“Stepped in? Is this an intervention?”
“I think we are past that stage,” he muttered.
“Then what brings you up here? I don’t get the feeling you’re here for a friendly visit.”
He let out a long breath. “I’m hoping I could appeal to your good sense,” he said.
“My good senses are fine,” I told him. “I’m embarking on a new stage in my life.”
“What about the rest of us?”
I shrugged. “Why does what I do matter? I’m not asking you to do anything. This is what I have to do.”
“Your design for the new rudder system was one of the hottest topics in our world. My company beefed up our maintenance and install teams. We ordered the tools and equipment that would be needed to retrofit the older ships. All we were waiting for were the orders. We knew they would come once you gave your presentation. We already had a few companies in line, ready to send us their ships to be outfitted with your new design. And then you bailed. You left all of us hanging.”
“I didn’t mean to cause anyone any trouble,” I told him, feeling the bite of his anger.
“No, I know you didn’t. That’s not how you are. You are generous and responsible, and you have always thought about others.”
“And you are saying I’m not doing that now?”
He didn’t immediately answer, which told me that was exactly what he was saying. “I’m saying I’m grateful to you for everything you have done for me. Not just for me, but my entire crew. My bosses have gotten very rich because of your designs.”
“Because you have become an expert at building them,” I pointed out.
“I have and that has made me a lot of money. I’m only an expert because you let me into your head. You explained it all to me. I wouldn’t be where I was without you. You made it possible for me to get my job and then rise in the ranks. I had inside information and that made me valuable.”
I frowned. “I did not make you valuable. You are valuable all on your own. I’m just the guy that sends you an idea. You make it come to life.”
“Not just me. A lot of guys are involved in that process.”
“I’m not sure what you’re trying to say. Why beat around the bush? Spit it out.”
“I’m saying I’ve got a lot of guys that were depending on the work that was going to be coming in. We’ve got some stuff to keep them busy for the next thirty days or so, but if we don’t get any new contracts, I have to let them go.”
I slowly wound in my line. “You’re saying I am to be blamed for those people losing their jobs in a month?”
“I don’t want to put it on your shoulders, but it is mostly where the blame belongs. You got me hyped about that retrofit. You got the entire shipping world hyped. Everyone knew it was going to be good. Everyone was ready to jump on it the moment you made it official. Everyone was just waiting for the moment you made it available. Without you, a wonderful idea dies.”
“I’m sure you could pick up where I left off,” I told him.
He scoffed. “I would like to think I could, but I can’t. I might be able to finagle something similar, but it wouldn’t be a Xander Holland design. People trust you. They trust your name. They don’t want the grease monkey presenting shit to them.”
“You are not a grease monkey,” I retorted.
“I am and I’m proud of it. I fix. I don’t design. That’s your half of this very lucrative relationship we had going. I’m going to be fine whether you come back or not. I have plenty of work, but the extra crew? They don’t. They are going to be the ones going back to the unemployment office.”
“I’m sorry,” I told him. “I didn’t mean to disrupt your life or theirs. What I’m doing is about me. I don’t think I can handle thinking about what is best for anyone else right now.”
“You don’t have to worry about what’s best for them, but you do need to think about the ripple effects your decisions have. You walk away from your company, assuming that’s what you are doing, and the dominoes start to fall.”
“I’m not walking away from my company,” I told him.
“Are you sure about that? When is the last time you checked in with anyone?”
“They know I am taking a sabbatical. The company isn’t going under. The designs are there. All they have to do is sell the damn things.”
He was quiet for several minutes. “Man, you are really struggling, aren’t you?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Dude, you abandoned your life. That is some crazy shit. That’s the kind of thing someone does when they’re having some kind of breakdown. I’m not saying it’s bad. I’m saying I’m here. I can help you through this.”
I groaned and cast my line into the water again. “You sound like Evie.”
“The two people in your life that are closest to you are telling you the same thing. That’s pretty telling, don’t you think? Shouldn’t you maybe give what we are saying just a little consideration?”
“I get it. I know I left a few people in the lurch. I’ll send them all checks. I’ll compensate everyone for their time or whatever. This is about me figuring out what works for me.”
In the back of my mind, I couldn’t get the image of guys going home to their families and telling them the new job they just got was gone. I didn’t want to be the cause of someone’s pain. I didn’t want to dump a bunch of stress on a guy just trying to do right by his family.
I had a feeling Charlie knew that, which was why he told me. He was tugging at my heartstrings. It was nothing short of a miracle that he didn’t pull out pictures of crying kids to drive home the point.
My choices had consequences. This was one of the downsides to being wealthy and owning a company. It wasn’t just me I had to worry about.
Chapter 56
Evie
I couldn’t shake the heavy feeling on my heart and mind. I missed Xander. Each day he stayed away served as confirmation our relationship was not what I thought it was.
He had his own life. He was making plans and moving on. His plans did not include me. I did believe he felt something for me, but it wasn’t enough to bring him back to me.
“You look like you haven’t been sleeping,” my father said.
I looked across the table and offered a small and what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “I’ve been working a lot.”
“I don’t think that’s the reason for your lack of sleep. If anything, you would sleep like a baby after a long day at work.”
“I have a lot on my mind,” I said with a sigh.
He sipped his tea. I could never understand how he could drink hot tea on a hot day. “Do you want to tell me what happened? You’ve been so busy—or maybe you’ve been avoiding me—you never told me if you found Xander.”
“I found him,” I said. My mind flashed back to the moment I found him at the funeral. Then to the night in the hotel.
“I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess things didn’t go well.”