She nodded eagerly.
As he stared at her mulling it over in his head, he felt all his mental and physical strength dissolve. Whatever her reasons were, whatever was going on, held little relevance. It’s over, she won. Again.
Leaning in to kiss her, “What about Alex? I don't want him exposed.”
“Of course not. I'll leave him with Cassandra. I won't be gone for long.” Relieved they were compromising, her happiness shined through.
“You asked her already? Before talking to me?”
Her eyes fell on the throbbing veins in his forehead. He was flaring up again. There was no way she would allow that. Not anymore.
“No, of course not. But if she can't, I won't go, okay? I love you and don’t want you to be upset.”
There has to be peace in our hearts, I can’t let all this turmoil destroy us. That voice in his head was back. It seemed he could never silence it—or maybe he just never tried.
The desire to place the ring on her finger sparked in his mind, just as she slid onto his lap. With her eyes glued on his, she lifted her tank top and unfastened her bra. It was too late for Jake to turn back or be consumed by insecurities. In an instant he was devouring her, all thoughts of anything else but their lovemaking erased from his mind.
TUESDAY
The oppressive humidity hanging in the air saturated Kristen's skin as she entered the courthouse. Leaning back to the wall, she discovered pretending to be calm and impassive was out of the question. The huge door leading into the courtroom was closed, barring any view of Logan or Micky, assuming either of them were already inside. Fear held her back, preventing her from passing through that door and the onslaught of nervous tension made it impossible to stand still.
Alicia's offer to accompany her passed through her mind. Perhaps turning her down had been a big mistake. A distraction and some moral support wouldn’t have hurt. Too late for that now—she was in it alone.
8:00 a.m. The hearing calendar was scheduled to begin at 8:30, Logan’s case just one of many on a mile-long list. Do they enter from the hallway or a separate door? Her mind was on overdrive as she paced back and forth desperate to relax. Being one of the first to arrive and the lonely, empty hallway made it even harder to calm down. Thirty minutes seemed like an eternity.
As people streamed in, the hallway buzzed with the mixture of voices, footsteps, briefcases clicking open and closed. Several suited-up attorneys engaged with family members of defendants, victims, or their adversaries. No sign of Micky.
Her phone vibrated with an incoming text. Jake. She gulped, wondering if she should read it. A light tap on her arm startled her. Forgetting about Jake’s message, she put her phone away.
“Hey doll, you made it.” Micky shifted his weight from foot to foot scanning the area, the antsy behavior increasing her nervousness. When his briefcase thumped onto the glossy marble floor, she flinched.
“Where's Logan?”
His smile turned into a frown. “He should be inside already. They come in from the front of the courtroom.”
“Oh.” She fought to hide her disappointment.
“We can go inside. Maybe you can talk to him for a second.”
Hastily agreeing, she followed him to the door. The irritating sound of someone clearing their throat several times, followed by coughing made her look back. Nick shoved his way to the front of the line, stopping long enough to smirk at her. She twisted away, nauseated.
Micky stood in the back of the courtroom waiting for her, the curious expression on his face hard to overlook. For a minute Kristen was so rattled, she feared she would faint. Glued in place, she made a frantic search of the entire courtroom for Logan. Just as she was about to give up, his disheveled blonde head came into view. She stiffened, the air knocked out of her. As if sensing her, Logan turned back, his eyes locking on hers. With a deep breath to inflate her confidence, she straightened her spine and walked inside.
“I need to talk to him for a minute,” she mumbled to Micky without slowing down. He trotted after her as she weaved through people rushing to take seats.
Once in front of Logan, the tears stung her eyes the instant they landed on his shackled wrists.
I should be happy he’s suffering. Doesn't he deserve it for killing Ray, letting Nick rape me, for the countless times he cheated on me and made my life a living hell? It’s his fault I had the gun, his fault I used it, his fault Gina was there in the first place. If he hadn’t been screwing her…
She longed to hate him, so why couldn’t she? Instead, it broke her heart.
Puzzled by her silent stare, Logan’s eyes clouded.
“Logan...” She glanced at Micky.
Logan's eyebrows arched, his eyes questioning. The quirkiness was gone, his demeanor now sullen and serious. His body looked beaten down and defeated as it slumped before her.
“I hope everything turns out okay for you.” It felt so bizarre, her own voice was unrecognizable. She brought her fingers to her lips.
He couldn't draw his eyes from those lips, the need to commit them and everything else about her to memory, prominent in his mind. Emotions he thought died long ago, weakened him.
Love or lust? He had no clue. With a sigh, he realized it was kind of late for that now anyway. Unsure of how to respond, he gave her a weak nod, blinking back any evidence of tears.
Micky took her arm, a mystified expression on his face, as he directed her to a seat. Two seconds later the bailiff made the announcement. The judge entered the courtroom.
* * *
As soon as Jake made the decision to leave work early and head to the courthouse, his pulse raced from over speculation.
If only he knew for sure she was inside—but she never returned his texts and it was too late now.
The bad vibe strangling him, held him hostage. This would be her last opportunity to prove who she was truly devoted to. Nothing could stop him, he had to know for sure.
He scoped the area. There appeared to be one main exit from the courthouse. He had no idea what time the hearing ended, or, assuming both she and Nick were attending, if they were still inside. It was a chance he had to take. Aware there were metal detectors and check points inside the courthouse, he slumped next to a huge palm tree focusing on the staircase up to the entrance. Taking a deep breath, he felt for the knife in his pocket, checked his phone and waited.
The judge questioned Logan about different aspects of his sentence then asked if he understood it. All Logan could do was nod. After that, everything went as Micky predicted: the judge agreed to the plea bargain and it was finished in a matter of minutes.
Although Kristen’s legs were numb, she managed to lift herself from the seat, eager to escape. Logan appeared more lifeless than frightened, when a guard gripped his arm to impatiently lead him to his new home.
She wasn't fast enough to exit. Neither was Logan. When he crawled past her, they made eye contact. A severe burning in her throat when she swallowed trickled down into her chest. She didn't want to follow him out, but he continued staring back at her and she couldn't rip her eyes away from his. Before she could blink, he disappeared from her sight.
The nightmare is over, at least for the next year or so—if he manages to survive that long.
Micky waited for her in the hallway, still bewildered by the intensity of her interaction with Logan.