“You mean everything to me. I don’t want to lose you over some weird plot I came up with to get back at a guy who doesn’t matter anymore.”
“You can’t lose me”—Jude cups my cheek—“because we’re best friends. We’ll talk through shit. We can do that.”
I smile, relaxing more. “We can do that.”
He pats my hip. “Let’s get up and get some coffee in us, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Jude pulls the blankets down exposing my naked body then laughs as I scramble to cover myself again. “Sorry.”
I just laugh.
“You shouldn’t be shy though, Bri. You look really good.”
I’m sure my face turns ten shades of red as Jude climbs out of bed and shuffles off. I’m still trying to process what happened as I finally get up and make my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth and pee. After I slide on a pair of boxers, I go into the kitchen and start the coffee.
A few minutes later, I feel Jude pressing up behind me, pushing my body into the island. Neither of us speaks, and the only sounds are the percolating coffee maker and Jude’s rough breaths on my neck. His hands crawl up my stomach and chest, gently kneading the flesh he finds. My brain is telling me to stop him or at least question him about what’s happening, but my traitorous body is winning this particular battle.
“Turn around, Briar.” His voice is rough, demanding, heavy with desire.
I do and meet his eyes. “Jude—”
“Don’t stop me, okay?”
I nod, my legs literally shaking with nerves.
“Unless you really don’t want me.” Jude’s eyes plead with me to say I do. “Do you want me, Bri?”
“Yes,” I whisper, then throw my head back as Jude’s lips attack my throat.
He buries his face in the crevice of my neck, and I gasp as his hands move down my body to my ass, squeezing through the material of my boxers. His dick presses into my thigh, and I can’t stop imagining what it must feel like to be fucked by this thing.
I feel him fidgeting behind me then the telltale sign of a bottle clicking open. Jude’s hands make quick work of my boxers, and then there’s flesh. Hard, hot, throbbing flesh pressed together. Oh fuck. I’m gonna lose it. I’m literally going to implode.
The next sensation is Jude’s slick hand stroking my dick, stroking his dick, stroking our dicks together. Jesus fucking—
Jude’s insatiable moaning cuts through my own lust-dazed thoughts. “You feel so good.” His voice is shaky, muffled against my throat. “Am I doing it right?”
“Fuck. Yes.”
Pressed against the island, I’m unable to move much, and I don’t want to. What I can do is rock my hips into his, increasing the friction. It takes both of his hands to hold our dicks together, his mouth now sucking on my skin which is sure to leave a mark. Jude’s mark. Oh god, that’s almost enough to push me over the edge.
His breathing is shallow and hot against my skin. I dig my fingers into his back, writhing against him toward what I know is going to be an epic release.
“Oh fuck, Bri…” Jude whispers. “Fuck this feels good.”
“Yes.” The word comes out breathless.
“Are you gonna come for me, baby?”
Baby?
“Bri?”
“Soon.”
“Let’s come together. That would feel amazing.”
“Yes. Oh fuck, yes,” I whine. “Jude…”
“Come all over me, Bri. Make me feel you.”
“Ahh.” I’m reduced to mumbling and whimpers as I careen toward the finish line, begging my body to get there, to arrive at the same time Jude does, to mix our cum together. “Oh fuck. Ooooh, god, Jude. Ahhh.”
“Yes, baby. Fuck, Bri…”
He jerks against me, his breath jagged as cum spills out of him. I join him a second later, throwing my head back as Jude’s mouth sucks my Adam’s apple. I’m gasping for air like I just breached the water’s surface after nearly drowning. I was drowning. In Jude.
He slumps against me, gripping the island for balance. I reach down to my tummy and run my fingers through our shared release, gazing down at it like it’s some kind of life saving elixir. Just as Jude meets my eyes, I lick my fingers to taste us, and he groans. When he steps back, he leans on the counter behind him. We stare at each other, breathing hard for what feels like an eternity. I don’t know what’s going on in his head right now. I can’t read his face. Is he freaking out? Is he fine? Does he want more?
“Thank you,” he finally murmurs.
“Are you okay?”
He nods, his face still blank. “Yeah.”
“Not freaking out?”
He swallows hard. “Kind of freaking out that I’m not freaking out.”
I nod, feeling like I might understand. I give him the silence he seems to need as I wipe my hands on a nearby dish towel. We’re covered in cum, our boxers are around our feet, our dicks are hanging out, and I’ve honestly never seen anything hotter.
“I have a lot of things to say.” Jude’s voice is soft.
“I’m listening.”
“I…” He bends down and pulls his boxers up, so I do too. “Bri.” Shaking his head, he drags his fingers across his scalp. “I liked that.”
“What’s not to like?”
“I feel like…maybe…I don’t know myself like I thought I did.”
“It doesn’t mean you’re gay, Jude. It could just be…we’ve both been lonely. It was an opportunity.”
“I’ve lived with you for six months. There’ve been plenty of opportunities. This is not that. This wasn’t me using your body to get off.”
“I know.”
“You don’t. I didn’t know how to ask you for it last night.” His eyes are glassy with emotion. “I wanted that. Since we talked about it last night at the bar, I wanted to feel you like that.”
The intensity of his words, the sexy rasp of his voice, draws a hitched breath from me. “I wanted it too.”
“But?”
“I didn’t say that.”
Jude’s brow furrows. “I hear the hesitance in your voice.”
I nod, realizing he knows me too well for me to hold back. “I don’t mind being the one to help you explore. In fact, if you want that, I’d rather it be with me than with some random guy.”
Jude says nothing, gazing at me intently.
“I just want to be careful. I want to go slower…if we’re doing this.”
He blinks, his face shifting to one of understanding. “You’re right. I wasn’t expecting to want these things, and I’ve been impulsive assuming you want them too.”
God, his voice is killing me right now. How do I tell him that I want it too? I want more. I want to wake up next to him every day. I want him to make love to me and kiss me and hold me. I want fucking everything with him.
“I’m sorry if I’ve put you in a weird position,” Jude whispers, snapping me out of my fantasies.
“Oh, you didn’t. Nothing’s weird. It’s kind of wonderful.”
Jude studies my face for a few seconds. “Can I kiss you?”