My mother always knows how to push my buttons to get me pissed off. I don’t need to constantly be reminded that I’m doing this on my own. I’m living it every single day. The reason I haven’t given any other guy a chance is because I’m not willing to fall so deeply again, only to be left devastated. I’ve learnt my lesson the hard way.
Charlotte was yawning in the car on the way home. When we get back I put her straight in the bath, and then tuck her in bed before reading her a story where she manages to fall asleep in the first five minutes. She looks so peaceful. I sit there a while longer gently running my hand through her hair. Her little world is about to be shaken up. I pray and hope this doesn’t end badly and hurt her.
I tiptoe out of her room and make my way to my own bedroom. I fall back on my bed feeling weary. I had forgotten how tiring dealing with a certain grey eyed millionaire can be. I hold Nick’s business card in one hand and my phone in the other. This is the right thing to do, even if he doesn’t deserve it. I quickly dial his number before I change my mind and wait for him to answer.
“Nick Moore.”
“Um…hi, it’s me.”
“Alannah? Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. I was wondering if tomorrow morning would suit you to come over to meet Charlotte. Say around ten o’clock.”
“Absolutely, I’ll be there. Thank you, Alannah. I appreciate it so much.” I can hear his joy over the speaker. Where was this happiness before?
“I’ll see you then.” I hang up and rub my temples. I just have to get through tomorrow. One day at a time. It’s going to be a long weekend and I’m going to get a stomach ulcer before all this is over.
After another restless night spent tossing and turning I get up and dress in a simple green sun dress. I need to tell Charlie about Nick coming over while we have breakfast to prepare her. She is devouring her cereal while I finish my tea, my stomach is not up to handling food this morning. Nick will be here in an hour so it’s now or never.
“Charlotte.” She raises her head to look at me. “We’re going to see an old friend of mine today, actually he’s coming over here to our house. His name is Nicholas and he lives in Sydney where mummy used to live a long time ago before you were born. He wants to visit because I haven’t seen him in a long time and he wanted to come over and meet you too. What do you say to that?”
“Okay. Can I go play now, I’m finished?” Just like that she takes it on board and agrees. It’s so simple for her.
“Sure.” She runs off leaving me to collect her bowl and cup.
Right on ten there’s a knock at the door and the butterflies in my stomach increase tenfold. Exhaling deeply, I open up and there he is, in a blue polo shirt and dark jeans. It should be illegal to look this good so early in the morning. His dark hair is damp from his morning shower. The image of a naked Nicholas Moore with water running down his chest pops into my head. Really woman? This is neither wanted nor helpful in this moment. Snap out of it. He’s been here one day and already you’re picturing him naked.
“Hi.” I say.
“Morning, these are for you. Thanks for doing this, Alannah.” He hands me a bunch of flowers. Yellow roses to be exact.
“Thank you.”
While I was pregnant I spent a lot of time in the garden with my mother and Pat where I learnt the meaning of some of their flowers. Yellow roses can be a symbol of new beginnings. He is also holding a single daisy, meaning hope, with a yellow ribbon tied around the stem. We hear tiny steps running down the hall and turn at the same time to see our daughter come running into the room.
Charlotte sees him and stops in her tracks, she changes direction, running up behind me to hide and peek around my legs. I coax her around to stand before me with my hand on her shoulder.
“Charlotte, this is my friend Nicholas that I told you about.” Nicholas kneels down on one knee before her.
“Hello, Charlotte. I’m so happy to meet.” He gives her the daisy and shakes her hand making my daughter giggle. Smooth, Moore. I watch his eyes move, scanning her face all over taking her in.
“Thank you. If you’re mummy’s friend you can call me Charlie.”
“Charlie?” He asks looking my way.
“Her nickname. When she was younger she had trouble pronouncing her name and it sounded like Charlie, it kind of stuck.” I explain.
“Okay then. Charlie it is, I like it.”
I’m watching them together for the first time, interacting with each other. I don’t know what I was expecting but somehow seeing him here with her makes me even more resentful that he, for lack of a better word, abandoned us. Control your emotions Alannah. Deal with it when Charlie’s not around.
“Come in, would you like some coffee?” I need to play the welcoming host. Even if I can’t drink it I still keep it in the house for others.
“No, I’m good, thanks, I just had breakfast.” He stands back up and steps inside as I close the door behind him.
It goes quiet. Now what?
Charlie breaks the silence. “Do you want to come see my cubby house that my grandpa Dennis built me?” She asks him.
“I sure do, lead the way.”
She loves that thing. I’m not surprised she asked him to see it. She grabs his hand and pulls Nick through the house and out the back door. She seems comfortable with him, so that’s a good sign isn’t it? I was afraid he would unintentionally intimidate her like he tends to do with others.
I put the roses in a vase before stepping out onto the porch to watch them play. I think it’s best if I stay back and observe them for the time being. After all, Nick needs to build a relationship with his daughter, not me. But he said he wants you back too. Yeah well he can go sit on a cactus for all I care. Charlotte is showing him all the features of her house and then pulls out her hula hoop. She demonstrates then passes it over to Nick. Now this should be fun to watch, Nicholas Moore, trying to hula hoop. He places it around his waist and spins but it just falls straight down, his hips doing nothing at all. I hear Charlotte laugh and say, “That’s not how you do it silly.”
I never thought this is a sight I would see, Nicholas Moore playing with a child, his child to be exact. I’m glad he didn’t come over here with his CEO persona on show. Fuck! I just realised if the media gets wind of why he’s here or who Charlotte and I are, we’re going to be hounded. Shit, I’ll need to talk to him about trying to keep us out of the spotlight. Since his company started raking in the millions, expanding with multiple buildings going up, with some of his designs even winning awards, he’s been followed around and photographed on occasion, the fact he’s also young and handsome as well as talented making him newsworthy.
He takes a break from playing after twenty minutes and comes to join me on the deck.
“She’s amazing, beautiful and so smart.”
“I know.” I’ve been here.
“You’ve done an incredible job. I’m sorry-” I stop him.
“Save it. I don’t want your apologies, Nick. I called around this morning and made an appointment for her to see a cardiologist in two weeks’ time. That’s the earliest appointment I could get.”
“Okay, great. The sooner the better.” I don’t know what else to say to him so the silence between us grows. “I’m flying back to Sydney tonight but would it be okay if I call Charlie during the week so I can get to know her better?”