So much blood.
“Oh, my fucking God! What happened?” a loud voice shouts from somewhere behind me. Mable’s pulling me against her in less than a second, my body collapsing against hers in a sob.
Thank God, she’s here. Thank God…
“It’s bad, Mab, so bad…” I choke out, and Mable hugs me tight while rubbing my back.
“Levi was in an accident. He’s heading into emergency surgery, and they’re only letting me up for now. Take Raina to the cafeteria. I’ll meet you there as soon as I know more.” Drew speaks, but I’m not listening.
Levi. He wasn’t moving. Blood trickled down the side of his face. His body squished inside the car.
No… he wasn’t breathing.
“Rai, walk with me.” Mable slides her arm around my waist for support as she leads us out of the ER. “Let’s find somewhere to sit.”
“No, I need to see Levi, Mable. There was so much blood and…and…” I choke out the words between sobs while refusing to move any farther.
“You will, okay? Trust me.” Mable hugs me close and rubs my back as I cry into her shoulder.
This is all a nightmare, right?
It has to be.
Somebody wake me up. Please.
So much blood…
Levi…
Mable disappears in search of coffee, and as I watch her leave, the urge to see Levi grows stronger.
Tears sting my swollen, puffy eyes as they protest more.
I’m surprised there’s any left.
I need to see Levi. Make sure he’s okay and breathing. That he’s still here with us.
So much blood…
Barely breathing…
I shake my head in hopes to push the memories away. Devastating memories. The worst scene I’ve ever laid eyes on…
What if he didn’t make it?
I can’t breathe. Sobs pull at my chest, choking the air out of my lungs. Leaning my head between my knees, I inhale and exhale big gulps of air, hoping it helps.
But it doesn’t.
I pull my knees up to my chest and hug them tight, resting my forehead against them as more tears fall.
Why? Why Levi?
Blood everywhere. So much blood.
I should probably get my own knees checked out, the sharp pains telling me I definitely have some glass stuck in there.
But I couldn’t care less at this point. I need to see Levi.
“Rai? You okay?” Mable leans above me before she places two coffees on the table. She rubs my back and leans close. “I know it must be hard. I’m here for you, okay?”
I lift my head and nod. Mable takes it as her cue to slide into my booth, pushing herself as close to me as she can. Her arms wrap around me, and she pulls me tight against her just as she had before she got up. What would I do without her?
We say little as Mable sips her coffee while I ignore mine. The tears come and go, the time passing like hours instead of minutes.
Mable’s body tenses, and I look up to find Drew.
With one look at his face, I immediately know.
It’s bad.
He’s gone.
No, he can’t. Please tell me he’s not gone.
Drew sits across from us and rubs his hands through his hair, his eyes tired. He looks as if he aged ten years, and my stomach twists, my heart pounding so loud in my ears that my head’s ready to explode.
Mable reaches out and squeezes Drew’s hand, and when he looks up from the table, his eyes are wet, full of unshed tears. “It’s… fuck, it’s bad.”
I hear Mable’s sharp intake of breath, and my entire body freezes.
No. No.
So much blood.
“He just got out of surgery, so they haven’t let anyone see him yet. Luckily, I’m on his approved health form from his time in rehab, so the doctors will keep me updated. His father’s on his way too, but I doubt that’ll go over well.” Drew pauses and releases a breath before he continues. “He’s in rough shape. Collapsed lungs, broken ribs, a broken arm, and a head injury.”
Oh, my God…
“They don’t know the extent of the head injury just yet. They wanted to do the surgery first to stop the internal bleeding. Some of his organs were punctured when he smashed against the Jeep, which also explains the broken bones and collapsed lungs.”
Mable grips my hand, but I can’t move as I listen to Drew, his words only getting worse.
“After he came out of surgery, they put him into a medically induced coma. They’re running tests and doing more X-rays and an MRI. But they definitely detected swelling and even a possible brain bleed. He may need another surgery. They also said his blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit.”
Hot, salty water runs over my lips, and I reach up to touch my cheeks, not realizing my tears have started again.
My God, twice the legal limit?
When did he drink? As soon as he left?
Mable lets out a strangled noise beside me, only making my tears fall harder.
“Will… will he make it?” Mable asks the question I dare not ask. I can’t even bring myself to think it, never mind ask it.
Drew sighs, and his entire face falls. “They… they don’t know.”
No. No. No!
A bloodcurdling scream.
Loud and deafening.
My scream.
So much blood.
Levi…
I wake up with a start, sitting up fast and gasping for air. Machines beep around me, the stark white room unrecognizable.
Where am I?
“Rai, it’s okay. I’m here.” Mable’s voice drifts over me, and I turn to find her sitting in a chair next to the bed. “You fainted.”
What?
“I did?” I look around confused when suddenly it hits me.
Levi.
The accident.
So much blood.
It did happen. It’s real.
No…
I collapse back onto the bed in a heap of sobs. When will the pain end?
“I’m sorry, Rai. I’m so sorry.” Mable takes my hand, and we cry together.
“I just don’t understand…” I mumble through my sobs. “Did Drew tell you anything else?”
Mable shakes her head. “No. As soon as you went down, he ran for a nurse and got help. After making sure we were okay, he went to check on Levi.”
“I want to see him.”
“Maybe that’s not such a good idea, Rai.” Mable takes my hand in hers, but I pull it away.
“Why not?” I snap. How could she say that? I could never not see him.
“He may… he may not look much like himself. Why put yourself through that?”
“It’s not about me. It’s about Levi. I want him to know I’m here.”
With her eyes downcast, Mable nods, her face sad. “I get it. I just hate seeing you so hurt.”
“Thanks, Mab, but I have to do this.”
Mable smiles through her tears. “I know. Drew said he’ll come by when he knows more. Oh, and a nurse fixed up your knees. There was glass and dirt, a few cuts. Did they hurt?”
I shake my head and lean back again. Thoughts of Levi fill my head, and while I’m scared shitless to see him, I need to. I have to. How could I just walk out of here with my last memory of him squished in that Jeep? Fuck no.