I did do it on purpose, sometimes. Ian and I bickered, and I knew he intentionally provoked me more often than not. I didn’t know why we continued, but it seemed natural. At first, we would argue about food or where to eat, both of us having been on our own for so long. But then it came with hidden smiles and mischievous looks, like some weird form of foreplay.
Or it felt like foreplay to me. Maybe he just liked to see me irritated. Maybe I was the only one who got heated and wanted to shut his mouth with my own.
“No,” I answered, shoving my thoughts down. “You’re just really bad at making decisions.”
His grin went from playful to victorious. “Then it’s a good thing I got eggs too.”
I shot him a glare, and he returned it with a wink before shuffling papers around. “What are you working on?” I asked to keep myself from running over to the kitchen and devouring the pancakes I’d never tell him sounded like heaven.
“Applications. I let Erik know there was no way I could take over the London office once it was complete.”
“Oh…” I’d been curious about that, but in all our meetings, we’d never addressed how they’d run the London office at the end of it. Ian was the main contact there and had spent a majority of the last six months overseas, but there had never been a decision made.
“Don’t act so shocked.”
“I’m not,” I fibbed. “I just know how much this project means to the both of you.”
“It still does. So, we need to find someone to train. I’ll have to travel frequently at first for set-up, but I won’t ever be there for long.”
He held my stare, letting me feel the sincerity of his words sink deep. It was his way of letting me know he wasn’t leaving me—that he didn’t want to. Warmth flooded my chest at his sacrifice. I knew how much his work meant to him, and he was choosing us over a project he’d been working almost a year on. When was the last time someone had given so much up for me?
The loud cry of our baby from the other room broke the moment, and I blinked out of my trance.
Before I could stand, Ian was already up. “I got her. Here,” he said, handing me a stack of applications. “Look these over and let me know what you think.”
Shocked, I blinked at his retreating back. Maybe because I always had to prove myself, it stunned me that he handed me these applications like he genuinely wanted my opinion on who to hire. A slow smile stretched my lips, and I ignored the way pride filled my heart and instead focused on the papers in front of me.
“Who’s the stinkiest baby in the whole wide world?” Ian said, coming back in the room. “You. Yes, you are. The prettiest, stinkiest baby there ever was. Mommy’s not allowed to have any more Chinese. No, she’s not.”
“Yeah, right,” I muttered.
He smiled and settled himself back on the couch, resting Audrey on his chest. My body froze as I took them in, just like it did every single time it happened. When would my body adjust to seeing this big playboy cradling our daughter? Probably never. Some ingrained gene that made me salivate at him being a protector to her. His big hands patted her back as he kissed her head, and I literally had to bite my lip to hold back the moan.
Jesus, Carina. Get a grip.
It had to be the hormones. My emotions had been all over the place, and Ian had taken each one in stride. The only one I’d managed to hide from him had been my deep arousal around him. I was like an animal in heat when he was near.
“How did you sleep?” he asked.
I swallowed the saliva building in my mouth and forced an answer past my tight throat. “Uh, pretty horrible actually. She was up for a couple hours between feedings last night.”
“Why didn’t you come get me?” he asked, genuinely shocked.
I waved him off. “It’s fine, Ian. I’m used to doing things on my own.”
It wasn’t like he’d be here forever anyway, and I’d need to be okay doing it all on my own. Yes, I enjoyed knowing he was here, but rarely did I ask for anything.
“How come?”
It was weird having to explain my past to someone. I’d been with Jake since college and hadn’t dated much before him, so he knew my past, and he knew the ins and outs of who I was. But Ian was a whole new beast.
“I don’t know. I guess growing up with just my father, who was so successful, drove me to want to be good enough for him. He taught me well but still sees the business world in an old-fashioned way, thinking men won’t take me seriously in the boardroom. So, I worked hard and did a lot of it alone to prove to him I was just as good as any man—that I was better.”
“Well, I’d much rather have you in our meetings over anyone else,” he said with a scan down to my chest and back again, waggling his eyebrows for good measure. “But I’ve also seen what you’re charging us and frankly, I think anyone else wouldn’t have driven such a hard bargain.”
He raised a brow at my proud smile. I did a damn good job negotiating their contract and brought in a hefty amount for Wellington and Russo. I sat up a little straighter with Ian’s confirmation.
“But I get it,” he said, kissing Audrey’s head again. “I did the same with my parents until I kind of just lived for me. Nothing I did seemed to keep their attention, so I said fuck it. In the end, nothing changed, except maybe I pissed them off more with my choices. I just cared less about their opinion of me.” He finally met my eyes and shrugged. “Kind of.”
“I get wanting to impress them, even if you don’t want to want to.”
We shared a rueful smile of commiseration about trying to prove ourselves to our parents.
“Your dad is proud of you,” he said, surprising me. “I can see the way he talks about you.”
“I know. He’s just protective of me, and it comes out like he doubts my ability.” I huffed a small laugh and shrugged, changing the subject. “When do your parents get back?”
“Next week,” Ian groaned.
“Maybe we can do dinner. They can meet Audrey.”
His face scrunched up. “Do we have to?”
“Yes. Now give me our baby. She needs to eat.”
Ian passed me Audrey, who had been stirring on his chest. She stared up with wide eyes, her mouth already open before I even had my shirt up. Ian didn’t stare uncomfortably, but he did watch. It wasn’t in a sexual way—more like he was fascinated by the sight of us together. Like he was in awe of it. So, I didn’t shy away because I was comfortable and frankly, if he was staying here as much as he was, then I just had to get used to whipping a boob out with him around. I sure as hell wasn’t going to hide under a cover in my own home.
“You’re good at this,” Ian complimented.
I sat tall and gave him a smirk. “I know.”
“So modest.”
“Wow,” I deadpanned. “Coming from you.”
“I’m the most modest man you’ll ever meet.”
“Oh, God,” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Lord, help us, Audrey.”
Ian sat back on the couch and just watching him lounge made me realize how little sleep I got, and I yawned.
“Why don’t you use that contraption thingy,” he said gesturing to my chest. “I can take her to work with me, and you can get some uninterrupted sleep.”