“You’re not alone, Jeremy.”
“Yes, I am.” He peered over at me with red teary eyes. “Who do I have? My grandma? She’s getting old. My father is dead. My mother is dead. My uncle is dead. Krishna? I only get to see her when you allow her to come around. Who else? You? I’m not your burden, Amell. You’re only around out of obligation to my mother.”
His words caved my chest in. At the snap of my fingers I had men ready to defend my honor. My name brought fear. My reputation gave folks nightmares. But I had a seventeen-year-old that I vowed to care for and failed. Spoiling JD came from me not ever wanting him to go without or being bullied in school. I dealt with kids picking on me because of my clothes and where I stayed.
JD would never go through that, I made that promise not only to him but to myself.
“I’m here because I want to be here, Jeremy. I love you like you came from my damn nuts. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” I promised.
With a heavy, sad heart I watched him cry. Watched him sob in his arms.
His whole aura felt off. I never, ever seen JD cry like this since his mother died.
Never have I seen him look so defeated. Look so much like…
“Who did this to you?” I questioned ready to kill whoever so much as looked at him funny.
JD stiffened. His cries began to slow down until he completely stopped.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it myself.” A red damn flag.
I’ve been down this road before. His whole demeanor screamed for me to help him, and I did, but I needed JD to tell me what was going on.
“Nesh and I were good friends before she was your mother.” I spoke, flicking my nose. Going down this road of emotions had me on edge. “I gave your mother my word that I’d always protect you, Jeremy. I gave her my word the day you were born that she’d never have to worry about you because I had you. Your battles aren’t always meant to fight alone.”
Krishna’s words from this morning echoed in my head. She went off saying that I needed to accept her place in my life. Accept that she was my helpmate who wanted to help me. After our night strolling the aisles of Walmart, I barely spoken to her. It fucked me up that she felt joy cruising through a supermarket. Regular women wanted dates at Ruth Chris and steakhouses. I took my Gazelle to fucking Walmart.
All my Gazelle wanted was me. Just me and however much time I had to give.
“Did somebody do something to you, Jeremy.”
He never held eye contact. He never answered my first question. He looked like he been in one hell of a fight.
“JD, I’m not above going out to that school and beating some racist spoiled cracka’s ass.”
J laughed but I was dead serious. “I’m good. I promise, Uncle Amell.”
“Promise that you’ll come to me if something is wrong? I don’t care what it is.” I held out my pinky and JD frowned. “My nieces make me do it when I promise to take them somewhere. A natural habit. Just because we don’t share the same blood doesn’t mean anything to me. I love you kid, and I will always protect you. You’re my family too.”
JD’s eyes stayed on my hand before he exhaled and locked pinky’s. “I should be asking you what happened and if you need my help.” He tapped my cut-up fist.
That night I got called away from Krishna, I rushed to the hospital to see what was going on with my nephew Cashton, Cassian’s son. Apparently his stupid ass wanted some pussy from his maid and instead of waiting until his son went to sleep or even waited for Noelani to pick him up, he lost all logic and left his son to be watched by not one rottweiler but two.
He barely knew his son for a month and already he was about to kill the boy. When I found out that Cashton had an asthma attack that ended up with him being hospitalized because of what my brother did, I lost it. I’m not sure how much time passed as I beat my brother on that hospital floor, but I showed him the same mercy that he gave his son.
So much had been going on with my family. Every day, week after week, month after month, some shit was going down.
“Life’s been hard, kid.”
“I know.”
“Why don’t you go hang out with your Uncle Roosevelt? You like fishing with him, don’t you?” JD stiffened and damn near stopped breathing. He kept blinking, looking everywhere but at me. “You good? Something wrong with him?”
“He-He...he’s in prison. Got picked up on some robbery charges about a week ago.” Whatever had JD skittish, I hoped he found trust in me to tell me. I know he said he’d take care of his issues, but something told me to follow his tracks. All I know is if somebody hurt him, God have mercy on their soul.
Chapter 13
Krishna
Life played unfair games. Watching my best friend curl up in a ball on her bed and wail for her son to be returned. Listening to her plead and beg for Cassian to get Cashton back home and safe after he had been taken from the hospital. I expected to spend almost every day on the beach drinking Mimosas in my thong bikini. All I had done since I came back was spend time with Amell whenever he had a free moment and be there for Noelani.
Finding out that Mason took Cashton and then used it as his way of committing suicide, my friend was barely hanging on by a thread. I admired her strength to be there for her son, but I knew deep down she was hurting. When I felt like complaining because of Amell, I remembered her pain and counted my blessings.
Amell ghosted me for three days and instead of worrying sick about him, I accepted my father’s invitation to accompany him in Paris. When I realized Amell wasn’t coming back after he got that emergency phone call, I stopped being a coward and reached out to my father. David was staying on the compound and I knew when my father checked in with him that he’d know I was here, in Florida.
So, I called and within an hour I had my unpacked bags being carried on the family's jet. When he boarded, I was surprised that my mother wasn’t coming along. He said that our father-daughter trip had been in the making and it was well overdue.
We ate, laughed, and became tourists in the city of love. I’ve always said that my father had a brilliant mind and he reminded me of that while on our trip. We did everything I wanted to do. The trip kept my mind off of Amell…kinda. I knew he had a lot of family issues going on, so I gave him space. No nagging or anything. Sadly, I felt closer to him when I was in Cali than being here in the same state.
One of the best moments on the trips happened right by the Eiffel tower. We had a few hours before we were set to leave, and he surprised me. He apologized. I don’t mean his normal apology; I mean a real deal apology that brought tears to his eyes and made my own flow.
He expressed that his one and only goal as a father had been to protect me. I was his only child who he loved more than anything in the world, and if he had to send me across the country to be protected then he would do it all over again.
Right before I started the ugly cry, I blurted out that I had fallen in love with a man who gave me the entire solar system. He didn’t settle for the moon and the stars; he gave me everything beyond that. I confessed to being in love with the man he groomed to be like him and how I hoped he gave his blessings.
We both stood there out in the open in tears and hugged up like two emotional fools. I never seen my father cry, but he said that he was afraid that he had lost me because of his overbearing need to protect me. He thought he had pushed me away and I had to remind him that I had grown since being a rebellious teenager.