It seemed accurate, although she'd never really considered it.
“Hmm, maybe more like seventy percent?” Aware he was wearing her down, he didn’t blink.
“No, Jake—stop pushing me! No—it's mostly because I want to!” Anxious tension overpowered the exhaustion. Her voice rose sharply.
Satisfied, he released her and flopped back on the bed. She let out a sigh of relief, hugging her knees to her chest. There had to be more—she felt it. It didn’t take long.
“What about that asshole, Nick? What the hell was he talking about?” He remained in a relaxed position, while his temper flared.
The rising hostility burned in her eyes. “I hate his guts.”
“That's it? After that we go way back shit, you hate his guts is all you can come up with?” Now the increasing agitation forced his body upright.
She glanced at his clenching fists, taking in the constricted muscles in his arms. Closing her eyes, she tensed.
“What happened with him Kristen? Tell me, or I swear I'll rip Logan apart until he does!” No longer able to control his anger, his chest rose and fell sharply with each labored breath.
She couldn't avoid his face when his hands gripped her shoulders. And then there was his thundering heartbeat—it was deafening.
Why does it matter anymore? I am too worn out from all the lies and games.
“He forced me to do things...” Chilled by the immediate despair and anger that contorted Jake’s face, her voice faded out.
The bed shook violently as he bolted out of it. “What the hell do you mean made you do things? What things? When?”
Her trembling increased. This is my only chance.
“That day we met, when I got home. That's one reason I left.”
Don’t tell him about the roofie incident, Kristen. Stay strong.
He squeezed her hands. “What things, Kristen?”
“Sexual things,” she whispered, cramming her eyes shut.
This can’t be happening again. “You mean... he raped you?”
His voice stayed emotionless, but his loud rapid breaths were terrifying.
Kristen's eyes widened in fear. She nodded, unable to say the word. This has to be another nightmare. Any minute I’ll wake up and everything will be fine.
Recognizing that look, he dropped her hands. He didn't speak, but his expression said it all.
“Jake please, that was a long time ago! I didn't want to tell you... I couldn't bear you getting locked up for this.” Unable to stand it anymore, she collapsed on the bed, incorrigible sobs wracking her body.
He stared at her, his face overcast with misery and saw nothing. In a black fog, the sound of her sobs echoed eerily in his ears. Fearing he was about to lose it, he took up a frantic pace back and forth.
Without warning, he sat next to her. It all came back to him now. It made perfect sense. “So that's how you got those bruises?”
Despite the softness in his voice, he had lost the battle to subdue his fury.
“Yes.” The word crept out between sobs.
I have to pull myself together before he storms out and goes after him. Struggling to control her convulsions, she sat up to touch his face.
“Jake please, promise me you'll forget about it. Please! I can live with what happened, but not with losing you!”
But he couldn't stop. “And Logan was there. He was part of it?” It was inconceivable and unacceptable. Then it dawned on him. “Was Nick involved in Ray's murder too?”
She couldn't breathe. Whatever words I choose will be the wrong ones! Swallowing repeatedly, she scrambled for a solution. But it was out of reach. She was mute.
It didn't make a difference. He knew the answer before he even asked the question. Slowly, taking her in his arms, he struggled to push the images of violence from his mind. Then his mother’s battered face entered his head and he knew it was futile. Rape was the one thing he would never be able to live with. He had to make them pay.
MONDAY
JAKE/KRISTEN
Things seemed to be going from bad to worse. Jake didn't mention Nick, but she couldn’t avoid the torment etched in his face every time she looked at him. His efforts to do the right thing, couldn’t fool her: the repressed need for revenge was destroying him. To make matters worse, Logan bombarded her with texts begging her to go his sentencing hearing. When Micky left a message regarding divorce papers that needed to be signed as soon as possible, she knew what had to be done. The easiest way would be meeting him for lunch after the hearing to avoid delay.
By the time Jake came home from work, her eyes were red and swollen from crying most of the day.
What the hell should I do? If I tell him my intentions, he’ll be furious. There was only one option: she had to be truthful. Lies and deception were the cancerous lesions that threatened to destroy their relationship.
They finished dinner and put the baby to bed. The uncomfortable coldness between them drove him crazy. Fumbling in his pocket with the ring he purchased earlier in the day, he psyched himself up to pop the question. With the divorce imminent, why not secure his position? It would ease his mind and the tension knowing they were engaged and would be married as soon as the damn divorce was out of the way. Most of all, it would be the only thing that would help quench his insatiable thirst for revenge.
On his third beer by the time she slid next to him on the couch, he was almost there. As she snuggled up to him, his stomach tied up in knots. When he pulled her closer, he felt her heart racing. Something wasn't right, the severe tautness in her body had nothing to do with desire.
“What's wrong?” He eyed her, unaware that his fingers had fallen from the ring.
“The sentence hearing is tomorrow; Micky needs to meet me at the courthouse to get some papers—”
“—You want to sit in court with him? You've got to be kidding me!” Mortified, he jolted upright.
“No! Not with him! Just to meet Micky. It'll be easier and make things go smoother.” Why does every conversation turn into a disastrous battle?
“It'll be easier when you forget that asshole exists and concentrate on us! I thought that's what we agreed, Kristen?” His voice boomed now, striking a chord of alarm in her.
“I know, but, I...” Everything she had prepared in her mind evaporated. Why does he always have this effect on me?
“But nothing. You know I don't trust that Micky bastard either. I still don't understand why you had to bring him into this.” His blood pressure zoomed, battling with the nice buzz he had from the beer.
It isn't working. I have to calm down before I blow up and do something stupid. Taking a deep breath, he crammed his palm to his forehead and began rubbing it.
“Jake, I promise, I'll just get the papers and leave. I thought I'd sit in on the hearing just to make sure he doesn't implicate me, but if you really don't want me to, baby forget it. My main concern now is making you happy.” She reached up to stroke his hair, her fingers lingering tenderly on his face.
What is this about? Is she finally giving in or trying to play me again? Perplexed, Jake squinted to scrutinize her, frowning at the unexpected look of compassion and sincerity in her eyes. “So you won’t be alone with him and he goes straight to prison afterwards?”