I laughed again, somewhat embarrassed by her enthusiasm. I could literally feel my face flush. “Yes, he’s well… very well endowed, and he knows how to… use it.”
“Of course, he is! I could tell by looking at the bulge in his pants. Flaccid he’s big enough. So, oh, God! Erect, it must be a monster!”
My eyes widened. “Michelle!”
“Oh, what?” she said drolly. “Like you didn’t look at his crotch during class?”
I had, but I’d never admit to sinking to the level of every horny female in our class. I bit my lip.
“I knew it, Addy. You’re all ‘I’m so pure and proper’ but a man like Jaxon Michaels inspires the slut in all of us!”
“You’re just way too enthusiastic about my sex life,” I pointed out.
“So, did you do it in the bedroom? What’s it like? I bet his bed is huge! A man like that needs room to move.”
I rolled my eyes. “We didn’t exactly make it to the bedroom. We were so worked up from the alley and the cab ride, we started in the entryway and ended up on his couch.”
“I can imagine it so vividly! Pound town on the couch with Jaxon Michaels!” She sighed dreamily, clenching her thighs together. “I think I need my vibrator. I’m sooooo fucking jealous. Brenda would come in her pants if she knew!”
“You can’t tell her or anyone! Promise me, Michelle!” I was terrified of someone finding out and more afraid of Jax’s reaction, should he discover I told, even my best friend. “He made me promise not to tell, even you! It will ruin everything!”
“So, now you want the relationship with him?” She shook her head in disbelief. “You said you were afraid of your feelings.”
“I am!” I answered, then sighed deeply. “But what if I’m missing out on the chance to publish?”
She crossed her arms across her chest. “This doesn’t have a damn thing to do with publishing, and you know it.”
“I do want to publish.” It was true, I did. It was a dream, but right now, I wanted him more. I had to admit it, but would it be wise. I was already starting to fall in love with him. Maybe it didn’t matter anyway? I could have blown it by leaving and being so wishy-washy, but this was something I never thought I’d experience. Not in a million years, and I wasn’t prepared.
“I wish I were you, Addy.”
“Why? It will be miserable to hide it, or worse, he might be so mad he won’t want to sleep with me or help my career.” Suddenly, I was feeling like shit again. What had I done? I’d probably ruined things by leaving without saying goodbye.
“Yeah, it’s not like he has women running away screaming on a regular basis.”
“Not helping,” I said, staring at the can of Diet Coke in my hand until it blurred in front of me.
“Text him and apologize.” Michelle made it sound so easy; as if this happened every day.
“I can’t, even if I wanted to. My phone is in my purse. In his apartment.” I cringed.
Her eyes widened. “You’re in a bind, girl. Looks like you have to go get it. Just tell him you panicked and ran, but you’re sorry.”
I set the Coke down and dropped my head into my hands. Somehow, I didn’t think it would be that easy.
10
I had her purse in my office. If she wanted it back, she’d have to see me after class. I wanted an explanation for why she ran away after we’d just had the most mind-blowing sex that I think I’d ever had. Didn’t I make it clear that it was completely her decision?
Instantly my eyes went to the front of the room where I’d told her to sit. I’d gotten into the auditorium early and was seated behind the desk as students began to wander in. I sighed heavily, trying not to be conspicuous as my eyes moved between the two entrances at the top of both rows of stairs. I was freaking out, and I had been all weekend.
When I tried to call her and the phone rang in my apartment, I’d discovered she’d forgotten her purse. At the time, I’d been equally pissed and grateful at the same time. No one ran out on me. Ever. I’d been a gentleman all evening, even when we were talking about going back to my place. I’d made her come harder than hell, and I’d put off my own orgasm until I’d done so, so she must have freaked out. I didn’t expect it, and I felt helpless when I couldn’t call her. There was no way in hell I was going to run after her like some horny adolescent. I reminded myself that I was who I was, and I’d never reduce myself to that. I had to maintain a certain amount of dignity, even if my dick was acting like a compass and Addison was true north.
I didn’t like how I felt even as I tried to figure out what I was feeling. My chest was constricted, I couldn’t sleep; even booze hadn’t dulled the anxiousness I felt. I called my brother, but he was no help. In his offhanded way, he just told me to go bang someone else. He was a high-powered lawyer, yet he was always so crass when talking about the fairer sex.
“Dr. Michaels?” The redhead who sat in the front row and always batted her eyes had come up onto the platform and was standing in front of me. My eyes flitted over her tight shirt that emphasized her over-done boob job and mini skirt briefly. I was hard-pressed not to roll my eyes at the comparison my mind made between her and Addison.
Why did some women act like wanton idiots? I wondered. As if that would attract me. The idiot part being the operative portion of my mind’s definition of the young woman. Clearly, I could see she’d be willing for the simple banging my brother prescribed. I chided myself for even sharing with the asshole. He was too shallow to experience anything as profound as the connection I felt with Addison. I sighed and met her eyes. “Yes?” I couldn’t remember her name. I was annoyed that she was distracting me from my task of making sure I knew when Addison came in and where she chose to sit.
“Um, well… I was wondering, since I didn’t do very well on the last assignment if I could come in and talk to you about what I needed to do to improve?” Why did this woman rub me the wrong way? Why did her voice make me want to cringe like listening to fingernails scraping down a chalkboard?
I wanted to take her seriously, I really did, but the way she stood in front of me, shifting from one foot to the other and breathing hard enough so that her chest rose and fell, well… forget it.
“Have you looked at the bulletin board outside my office? There is a list of writing tutors, and there is a writing lab twice a week that my TA teaches. Have you signed up for that?”
“Well, not yet, but I wanted to get your help, personally. I’m trying to write a novel, Professor.”
My lips pressed together. “Uh,” I raised my eyebrow at her in question.
“Stacia,” she supplied.
“Stacia, yes. You have a way to go before you’ll be good enough to publish anything. You’re just at the beginning. I recommend that you attend Luke’s study sessions for a couple of weeks and if you’re still struggling, then get a private tutor.” I hoped my voice wasn’t coming across as condescending, but I knew what she was up to. She didn’t have the skill necessary to craft a novel, not at this point, at least, and I couldn’t spend one-on-one time with every horny woman who asked for it. I had serious doubts that she had any aspirations toward writing at all.