I followed her stare and saw Hayden and Blake blocking the line. What now? I was stunned into stillness as Hayden strode toward me, awaiting my doom.
“Get away from her,” he sneered at me, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.
“What? No!”
“You’re not allowed to have friends. I see you two became too cozy and already inseparable. I won’t let you have it.”
“Why, Hayden? Why do you butt into my life? I have the right to have friends and—”
He grabbed me by my shoulders, and I recoiled, gasping. His pine tree scent was mixed with the smell of cigarettes and alcohol once again, but he wasn’t drunk. Yet. Either way, drinking so early on a school day wasn’t normal at all.
“Didn’t we already have this conversation? You forgot what I told you then. Y ou have no freedom. You’ll stop being friends with Jessica, and only then you’ll be able to eat here in peace.”
I frowned when I looked at Jessica’s ashen face. She didn’t take her eyes off of Blake, who was now standing right in front of her with his arms folded across his chest. He looked like he got bent out of shape, his corded muscles shaking with accumulated tension. It was a disaster waiting to happen.
I moved my gaze back to Hayden, seeing red. When does it end?
He made my life miserable. I was so small—smaller than a pea—not able to speak for myself or defend myself when needed. I always ran away, and the more I ran, the less I could escape. I became a coward, trying to hide behind the shell I’d built for myself over the years so people wouldn’t hurt me, but they did. Oh, they hurt me so much.
Hayden was above them all. He scared me so much that I couldn’t get away from him even in my dreams. I dreamed of him embarrassing me, hurting me, destroying me. I would wake up disoriented, glad that it was just a dream, only to realize it wasn’t. I would get up, dress, and go to school where the nightmare was going to happen.
I can’t live freely.
He was taking everything away from me.
There were so many reasons to hate him, so many reasons to finally snap, despite being terrified of him. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Blake grab Jessica by her upper arm to keep her in place and murmur something in her ear.
“You’re sick,” I hissed at Hayden.
His nostrils flared. “What did you say?”
“You’re sick and twisted.”
Something flared in his eyes, and he wasn’t composed anymore, his blank face becoming a mask of fury. I was shocked at how fast his emotions changed, like from zero to hundred, as if someone had pressed his button. I stood frozen in fear, unable to do anything but wait for a disaster to happen.
Was he going to finish what he started on Saturday? Would he strangle me in front of all these people?
No, he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t be that deranged. He couldn’t hurt me when all these people were watching us. There were many witnesses, so this was my chance to voice my thoughts.
I’d just met Jessica, and however unbelievable it felt, we were getting to know each other better every day. I didn’t want to lose this chance. This might be my last chance to have a friend.
“And no. I won’t stop being friends with Jessica. I’m fed up with you controlling my life. As I told you two months ago, I’m not your puppet. Screw you!” My heart beat too fast, blood pumping in my ears, but it felt good. It felt liberating.
I returned his gaze, feeling like I’d entered a completely different reality because we stared each other down and I didn’t back out. His eyes ate me alive as he sized me up, his heated gaze creating a strange, tingling sensation inside of me, and I couldn’t breathe.
I felt an unusual pull toward him, which was difficult to resist. There was no one else here but us. The time stopped. He was too close now...
What the hell is going on?
This isn’t good.
I have to get out of here.
I finally snapped out of the enchantment, coming back to reality.
I was seriously dead now. I had to run away.
Still on my adrenaline wave, I gripped Jessica’s hand and pulled her to the exit. We left the lunchroom, running like our life depended on it, looking over our shoulders to make sure no one was after us. I could almost feel Hayden dashing after us and catching me, my back and neck tingling in dreadful anticipation. He would grab me from behind any moment and make me pay for disobeying him...
Only, he didn’t. Nobody chased after us as we ran through the deserted halls, trying to get far away from the cafeteria.
We stopped only when we reached the library, which was mostly empty, to my relief. I led Jessica to one of the tables in the far corner, and we sat down across each other. I jolted when I caught sight of her face at last. It was wet from tears, her eyes closed firmly.
“Jessica...” I paused with my hand in midair, wanting to touch hers, but I felt insecure. If I touched her, would I invade her personal space? Did she need my comfort? What if she recoiled and scooted away?
Stop it, Sarah. You’re fretting over nothing. Just do what you think is right.
And I did it. I held her hand, and when I realized she wouldn’t get upset, I hugged her because I could see this was what she needed. She needed someone to hold her and calm her down. It was weird hugging her like this, but it was also nice. I could finally be there for someone—I could finally be strong for somebody else—and that did make me feel stronger.
“I’m sorry for being such a mess.” She sniffed.
“Don’t worry. You’re not a mess. Actually, I would rather cry myself, but I’m still in shock.”
Her jaw dropped. “You’re crazy! How on earth did you disobey him? You were so brave back there!”
My cheeks warmed half from embarrassment, half from pride. It felt great to stand up for myself, even if it meant I was dead the next time my bully caught me.
“I wasn’t brave, and I’m still terrified. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
She squeezed my hands in support. “For what it’s worth, I think you were amazing.”
My grin was huge. “Thank you.”
“No, I should thank you . I was a coward because I thought about running away as soon as Blake said he was going to punish me for hanging out with you. I thought you were going to ditch me, and I was so scared of Blake that I almost left you...”
She started crying again, which attracted a few glances from others in the room, so I had to remind her that we had to be quiet.
“Hey, it’s okay now.”
“I’m so sorry, Sarah. You’ve been such a nice friend so far, and I’ve done nothing in return. Will you forgive me? I promise not to be a coward again, even if Blake and Hayden do something to separate us.”
I winked at her. “Everything is forgotten.”
We got out of the library after Jessica bucked up, ready to go to our next period.
“Just so you know, Hayden and you looked way different back there,” she said. I halted, bemused.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it was kind of hot.”
I blushed, looking away. “Hot?”
For some reason, my heart rate skyrocketed, and I hated my stupid reaction. I had to pull myself together.
“Yeah, but don’t get me wrong. I know he is the incarnation of the devil, but the way you looked at each other there...”