“Absolutely.”
“Thank you,” he said, but he still had trouble looking at me. I wanted to reach for his chin and turn his jaw in my direction, but I also didn’t want to freak him out. “Well, I gotta get back for the second set. Will you… I mean…”
“I’ll stay.” I leaned toward him. “If you want me to.”
“I do. I really, really do,” he replied in a thick voice, then headed back to the stage, where he whispered excitedly in Jesse’s ear before taking a deep breath and sitting down in front of the piano, calm and poised again.
13
Seth
I couldn’t believe Jake had come. I’d wished he would, of course, but tried not to get my hopes up. Now that he was there, I was nervous and trying not to screw up playing the piano while feeling his hot stare on me. And God, when he’d said I looked awesome, I’d nearly died. While I loved makeup, I never gave myself the kind of looks Jesse did, so I’d been insecure about it. I could look at it on others and think it was gorgeous, yet sometimes I felt like a fraud when it was on me, like I was trying too hard, but then…it made me feel pretty too. And while Jesse was good at wearing short skirts or shorts, I always wore a full outfit, and still did tonight. I wasn’t as confident as he was.
Every few minutes, I would toss a look over my shoulder at Jake. Sometimes he was talking to Dane, but most of the time he was watching me, this wonder on his face that made my insides all twisty. God, he was so sexy. I wanted him. Wanted him to do the kind of sexy things to me that Jesse told me about, but those things scared me too. What if I froze in the middle of it? What if I led him on, or thought we wanted the same things when we didn’t, or thought he liked me when I was just convenient to him?
The night seemed to drag on. When we took one of our breaks, Jesse sneaked over to me and knelt by my bench.
“Dude. What’s going on with you and Jake the Hottie?”
I rolled my eyes. “Nothing.”
“Oh, okay. Tell that to the way you’re blushing, the ridiculous smile you’ve had all night, and the way he looks like it physically pains him if he has to pull his eyes away from you.”
I glanced over, and Jake was looking our way. He gave me a smile before turning to Dane again. Could Jesse be right? No…I couldn’t imagine it. “We’re friends. That’s all. And as far as I know, he’s straight. Even if he wasn’t—”
“Stop. Right there. I don’t even want to know what you were gonna say. You’re gorgeous and sweet, and any guy would be lucky to have you. Jake would. It’s okay to want someone, Seth. It’s okay not to, as well, but if you do, you deserve it, ya know? Let that big boy ravage you!” He said the last part dramatically but quietly.
As much as it made my insides heat with desire, it also made me think about things I didn’t want to think about. “He doesn’t want to do anything to me.”
“Yeah, okay, whatever. Keep telling yourself that.” Jesse stood and kissed my forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
We went back to the bar for a drink but didn’t get to linger long.
We finished our shift, then like always, met up at the bar. Our performances ended a little before the Underground closed for the night.
“That was great. The two of you put on an awesome show,” Jake said. I couldn’t believe he’d stayed as long as he had.
“Right? We’re good together, but Seth here, so talented. And gorgeous. And sweet.” Jesse wrapped an arm around me, and I wanted to nudge him. He was laying it on a little thick.
“Smooth,” Dane said, and Jesse shrugged.
“We’re going to be here a while longer,” Jesse told me. “If you wanna hang and come home with us, you can. I know it’s hard to come down after playing all night, so I’m sure you don’t want to be alone.” Jesse looked at Jake, because that wasn’t obvious at all. I was going to kill my best friend.
“No, I don’t think I ever want to see you again,” I replied.
I wouldn’t let my eyes land on Jake. The last thing I wanted was for him to look at me with pity because my best friend was clearly trying to hint at something.
“I’ll walk you out,” Jake said.
My stomach flipped excitedly. “Okay.”
Jesse gave me a hug and a kiss. “Don’t be good; have fun and call me if you need anything, okay? Seriously. I miss you, and we can totally have a sleepover or something.”
“I’m fine, Jess, but thank you,” I replied before turning to Jake. “I need to get my things from the back.”
He nodded. I left him with the guys and went to change into my jeans and a T-shirt, washed my makeup off, then went back to the bar to Jake. The truth was, I really wanted to hang out with Jake, but I didn’t want him to do it because he thought I couldn’t handle being alone. I needed him to invite me because he felt like spending time with me.
“Ready?” I asked.
“You took your makeup off.” He raised his arm, his hand coming close to me as if he was going to touch my face, before he dropped it again.
“Yeah, I, um…don’t like to wear it late at night if I’m alone. You never know.”
Jake’s jaw tightened. “I never would have thought about that.”
No, he wouldn’t have to, would he? I shrugged because there was no changing it.
We said our goodbyes. We had to go through the Playground to get out, so I led Jake to the door and up the stairs. The atmosphere immediately changed when we got to the other part of the bar. I definitely didn’t feel as comfortable here. The music was loud, and it was always crowded.
As we tried to work our way through, I felt a hand at the small of my back. I knew it was Jake’s, and a shiver shot through me.
“Sorry. I don’t want to lose you,” he said close to my ear.
“No, it’s fine. Don’t apologize.”
We kept going until we were outside, and I sucked in a deep lungful of fresh air. Jake’s hand fell away, and I immediately missed the contact.
“Listen…” He ran a hand through his hair, then rested it on the back of his neck. “I don’t know if this is weird, but if you want to come over, you can. I know it’s late, but we can watch a movie or something. I don’t know. Maybe it’s dumb.” He shook his head, but it wasn’t dumb at all.
My heart was racing, and I wanted so badly to say yes, but I didn’t. “Why?” I asked, because again, I wanted him to invite me over only if he really wanted to spend time with me.
He frowned as if thrown by the question. “Because you’re my friend and I like hanging out with you. I know it’s new, but…yeah, that’s it. And it’ll be quiet without my mom there, ya know? I’m sure that sounds silly, but I could use some company.”
I smiled. God, my face hurt, I was grinning so big. He was probably going to take the invitation back because I likely looked like the Joker or something, but I couldn’t stop smiling. “Okay. I’d like that. I’ll meet you at your place? I’m parked around back.”
“I’ll walk you to your car,” he said, but I shook my head.