Opening the car door, I exit and walk inside the medium sized, modern decorated space. It’s white and airy and gives off a welcoming feeling. The bubbly receptionist greets me and tells me to head on back to Mr O’Donnell’s office, it’s the first one on my right and that I’m expected.
I make my way through the office as instructed and turn right. The closed office door is in front of me with an empty desk situated outside it. As I approach I’m stopped in my tracks. This must be Alannah’s desk. There is a half drunk cup of tea, in a unicorn mug, sitting on it. She has an obsession with the mythical creatures. Having this mug in front of me takes me back to the morning I ruined us and smashed her favourite unicorn mug on the tiled kitchen floor in anger. I really am despicable. I wanted to be spiteful and hurt her. I have so much to make amends for. However it’s the framed photograph that has captured my attention.
Smiling back at me is a little girl. Straight away I can see that she has my eyes, the clear grey being reflected back at me. She’s beautiful just like her mother. I regret so much within a split second. I don’t know her. I know nothing about her. I feel my heart squeezing in remorse.
Hearing a noise I glance up to see O’Donnell’s office door open and Alannah walk out. My breath catches in my throat. She looks the same as I remember, only slightly thinner and her long brown hair has been cut short to brush her shoulders. Dressed in a black pant suit her curves are perfectly displayed. She’s even more beautiful if that’s possible and my body reacts to her proximity with a tingling in both my chest and pants.
She sees me standing there and almost trips over her feet from the shock of finding me before her. I want so much to just hold her, kiss her, fall to my knees and beg her for forgiveness but I need to take things slow. I don’t even know if she will give me a chance to talk to her and explain things.
We stand there staring at each other, taking in each other’s appearance after so long. I don’t know how much time passes as I continue taking in the sight of her, eventually I watch as she straightens her shoulders and takes a few steps forward to stand behind her desk, using it as a barrier between us.
“Mr Moore. Welcome.” Her voice is formal and artic cold towards me. I hate it.
“Alannah.” I greet her.
“Mr O’Donnell would like me to apologise for him. He has a family situation this morning and will be a little late. He asked that I take you out and show you the first property on your list and he will meet you out there, if that’s agreeable?”
“That won’t be a problem. You can drive with me if you prefer.” Maybe I can get her to ride with me and talk a little in the car but she declines.
“No, thank you. I will take my car as I will need to come back here. I believe you have the address. I’ll meet you there. It’s about a thirty minute drive from here.”
“Very well, I’ll see you there.” I can’t help but feel a stab of disappointment.
I take another look at the photo of our daughter before I leave. She watches me staring at it but doesn’t say a word.
I spend the half an hour drive trying to come up with some way to get her to spend time with me, to talk to me. This is going to be so much harder than I thought. Not that I anticipated it to be easy but I need to get past that wall of indifference she’s put up.
Arriving at the property Alannah spends fifteen minutes showing me around and giving me all the details of the size and what restrictions have been placed on the land in terms of what can and can’t be built, as well as the average selling prices for this area for the last year, but I don’t give a shit about that. Being in her presence has me experiencing a confusing mix of regret and sorrow. She refuses to look at me and insists on being formal. She won’t answer my questions or talk to me about anything other than the land. I’m frustrated and don’t know what to do to get a reaction out of her. Even if it’s a small one, telling me to get lost.
There’s only one way to get her to show me some sort of feeling so I go for it.
“You look beautiful by the way. Motherhood really agrees with you.” She spins on her heel, fire and hatred shooting out of her eyes.
“Are you even remotely interested in buying this land, Mr Moore or was this some ploy to get to me?”
“Both.” I admit.
She shakes her head and looks down at the ground briefly before making eye contact once more. We hear a car come up the long dirt drive. That must be her boss John O’Donnell coming up.
“Go to hell, Nicholas. Crawl back into the hole you came out from.”
With those words she turns around, walking away from me and back to her car.
That went well.
Chapter 3
Alannah
I’m on autopilot for the remainder of the day. I’m not thinking about what I’m actually doing. My body is going through the motions while my mind refuses to stop playing today over and over again.
I was so mad at John this morning. He basically threw me to the lion unknowingly. The plan was to hide out in his office when Nick showed up and wait there until they left. But then he called to tell me he was running late and to show the first property to the client. I know it wasn’t his fault his wife got food poisoning and he had to look after his girls and get them off to school, but I had to blame someone for me being in this mess right now and he was the easiest to point the finger at.
I tried to back out of it, telling him I’m not a salesperson and will screw it up. But he insisted, saying I’ll do great. What the hell was I going to do, how was I going to survive today?
I wasn’t prepared to see him when I stepped out of John’s office. Nick was early. Seeing him brought back all the emotions I had pushed deep down and away. All the hurt, anger, sadness, disappointment and every memory of every moment we shared together.
He looked good. Really good. Asshole. He didn’t seem to have suffered at all, unlike me. I wanted to smack the shit out of him. Although, however fleeting, there was a very brief moment where I wanted to pretend that all was okay between us. What the hell is wrong with me? Haven’t I learned my lesson when it comes to him?
The sound of his voice gave my body goose bumps and reacted in the way it always did when he was around. One look at him and my body had come alive. Obviously my body doesn’t know he’s the enemy, unlike my heart.
I saw him look at Charlie’s photo on my desk. She has his eyes, he can’t deny that. He didn’t say anything about it so I have no indication of what he’s thinking. His face stayed impassive. Why was he even here, standing before me? Nicholas never did anything without a reason behind it.
I played the ice queen and stayed professional. It was the only way for me to get through it without falling apart and lashing out at him. I’m positive that John would not have appreciated me telling off his client.
John has never asked about Charlotte’s father and respects my privacy, however if Nicholas is to be around more often I will have to come clean to him so at least he understands why I go into a murderous rage around him.
I can’t believe he attempted to be friendly. Is he freaking nuts? I’m not going to pretend to like him and make small talk. He tried asking me what I’ve been up to, about my mother, how I like living here and about my job, mundane stupid questions. The nerve of the man. I didn’t answer a single one.