Tearing sounds into the darkness and I feel the room’s air lift the tiny invisible hairs across my chest and navel. He just ripped my top in half. I guess I deserve that.
We don’t say anything as he lifts me slightly, enabling him to pull my top off the rest of the way without disconnecting our mouths. As soon as my back hits the soft quilt, I use all of my strength to push him onto his. He gasps slightly, clearly shocked at my abrupt movement.
I slide to my knees on the floor and grasp his belt with my fingertips. The buckle clangs and clatters as I pull the leather free of its tight hold. “Gwen,” he warns, leaning up on his elbows, his eyes hooded yet nervous. “Don’t.”
“If you say stop and I know you mean it, then I’ll stop,” I assure him, which isn’t necessary because he could easily overpower me. The fact he’s letting me get this far with him shows his trust.
The belt finally pulls free, but his hand grips mine when I pop the button through the tiny slit and quickly slide the zipper down. “Condom.”
If this were any other man I’d agree, but it’s not. It’s Nathan and he uses condoms for more than just protection against STIs and pregnancy. He uses them so he can’t actually feel a woman’s wetness. He uses them as a barrier between him and intimacy. I’ve learned this the hard way. I never want to be in that awkward situation again.
Pushing his hand away, I tug on his trousers until they slide over his tight navy blue boxers and pool at his ankles. He allows me to lift his feet and pull them off the rest of the way. His breathing is ragged and I’m not sure it has anything to do with being horny anymore.
This assumption is proven to be correct when my fingers hook gently over the waistband of his boxers. A sob like noise tears up from his chest and I suddenly notice his body trembling.
What the fuck?
Guilt encompasses me in a grip that steals all of the air from my lungs. My chest aches in a way it hasn’t before. So much pain in such a seemingly strong man… I can’t let him have it anymore. He needs to share it with me.
No.
He needs to give it to me, all of it.
I climb up his body and settle on him so my breasts squish against his bare chest, my ankles up in the air behind me. I wonder if he’ll remove my bra. I really hope he will, but this is about him, not me, so I’m not going to remove it myself.
“Nathan?” I remove his hands from his face and scan his cheeks for any sign of tears. No tears, just fear and anger.
His accusing eyes come to me. I know he’s about to say something bad to get me to leave him alone. There’s no way I’m giving him that chance. I gently press my lips to his for a few seconds while my eyes close slowly and my body relaxes onto his.
When I feel his shaking subside, I lean up, my hair cascading over one side of our faces. I rub my nose along his, up and down the side. He lets out a sigh and grips my arms, clearly intending to push me away.
So I say the words I’ve longed to say but had no courage to before, due to my fears of betraying a certain somebody, somebody I’m not going to think about in this moment. This moment is for us; Nathan and I. Nobody else. Not even you know who.
“I’m in love with you.” Shutting my eyes once more to shield myself from the shock that plagues his, I press my lips gently to his again. In those five words I know something significant has changed in him. Something has changed in this moment between us. My lips move to his jaw as his hands relax on my arms and come around my back, trailing a gentle pattern over my spine.
I don’t focus on the burning it causes in my stomach; instead I focus on what needs to be done. Sliding down his body, inch by glorious inch, my lips taste his flesh. Finally I reach the waistband of his boxers and I wait a while, kissing along the edge, before finally pulling them down and over his impressive shaft, which points to ceiling for a moment before lolling backwards towards his stomach.
“Gwen,” he says and I see his hands go back to his face. “I can’t do this.”
“Trust me,” I say and pull his hands from his face. “Don’t look; just feel.”
I trail the tips of my nails over the sack that hangs beneath his solid rod. How the hell I’m going to fit that in my mouth I have no idea.
It twitches when I trail my nails along the underside ever so gently. He lets out a guttural grunt that makes his entire body spasm.
“I’m going to hold you now,” I warn him, giving him a chance to get used to the idea.
My hand wraps around him slowly, carefully, but with the right amount of pressure that I know he’ll like. He shudders, the toned ridges of his abdomen clenching as he inhales a sharp breath.
Poking my tongue out, I gently touch the swollen, red tip of him. His hands come to my shoulders and his torso knifes upwards until I feel his smooth skin touching the top of my hair.
I don’t give it another second. I instantly envelope him in my warm, wet mouth, salivating at the thrill of finally tasting him. He moans loudly, his hands coming to my head almost as if unsure where to hold and unsure whether or not he should push me away or push me down on him further.
“Gwen,” he pants, as I slide him from between my lips, caressing the underside of his throbbing cock with my tongue. “Do that again.” I try not to smile and fortunately succeed, even though I’m doing cartwheels inside. Back down I go, this time deeper, my cheeks hollowing as I suck and move back up with excruciating slowness.
My free hand strokes the inside of his thigh before settling on the delicate sack between his legs. I roll the balls gently between my fingers, my mouth picking up speed now that I know he’s comfortable.
“Gwen,” he repeats and I have to admit I love the way he says my name when he’s clearly absorbed by the pleasure that I’m giving him.
My head is tugged away after a few more seconds, his hand fisted in my hair. He looks at me, his breath heavy, his chest heaving and his pupils fully dilated.
Gulp.
I’m lifted as he stands and pushed roughly onto the soft bed, my body bouncing once. My jeans are being tugged down my legs and I don’t have time to lift my hips to help him as his strength does that for me.
Next my thong is gone and his eyes take me in for a very brief moment before he pushes my legs apart with his hands on my knees and lies between them. Instantly I feel his steel length pressing against my stomach as he presses his mouth to mine and grinds against me.
I’ve never felt so deliriously and deliciously aroused in my entire life, especially when he unclips my bra at the front with one hand and manoeuvres me until it’s away from my body.
He shifts slightly to the side, giving himself space to guide the head of his cock to my entrance. He rests it there, the tip barely tapping at my tight core that wants to be filled by him so badly.
I tilt my head and catch his eyes. He grabs my wrists and brings my hands to either side of my face. I inhale a shuddering breath when he laces our fingers together and rests his forehead on mine.
“Nathan,” I murmur softly, trying to give him the encouragement he clearly needs. His eyes are no longer on me; they’re looking down, at nothing in particular. Tortured is the only emotion he’s giving me right now.
“I need to put on a condom,” he states and goes to pull away. I hook my legs around his thighs and hold him tight. He glares at me. “I’m serious, Gwen.”