I know there’s a post office around here somewhere; they’ll do maps surely.
I only make it twenty miles out of town when I’m being pulled over by a god damn Police car. No! He wouldn’t.
He would.
I have to sit and listen to the officer talk about how taking other people’s cars without permission is stealing, but fortunately Nathan isn’t pressing charges.
Fortunately… scoff.
A red car pulls up ahead of us and Nathan climbs out. He strolls over to the officer but makes no move to shake hands. It’s a conspiracy; they obviously know each other. They talk quietly for a few minutes. The officer even invites Nathan for dinner. I hate villages!
“Move,” Nathan demands when he makes it around to the driver’s side.
I clamber out and pull open the back door.
“Get in the front,” Nathan orders.
I ignore him and slide onto the backseat.
A muscle jumps in his jaw but he doesn’t say anything, he just waits until I’m buckled in before climbing into his seat directly in front of me. I chose this seat so I wouldn’t have to see him.
I’ve never been so humiliated in my life.
“I’m sorry,” Nathan says as we start to drive.
“I’m not,” I whisper and wipe my hand under my eyes. “I hate you.”
His breath catches. “You’ll get over it.”
I laugh once, although I don’t find anything funny. “You’ve completely humiliated me.”
“You did that yourself. I told you to wait until morning.”
He is so infuriating. “I’ll wait until morning then.”
“You aren’t leaving,” he states firmly and now I’m just frustrated and confused. Leave, don’t leave. What the hell is wrong with him? “And don’t bother trying. I won’t let you.”
“Are you suddenly collecting whores?”
The car lurches to the side as he pulls over. He waves at Lorna, who was behind us, to motion that she keep going. She does. I’m not relieved. In fact, I’m the opposite. Now I have no female support.
The car door opens and Nathan is half dragging, half carrying my squealing form out. He lifts me, much to my annoyance, and carries me around the car. Placing me on the bonnet, he stands in between my knees and wraps my long, black hair around his hand, tugging it slightly so my head tilts back.
“You’re not a whore,” he says, his eyes dark and furious. “Nor will you ever be a whore. I said a bad thing when I was angry. Nothing more and nothing less. As for leaving, I don’t want you to go. I said yet another moronic thing out of anger.”
“Get off me,” I beg, but he only moves closer, his face inches from mine.
“As for why I kissed you, I couldn’t resist. I’m a man and you’re beautiful.” My breath hitches at his words.
“That’s a crap excuse, now let me go.”
His eyes smoulder, their intensity startling me. “I wasn’t lying when I said to you that I enjoy your company. I enjoy it very much. Too much.” His body sags a little. “More than I should.”
“Nath…”
“I promise I won’t threaten to make you leave again.” His free hand rests on the curve of my neck, his eyes now kind and full of… something I’m clearly imagining. “You have my word. Please, accept my apology for upsetting you.”
“No.” I shake my head and look at my parted knees pressed lightly against his hips. “I don’t want to.”
“I’ve earned it, don’t you think? I deserve forgiveness.” His eyes now glitter with regret, his hand tightening in my hair. “Please.”
My lips pinch together. I swallow the lump in my throat and try to push him away with a hand on his chest between us. He moves even closer so I can feel his heat all over. It makes me hum in places I shouldn’t be humming. “Stop.”
“I don’t want to. Not until you say you forgive me and startle me with that beautiful smile,” he whispers, his breath fanning against my lips.
“Step back, Nathan,” I warn as his hands hook under my knees and pull me to the edge, my body almost pressed against his.
It’s useless. I try pushing at his chest but he won’t move. His hands grip my wrists and he clasps them behind my back with one hand whilst grabbing my hair again with the other. “Forgive me.” He presses his lips to my jaw. I gasp and a shiver runs through me. “Forgive me,” he repeats and places another gentle kiss further along my jaw.
“Don’t,” I beg, but it comes out breathy and does little to convince either of us.
His lips hover over mine, his eyes flicking back and forth, scanning my face to see my reaction. “Forgive me.”
He’s going to kiss me. If I don’t say yes, he’ll kiss me. Why am I not saying yes?
His face gets closer. My eyes get wider. My lips twitch in preparation when he moistens his.
“Okay,” I blurt, my body tensing. “I forgive you.”
“You have my word,” he whispers and I feel his top lip brush against my own. “I won’t touch you again, not unless you want me to.”
His hands release mine and I’m being tugged into his body. My belly gets in the way but I still feel his groin against mine briefly as he lowers me to the ground. My entire body spasms with it, heats with it, aches for it. I pull away abruptly and keep my head down.
What the fuck just happened?
Chapter Eighteen
Life has been settled for a while now, which is a relief. I got tired of constantly walking on eggshells. Nathan has cheered up a lot it seems, although I’m quick to touch wood whenever I think this, because I’m scared my words will jinx it.
The nursery looks amazing. I spent an entire day washing, drying and ironing baby clothes before putting them away. Everything has a place. It looks like something out of a catalogue. Perfect.
My mum has been calling me every couple of days for updates. I still have yet to tell her who I’m staying with and I’m not sure why I’m postponing the inevitable. It’s not like I’m doing anything wrong. Am I?
Nathan is spending more and more time downstairs with me, be it working on his laptop or reading a book. I’m enjoying it a lot. He’s even helped me cook a few times. I’m not sure why there’s a sudden change in him but I can’t say I don’t like it.
I can’t seem to shake the memory of the other morning when he exited the basement after an hour of working out. I collided with him in the hall, making him trip backwards on my slipper and slam into the wall. His arms came around me protectively and I leaned on him for a moment, embarrassed at my clumsiness.
“Sorry,” I murmured, pulling back to smile sheepishly.
He righted us both but kept his hands on my elbows. I immediately took note of the patches of perspiration on his chest and sides. My mouth became dry and my lips parted as I took every inch of him in.
“Are you okay?” He asked, turning me slightly as he checked me over.
“I’m making muffins,” I blurted, nodding towards the kitchen. “Banana and oat muffins.”
“I can’t wait to try them.” He tucked my hair behind my ears with the tips of his leather clad fingers and pressed his soft lips to my forehead. “I’ll be down soon, Gwen.” And then he jogged up the stairs and out of sight, leaving me feeling flustered and moronic.