“Fuuuuuuck!” I shouted into the empty space. “Son of a bitch!”
9
I didn’t understand what had changed from the moment Jax had been inside me and I’d been sighing out his name in abandon, and three minutes later when I’d bolted out of his apartment like I had demons on my heels.
I was sitting in the back of a cab, sans panties under my dress, completely freaking out; about what had happened, how I felt, and afraid of the future. I was shaking and vulnerable, feeling as if I was exposed to the entire world. Wondering how the hell I was going to explain leaving to Jax, but I needed to figure it out for myself, first. All I knew was that the minute he left me, fear settled over my entire being and I couldn’t explain it, I just had to get away; to think straight and figure it out. I shook my head. Jax gave me the choice, and I’d made it. At the time, I wanted him as if he’d cast some high-powered seduction spell on me. I knew it was ludicrous, and I’d just made it all worse.
I responded to the cabby with my address but kept to myself on the ride across Manhattan, huddled in the corner of the backseat, staring out of the window with my arms wrapped around myself the entire time.
When the cab arrived and he asked me for the fare, I realized I didn’t have my purse.
“Oh, shit!” I exclaimed. “Um, it seems I don’t have my purse.”
The driver shot me an exasperated look over his shoulder. “Seriously? Come on, lady. I don’t have time for this.”
I blinked and scrambled for what to do. Michelle might be out for the night. I wouldn’t know since my phone was inside my missing purse. I sighed in frustration. “Um,” I began but was interrupted.
“In about thirty seconds I’ll be driving you down to the NYPD and leaving the meter running on the way,” he said in a heavy Brooklyn accent.
“Really, it’s just an oversight.” I could have him take me back to Jax’s where I would retrieve my purse, but the thought of facing my lover, slash, professor made me cringe. I already looked like an idiot, I didn’t need this, too. My hands clenched into fists and then released a couple of times as I tried to figure out another solution. “Wait! If you wait here, I’ll go inside and get the fare.”
He looked at me skeptically. “How do I know you won’t go inside and blow me off?”
I didn’t have anything to leave with him as collateral. I looked up at the license in the front of the cab and saw his name was John. “Can you just trust me, John? I’ve had a bad night and I promise, I have a credit card inside.” It was one my parents gave me for emergencies, and this definitely qualified as an emergency. “You can leave the meter running,” I implored.
“Okay, but make it fast, will ya?”
“Yes, I promise.”
“If you’re not out here in five I’m callin’ the cops.”
“No problem.” I hopped out and rushed inside, thanking God for the electronic keypad on the door to the building and the other on our apartment. If I’d needed keys, I would have really been screwed.
I quickly dispensed with the first combination lock and rushed upstairs, then the second and I rushed into my apartment. To my surprise, Michelle was there; watching television. She looked up in surprise.
“Where have you been?” She eyed me skeptically as I rushed to the small end table by my bed and rummaged through it to find the Chase platinum card hiding in the back.
“Oh, um, I’ll explain in a minute. I have to pay the cab driver. I lost my purse.”
Michelle looked alarmed. “Where? Do we need to go look for it? We can just use that cab.” She stood up. “I’ll get my purse.”
I flushed. How could I tell her that I knew exactly where it was and I’d rather slink away in shame than go back to retrieve it? “No, that’s okay,” I said heading for the door.
“You don’t want to go find it?” Her brow creased in confusion.
“Michelle, I’ll explain in a minute. I have to pay this guy.” I rushed from the apartment and outside again. I soon had the disgruntled cabbie paid and headed back upstairs this time much slower because I was dreading the conversation with my best friend.
Once back inside, Michelle had resumed her position on the sofa, but her eyes narrowed. “Want to tell me what the hell is going on?” she asked knowingly.
I stopped in front of her, my head falling back and eyes closing as I inhaled deeply. I was conscious of the remnants of my panties hanging in tatters from my waist under my dress. This wasn’t like me to go to a man’s apartment on the first date and fuck his brains out. “I’d rather not talk about it right now,” I said quietly. I needed a bath, though I didn’t want to wash the scent of Jaxon off of me just yet. I was torn and it was stupid.
“This is weird, Addy. I’m worried. Why won’t you tell me what happened? Did someone assault you?” She was concerned.
My head snapped up and I looked at her, shaking my head. “No, not at all. I just left my purse somewhere. I know where it is, and I’ll get it later.”
“Where did you go, and why didn’t you ask me to come along? When I got home and you weren’t here, I texted, but you didn’t answer.”
“You weren’t here when I got out of the bath, so I couldn’t tell you.” I wished she’d just drop it.
“I just ran to the store for a little bit.”
“Well, you didn’t tell me, so why are you making a big deal out of me telling you?” I snapped.
“Whoa, hold up,” Michelle said, getting pissed. “Don’t snipe at me because I was worried about you.”
She was right. “Okay, if you must know, I had dinner with Professor Michaels. He wants to read my manuscript. He thinks I have potential and he might be able to connect me with someone in the publishing industry. I might be able to publish my book. I was so excited, I forgot my purse. The restaurant is closed now, so going back to get it would be pointless.” I was surprised how quickly the lie came out of my mouth. Michelle was my best friend and I was dying to tell her everything, to confide in her and get her opinion on what to do next, but my promise to Jaxon resonated.
Her mouth fell open in astonishment and she jumped up, her frown now replaced with a big smile. She came over to hug me. “Oh, my God! That’s amazing! Really?”
“Yes,” I replied, hugging her back.
She pulled back and looked into my face, one eyebrow shooting up. “Why do you smell like a dude?”
Oh, shit.
My heart fell as panic washed over me. I should have realized she’d smell him on me. Did I smell like his cologne or sex? I had to come up with something fast. “He hugged me goodbye, that’s all,” I said sheepishly.
Her eyes studied me, not fooled. “Uh-huh. And I’m Queen Elizabeth.”
“You’re looking good for ninety-something, Your Majesty.” I hoped being flippant would get me off the hook. “Taking a bath now.” I turned to walk the short distance to the small bathroom.
“Ha ha. How big is his dick?” she threw out.
“Michelle, I told you—”
“Yes, and I’m not in the market for a load of crap today.” She crossed her arms, her eyebrows still raised. “So, spill.”