. I hadn't dreamed of the wolf or the man since that last night, and every morning I’ve woken since without seeing them, my heart grows heavier.
"How’s the seasickness? Any better?" At the question, I face my Uncle Talon and beam.
Talon was my mother's brother and a huge part of my life. When my mother died, he moved in with my father to help raise me until my father could get back on his feet. And just like my father, he’s always believed in the legend. Being a merchant sailor, he traveled around the world trading goods from country to country. Every time he returned, he brought me back stories and treasures in relation to Insula Sacra. When my father told him of his plan, Uncle Talon refused to let anyone else captain my ship.
"Much better, thank you. That trick of looking to the horizon really does work." Noticing there didn’t seem to be anyone else on deck, I raise an eyebrow. "Where's the crew?"
"Here and there. Some are cleaning, others are cooking."
"How did you get them to go on this scavenger hunt?" I wonder.
"They’re treasure hunters, Janey, and Insula Sacra is the greatest treasure of all," he says with a laugh. Coming to stand next to me he crosses his arms and stares out into the ocean. "You doing okay, kiddo?"
Turning back to the beautiful view in front of me I nod. "I think so."
"What do you think it's going to be like? The island?"
Blowing out a breath, I shrug my shoulders. "I really have no clue. The legend is hundreds of years old; it speaks of war, darkness, and death. But also, of life and love." My uncle studies me in silence as I explain. "I think it's going to be broken, but I also think it's going to be hopeful."
Staring at me for a moment as if in a trance, he shakes his head and chuckles. "You’re just like your mother, you know that?" he says, emotion causing his voice to shake. "Just like me and your father, I know she’d be so proud of you."
Swallowing hard, I face the water once more. No words can express how much his words mean to me. Instead of attempting to express my feelings, I stay quiet and let the emotional silence speak for me.
Waves crash and lightning strikes, disturbing the once peaceful night. Dressed in only my white nightgown, rain and hail soaks me to my bones. Holding onto the mast for support, I try to stay upright as the ship thrashes from one side to the other.
“Janey!” My uncle shouts, rushing towards me with a life jacket in hand. “The storm is too strong; we have to get to the lifeboat!"
"It was supposed to be here!" I shout back over the thundering storm, my heart breaking for a million reasons. Looking out at the water while he straps me into the vest, I can't tell where the night sky ends and the dark ocean begins. "It was supposed to be here," I whisper again in defeat. We followed the maps; we were guided by the stars. It should be here, dammit! "I can't leave!"
Suddenly, as if proving otherwise, lightning strikes the sails, igniting the material with a blaze so strong it illuminates the dreadful night sky. Horror flashes in my uncle’s eyes as he grips my arm. "You don't have a choice, Janey! The ship is going down and you will not be going with it. We have to go now!"
Dragging me behind him, I look over my shoulder, my life's work covers every inch of the ship. Everything I have, everything I believed in... everything my father believed in about to be lost. Blinking the devastating tears from my eyes, I give in and follow his instructions.
Scrambling against the rocking ship, we race to the side of the ship, where the lifeboat waits for us in the water below.
"Where is the rest of the crew?" I ask, fearing the answer.
Fire and rain fall all around us, the two forces of nature deafening and unbearable. "You’re going to have to jump, Janey!" my uncle shouts, ignoring my question. The now fire-lit water causes extreme terror to take over.
"I can't!" I cry, beginning to hyperventilate.
Gripping my shoulders, he spins me to face him and shakes me. "Listen to me! You can do this, Janey; you can still fucking do this!" I know in my heart his forceful words are speaking not only of the jump I have to make, but of my whole trip.
"But it's all gone. The boat, the maps, all of it.” I sob, my body trembling.
"No. It's all in here." He points to my heart. “Everything you need is inside you, Janey.”
"What if you were all wrong? What if we all die for nothing?"
The fire that grows hotter around us, engulfing everything it touches, reflects the truth of what he’s about to say in his eyes. "I knew signing up for this that we were only going to make it so far. This isn't our journey, Janey. It's yours."
Repeating what I had told my father, I whisper, "I'm scared." The truth of my words is louder than any storm.