‘Hi, are you Freddie?’
He had been so busy looking at his phone that he hadn’t spotted her come in. Like magic, there she was, looking exactly the same as her pictures, except for the big purple bobble hat on her head. God, it was cute.
‘Hi, Mia?’ Why was he asking? Of course she was Mia. Who else would she be?
‘It’s cold outside, right?’ she commented, taking off her mittens.
‘It might be getting colder. Could be snow at the end of the week,’ Freddie commented, feeling pleased with himself. He was doing proper small talk like a proper adult!
‘Have you ordered? Would you like me to get us something?’ Mia asked.
Freddie wasn’t sure what he should say. If this were a date, shouldn’t he be the one ordering? Or was that a sexist presumption? He clasped his hands to his thighs to stop himself from wringing them together.
‘A latte?’ he asked, worried that his voice now sounded weird.
He watched Mia at the counter, waiting her turn to order the coffee. She seemed so sweet and sparkling.
She returned with two lattes, one for him and one for her.
‘Can you believe how long this winter is lasting?’ she commented. More small talk about the weather? That didn’t seem like a good thing.
‘Yeah . . .’
‘I mean, I know that it’s meant to be global warming, and it’s only February, but it would be nice to get a little bit of warm sunshine, you know?’
Freddie tried to focus on keeping his hands steady as he spooned some sugar into his coffee. He didn’t want Mia to see how nervous he was.
‘So have you been on many online dates?’ Mia asked.
‘No, actually. This is the first.’
‘Really? Just come out of a long relationship or something?’
‘Or something,’ Freddie conceded.
He suddenly had a memory of preparing to read something out loud for a school presentation, and of his dad coaching him on it the night before. It was probably Year Nine, possibly a book review of Animal Farm or Lord of the Flies. He could hear his dad’s voice in his head, encouraging him to ‘speak slowly’ and ‘make sure you look up when you’re talking, and to make occasional eye contact’. It had been good advice, gentle and careful, but when he’d rehearsed in front of David later, his older brother had made fun of him for having Hannibal Lecter eyes. The next day, when he’d delivered his report in front of the class, he’d been too nervous to look up at anyone and was scored low for his presentation skills.
Now, as he stirred his coffee, he was struggling to work out how to look up and meet Mia’s eyes without it seeming too overthought and creepy. So instead he stayed focused on the drink and chewed on his lower lip.
‘I’m going on a lot of dates,’ Mia told him. ‘It’s my new year’s resolution, actually. I’m trying to go on at least one date a week. It’s not easy either. Sometimes I’m busy, and sometimes there’s nobody I want to meet up with, but so far so good.’
‘So, you’ve been on six dates already this year?’ Freddie asked.
‘Seven actually. One week there were two.’
‘Wow.’ Freddie didn’t know what to make of that. It had taken so much effort, so much courage, to do this one thing, and it was nothing to Mia. A drop in the ocean.
‘Nothing’s worked out yet, but it’s still fun. It’s more about just putting myself out there, you know?’
Freddie understood it, but realised then that he had been hoping that she was going to be just as nervous as him. That this could somehow be an adventure they could embark on together. He tried to smile through the disappointment.
‘So you work in finance?’ she asked.
Was she starting all of the conversations, or was he just imagining it?
‘Yeah, well, actually,’ he started, inwardly cursing himself for the tiny white lie on his profile, ‘I work for a finance company. In the IT department.’
‘Oh, well that’s nice,’ Mia replied.
‘It’s interesting. And I get to meet lots of people in the office. Plus I don’t have to wear a suit or anything, which makes life easier.’
‘I hate dressing up too. Much prefer the casual look. Luckily my place is very much a dress-down type of thing.’
He went to sip his coffee, which was still far too hot, but he drank it anyway, praying that he wasn’t inadvertently burning his tongue.
‘I work in fashion,’ Mia continued, before Freddie realised that she had been waiting for him to ask.
‘Really?’
‘Well don’t sound so surprised,’ Mia joked.
‘Oh no, I wasn’t surprised! I guess . . . I thought that you maybe didn’t look like a fashion type?’
Oh no . . . what am I saying?
‘What, tall and skinny?’
‘No!’
‘Fashion isn’t all glamazon models and designer labels, you know. Where I work is pretty low-key, high-street-type stuff. I do marketing.’
‘I wasn’t implying—’
‘I’m sure you weren’t.’
A beat of silence as Freddie took another painful sip.
‘Oh come on, I was joking! You knew I was joking, right?’
‘Oh, yeah, joking, of course!’
‘I’m only teasing you,’ Mia said, watching him closely as she took another sip of her drink. ‘So, do you enjoy your job then?’
‘It’s all right. Pays the bills.’
‘Well, that’s good, I guess.’
Freddie spotted Mia sneaking a look at her watch before glancing up and around the shop lazily. Anywhere but at him. He imagined going to the next meeting, of being confronted with everyone, and telling them it was a disaster, and that it was all his fault. That he was a useless human who had no idea how to make conversation.
Freddie would be the last virgin left alive.
Unless he did something about it.
‘Sorry,’ he started, fighting a nervous stutter. He didn’t dare look at Mia whilst he said it, didn’t even know if she was paying him any attention. ‘I’m not used to doing this. Any of this. I’m really nervous.’
‘Oh, it’s OK,’ she replied, ‘dating is tough.’
‘I’m here on a bit of a challenge actually. I’m trying to get out of my shell a bit. I’m sorry if I’m coming across a bit weird or anything.’
‘It’s fine, really.’ He noticed that she didn’t contradict him about being weird. ‘I mean, I’ve got a confession too. This whole “one date a week” thing? It’s because I broke up with my boyfriend at the end of last year. Just before Christmas. And, well, this is one way of getting my revenge. But the truth is, I’m still really into him. Does that even make sense?’
After Freddie gave her a quizzical but curious look in response, Mia explained further: ‘We had been together for just over three years, and I could tell that he was off at our three-year anniversary, but if anything, I thought he was being weird because he wanted to propose, not because he wanted to break up with me. Then he comes out and says this thing, this really horrid thing. He says that he thinks he can do better than me. Can you believe it?’