“Did you wanna stop and eat?”
“Eventually Alex will be released, Logan. I’ll have to pick him up.” She couldn't say what was really in her heart, the tears were too threatening. Her gaze held his, pleading.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Let's go somewhere for food.” He couldn't handle the issue, not yet. Possibly after a few glasses of wine.
In a daze, she followed him. The pain killers had eased the discomfort in her stomach, but in the back of her mind, she knew she had to be careful. Since she wasn't breast feeding, one glass of wine could provide the necessary additional mental and physical relief.
How could it hurt? Jake wouldn’t be there for a week or so. She needed to build up the courage to end it with Logan. And getting a buzz would make it that much easier to carry out her firm, final decision. After that the only problem would be sticking to it.
* * *
By the time she finished her first glass of wine her head danced. “I don't think I'm supposed to be drinking. I just remembered I've been taking these pain killers,” she giggled.
Logan, already flying from his third glass, looked at her without fully comprehending or caring to. “Does that mean you shouldn't have any more?”
She didn’t answer.
Holding his head steady, he took in her glazed, heavy lidded eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I guess, I am trying to remember, I think there's a bunch of stuff I can't do for a while.”
“Don't tell me sex is one of them?” He covered her hand with his, starting to forget how upset he was.
Her expression answered his question.
How could I have forgotten the discharge instructions? They are still buried in my bag, aren’t they? I better review them before it’s too late!
Impossible—her body throbbed from wine-induced sexual tension.
Logan let out a disappointed sigh, his eyes lifted to hers. Unwilling to control himself any longer, he gripped her face, kissing her with feverish passion. He didn't want it to end. With great reluctance, she broke the kiss, gasping for breath.
An hour later she disappeared into the restroom. He stood waiting for her when she exited.
“Are you sure you can't?” His hands fastened around her waist, holding her body so tight, her tremors sent shivers through his spine. When was the last time he held her so close, actually felt her body blending with his? It seemed like ages ago.
Her eyes smoldered, her skin tingled, the combination of liquor, meds and lust, taking over. “Yes, we can’t—”
The words were smothered by the intensity of his lips on hers.
JAKE
They lay on the couch, still wrapped in each other’s arms. Out of the blue Marty jumped up, mumbled something about having to go home, tomorrow being a work day. Didn’t he remember her telling him earlier? The sad truth was, he hardly remembered bringing her home with him, let alone anything she had said. As she hurried to dress, he watched through the corner of his eyes, his body mildly relaxed, but his mind not quite as healed as he wished. And the inevitable emptiness still existed.
“I'll walk you to your car.” His voice was soft but lifeless. A tiny smiled flickered across her face, but her eyes were clouded. The fire he'd desired hadn't ignited, she could probably sense it.
“Have you spoken to Kristen?” Marty asked when they reached her car.
It took him by surprise, the mention of her name made him shudder.
“Yeah,” he murmured, avoiding her gaze.
“Oh.”
He recognized the anguish in her eyes.
I need to try lying occasionally. It would make things easier.
After she opened the car door, he took her arms. “Thank you for tonight. I'll call you.” He stroked her hair, but his blank expression revealed the truth.
“Right.” She tried to smile, failed and kissed his cheek. “This probably was a big mistake, you know that, right?”
“Maybe, I’m leaving to Miami for business next week—”
“—Really, that's a coincidence, isn't it?”
“No, not really.” After a pause, “Marty, I have to be honest with you. If the baby is mine, there's a good chance we’ll get back together.”
Marty flinched. He touched her face. It was a gentle gesture meant to ease her distress. “If not, then I guess I'll be back... and, maybe we can make it work?”
She shook her head. “You know that won't happen, Jake. You're hooked, so go take care of your business, okay?”
When she turned to leave he stopped her. “I'm sorry. Friends then?”
Trying to smile once again, she whispered, “Forever. Too bad she doesn't realize how lucky she is to have you.”
Her words were unexpected. For a second he thought he saw tears in her eyes, until she shielded her face from his view.
He stood in silent contemplation watching her drive away.
FRIDAY
LOGAN/KRISTEN
Her head did flip flops, the combination of too much liquor, pills, fatigue and Logan all having an hallucinatory effect on her. Once again he had lost control, failing to keep his promise. And worst of all, she had given in to her own burning desires. Why did her flesh always win every battle with her mind, when it concerned Logan? The one consolation that somehow she prevented him from entering her, even in her intoxicated state, wasn’t enough to ease her fear and guilt. It was only a few days since the procedure and even though the post-op information was fuzzy, she did recall there could be some bleeding. She told herself the cramping was normal, the rigorous sexual activity hadn’t provoked it and there wasn’t any harm done to her body.
He was still asleep when she woke up.
How can someone who looks so gentle be so vicious? It never ceased to amaze her every time she looked down at his peaceful baby face.
It was 11:00 a.m., time for the baby's feeding. But she was still so dazed and dizzy, it would be a risk to drive. She attempted to wake him, shaking lightly at first, then increasing the ferocity. Nothing happened. He was still sound asleep. Without a solution, she called Alicia.
“Can you take me to see the baby?”
“Are you with Logan?”
Why did that question have to come up? It was embarrassing enough living with her weakness, even worse saying it out loud. “Yes. I can't wake him.”
She hated the sound of Alicia's loud exasperated sigh.
“Kristen! Did you sleep with him again?”
“No.” It was the truth—she hadn’t slept much. The irony of it brought tears to her eyes when she laughed. Or was it the pain? “Can you please? I wouldn't ask if I didn't need you.”
* * *
Alicia gave her a pitiful look as they entered the hospital. She hadn't seen anyone so consumed by a man since high school. The fact that It brought back painful memories, made it very scary.
“Why would you even consider having sex with him when the doctor said not to? Sweetie, I'm so worried about you, you know that?”
In an effort to control her jumbled emotions, Kristen clasped her hands together tightly. Recognizing that familiar severity in Alicia’s eyes, she decided to defend herself. “I had too much wine but at least we didn’t really have intercourse. Isn’t that good enough for you?”