“When are you not?”
Raina pretends to elbow me in the side, her skin barely grazing mine. “You’re not wrong there. Show me the goods.”
I chuckle. A woman who likes to eat is my kind of girl. I take her into the kitchen first, letting her dig into the cheese and bread I set up. Nothing fancy, but my mom did show me a trick or two back in the day when it comes to cooking and entertaining.
After our tour, we sit in the kitchen and stuff our face with cheese and bread.
“I have a hunch you know how to cook well.” Raina studies me as she pops a piece of cheese in her mouth.
“Why do you say that?”
She waves her arm in front of her at the trays of food. “Bread and cheese plates?”
I shrug. “My mom loved her bread and cheese plates. She liked to cook and throw parties.”
Raina’s eyes light up. “Really? That’s cool.”
“In some ways. There were nights when I thought the party would never end. I got used to it.”
“At least you learned valuable skills from it.”
I nod. “Good point. Besides, who doesn’t like bread and cheese?”
Raina laughs. “People with no taste buds. So what’s for dinner, chef?”
“Would I still be a chef if I said pizza?”
“Hell yeah. Pizza is hands down the best food and versatile. You can get super fancy.” Raina winks, her beauty shining through in every way. Her playfulness and teasing, her fun personality. I love all of it. She’s the complete package for me, and I can’t stop myself from falling for her, my emotions having a mind of their own.
Every second I spend with her is more enjoyable than the last, and suddenly, I want to taste her. Taking her head in my hands, I cup her cheeks, my thumbs grazing her skin.
She leans her head into one hand and grips the other with her own. Leaning in close, I capture her mouth with mine, stealing the taste I so desperately want.
The taste of her is delicious, intoxicating, and my tongue dances around her own, exploring and finding what we need from each other. I deepen the kiss, putting all I feel for her into the kiss, wanting to show her instead of tell her.
She kisses me back, slower and with more hesitation, as she takes her time. I give her what she needs while taking what I want, both of us lost in each other.
When she pulls away, we both gasp for air, but I’m not done yet. I want more. So much more. “We keep that up, we won’t even get to the pizza.”
Raina smiles. “Oh no, we definitely need the pizza.”
“I thought so.” I wink. “Would you like a drink?”
“Sure. What’s on the agenda for tonight? I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”
“You have?” I open the fridge and pull out a chilled bottle of wine, then grab the glasses I set out earlier on the counter. “Somebody likes me,” I flirt.
She giggles, her cheeks flushing. “Nah, I just wanted to see your place and eat your food.”
“A-ha, the truth’s revealed. I knew it was the food.”
“You got me there. Definitely the food.”
I pour us each a glass and hand her one. “I thought we could relax, eat an amazing meal of the finest pizza, and binge some movies.”
“Sounds like my kind of night.” Raina grins. “Now, where’s the pizza?”
After stuffing our faces with pizza, we collapsed on the couch and devoured the candy as we watched funny movies.
She snuggles in next to me, pressing her body up against my side. I love the feel of her against me, her shape fitting with mine.
I want to tell her so many things, and all the words sit on the tip of my tongue, yet fears bubbling under the surface stop me.
Just tell her how you feel.
Maybe she feels the same. Maybe you finally met the one person you’ve waited for.
I run my hand up her side and into her hair, playing with the soft strands. She turns her head, a smile playing on her soft, pink lips, and my eyes drop to them.
When she leans in closer, I take it as my cue, and I bring my mouth down to hers, tasting the sweet lips I can’t get enough of.
Deepening the kiss, I wrap my hands in her hair and groan, my cock thickening in anticipation. Fuck, she tastes so good.
When I pull away, my hands stay in her hair, not ready to release her yet.
Here’s my chance.
Just tell her how you feel.
“Raina… I…” I pause. “I think I’m falling for you.”
Her breath catches, but she says nothing, only biting on her bottom lip. “Dean…”
I kiss her before she says more, afraid of what I might hear. But she kisses me back, giving me the confidence to ask her what I’ve wanted to all night.
“I want to make things official between us, Raina. Will you be my girl?”
She blinks, but no words come.
Maybe I read her wrong after all…
“Yes, I will,” Raina whispers.
My heart beats hard in my chest. I want her in every way. Standing, I pull her up off the couch and lift her into my arms. She yelps and giggles, clasping her arms around my neck.
I carry her to my bedroom and feast on her body for hours, the only dessert I’ll ever need.
When I finally slip inside her, my world explodes, taking my heart along with it.
Chapter Eleven
Levi
“How do you feel about leaving today?” The hospital social worker watches me as she waits for my answer, her clipboard and pen ready for whatever gibberish she scribbles on there.
I stare back at her, thinking about everything except the answer to that question.
How do I feel?
I couldn’t explain it if I tried, barely able to understand it myself.
Shit feels weird.
I shrug, and she gives me a look, knowing it’s a bullshit answer.
“You don’t feel anything about leaving today? What about your plan to stay sober? Do you feel good about it, like you can stick to it?”
All her questions blend inside my too full brain, and I lean back in my seat, releasing a big breath. One that feels a lot like defeat. “I think so, yeah.”
Joanne narrows her eyes at me. I should just give her the answers she wants, but how can I when I don’t know them myself?
Thirty days stuck inside here drove me crazy, and I’m itching to get out. Itching for freedom.
Will I drink? I don’t know. It wasn’t easy becoming sober, so why waste all the effort I’ve put in?
The first few days here were pure fucking hell. The withdrawals sucked, and my head throbbed in a way it never had before. Anxious thoughts kept me awake and night sweats drenched the sheets, so I couldn’t sleep.
I hated myself and everyone who dared to come near me.
Only coming out for food or mandatory doctor checks, I avoided group sessions and activities. I stewed in my own shit.
The sad part is, I still do.
“What will you do if you feel like drinking?” Joanne asks, folding her hands in her lap.
“Call my sponsor. Or attend an AA meeting,” I answer, but will I? Will I do what I need to, or will I give in?
Why didn’t I feel sure?
Isn’t rehab the magical cure?
“And if those options don’t work?” Joanne clicks her pen, the noise bouncing off the walls of the compact room.