Biting the inside of my cheek, I said, "Let's schedule the dialysis now. I'll be here with bells on first thing when I get back." I stopped when something dawned on me. "Wait, I'm supposed to be going back to Amelia Island after the Games."
"That's not an issue. I have an office about thirty minutes west of there. I'll make sure your file is transferred and everything is in place when you come in. In the meantime, once you decide where you will relocate to, let me know so I can put together a reputable team. How long will you remain in Georgia?"
"I'm not sure."
Dr. Kozol began writing while he asked me questions. Since I was deferring school to recover, I had roughly nine months before school started again, which meant I had about six or so to prepare for the collegiate team, and three months to get my health in order.
"Right now, you're retaining fluid in your feet, which isn't good."
"Is that why they felt stiff and swollen this morning? I almost had to change my shoes."
"Yes. Luckily, it hasn't reached your face. Any nausea or confusion? Irregular heartbeat? A change in urine?"
I shook my head. "Honestly, no. I've been feeling really good. Other than the usual joint pain and more hair loss, nothing out of the ordinary. My headaches have been pretty bad, but I think those are due to the fact I'm stressed out and running on anxiety because of the training camp and the Games."
His eyes met mine above the rim of his glasses. "Don't ignore what your body is trying to tell you."
"I'm not."
The room grew quiet as Dr. Kozol made his notes. I wasn't too thrilled about starting dialysis.
"You're going to be monitored for heart disease since you already have severe kidney damage that's progressing. I'm going to switch out one of your medications for a stronger steroid. This'll help with the wear and tear. I implore you to take the medication exactly as it's stated on the bottle. You cannot miss a dose."
I sat up straighter. "I'll fill the prescription, but I need to see if it's on the list of banned medications before I take it. I'm going to be given a full health screening by the Olympic Committee, so I'll need a full copy of my file."
"I spoke with your father and already have it prepared for you. I’ve included my personal phone number for their physicians. Everything is right here," he said, tapping the thick folder next to him. "I also told Frank I'd be willing to attend just to be safe. He felt like it was a good idea."
A huge sense of relief washed over me. I smiled, actually liking the idea. There would be doctors chosen by the Olympic Committee, but they didn't know me, and if I was cutting it as close as I supposedly was, maybe this was a good thing.
I hadn’t made it this far just to collapse now.
Twenty-Eight
"Everyone is going to know." I whined into my cell phone.
"Why is that a bad thing?" Avery asked.
"When you found out, how did you feel?"
She was quiet for a moment. "I guess I was really sad and just felt so bad. I started thinking about all the negative things. I got really down inside and cried."
"Exactly. I don't want that. I don't want anyone to feel that way about me. I'm fine. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Now people are going to look at me differently. They're going to be like, 'Oh, that's the girl with lupus and kidney disease,' or 'Why doesn't she look sick?' What if they call me names for pursing my dream instead of getting better? Then the digging starts, and the questions follow. Then there's the pity looks. I just don't want to be made to feel any different, because I'm not. I'm just a little sick. Others have it worse than me. I'll be fine."
I was in my room packing for my early flight and stopped to sit on the bed. Lying back, I stared at the celling.
I started to panic about one thing, then all the little things followed that didn't bear a thought in my mind before this. The walls of my chest began to feel like they were closing in and then the pressure started. I didn't like when my pulse pumped harder in the next beat. It shook me up. My hand flew to my chest and I closed my eyes, inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth. My fingers shook and my body began to warm all over.
"Yeah, but they're not going for gold either." Her tone softened and I opened my eyes. "Maybe it won't be such a bad thing. Talking about it is good, chica."
I let out a dramatic sigh. "I can't believe I didn't see this coming."
"I can't believe I get to go to the fucking Olympics and watch my bestie!" Avery said.
I chuckled and sat up. Glancing over my shoulder at my suitcase laid open on my bed with clothes and leos strewn across it, I reached for my favorite leo and fingered the material. I'd gotten this one shortly before I went to World Cup. It was all black with tons of fuchsia Swarovski crystals in different sizes across the chest. It was the leo I wore to warmups right before my big meets. Joy had gotten it for me.
"Will it be weird with Xavier there?"
"I don't have an issue with him, he's the one who hates me. You know that."
"True, but didn't he call you when he found out I made the team?"
Her giggle made me smile. She was giddy. I was surprised when I found out Xavier had called Avery and told her the news considering how he supposedly felt about her.
"He did. He's so excited for you. I honestly hadn't heard him like that in so long." She paused. "It was good to hear him so happy for a change."
"Do you think you'll talk to him, like hang out at night? You know I have to room with my team, so I won't be able to stay with you."
"I'm not worried in the least. If he wants to chill, I'm cool with that. If not, then that's fine too. I figured I'd walk around and check out the eye candy. I know all"—she drew out the word—"about the Olympic Village and what goes on. I read online that over a hundred thousand condoms were ordered just for the Village, and nearly five million for the whole city. That's a lot of fucking for just two weeks."
A loud laugh burst from my throat. The Olympic Village had super tight security to protect the athletes and help keep them focused on their events without distraction. That meant no reporters or parents or friends were allowed behind the gates. Only those competing in the Games. With a variety of ages and bodies primed, and all the tension and stress, athletes needed a way to let loose. From what I'd heard, nothing was off limits and anything was possible. There had been numerous rumors surrounding the last Games about orgies and dating apps used for sex. Honestly, I couldn't imagine doing any of that.
"So, what do you think you're going to do? Just sneak inside and people watch?" I laughed picturing her walking around like a little kid in a candy store. "Are you going to walk up to a dude and say take me for the night, no name needed?"
"Aid… Stay innocent. I know a lot of the guys visit bars and venture outside the Village after they're done competing. I just want to see them in all their glory. Nothing more. Look, but don't touch."
"Right," I said, not convinced in the least. I placed my cell on my shoulder and held the phone with my ear. Folding my leos and gym shorts, I stacked them in my suitcase. "Make sure you tell my brother first. I bet you won't make it through the hotel doors."