“You’re breaking my heart, honey. I know exactly what you’re feeling, and I know it’s not easy.”
I opened my eyes and looked up at her. “You know how I feel?”
She nodded. Her eyes were glassed over and she lightly sniffled. “Three years after I had Remy, I got pregnant.” She closed her eyes. “I lost it when I was nine weeks. I hadn’t even told Remy’s father we were going to have a baby.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I didn’t tell you that to feel sorry for me. I told you that so you’d know eventually it gets better. You find another future that fits just as good as the one you were planning to build.”
I didn’t have much of a future anymore. “I don’t want a different future.” I wanted the one I had dreamed about with Jay.
“Sometimes, in life, we don’t have choices, honey. This is one of those times.” She sighed. “Take your time to grieve. You need that. But you also need to know things will get better. You’re in one of the darkest times of your life, Delaney. Don’t shut out the people who care about you.”
“I called my mom,” I blurted out.
A smile spread across Meg’s lips. “Good. Lean on whoever you want right now. That’s why you have family. They’re the ones who are there when you need them the most.” She leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Don’t push away the ones who love you. There are more of them than you think.”
She slipped out of the room and kept the door open a crack.
I could hear people talking downstairs, and I strained to hear Jay’s voice.
Was he still here?
Or had he already left me?
*
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jay
“What in the blue devil?”
My eyes snapped open, and I jackknifed up. “Who are you?”
“Who am I?” a woman snapped. “I think I need to know who the hell you are?” She flipped on the light, and I saw a woman who looked similar to Delaney.
Her mom was home.
She looked around the living room, and her eyes landed on Harlyn and Remy sleeping in the recliner. “Why the heck is part of the Cummings Racing pit crew in my living room?” she demanded.
“Susan?” Remy asked sleepily.
Wait, Remy knew Delaney’s mom? How the hell did he know her and I didn’t? And how did Delaney’s mom know what the Cummings Racing pit crew was? Delaney knew absolutely nothing about racing so I figured her mother wouldn’t either.
“Did I walk into the wrong house?” she looked around and shook her head. “Nope, that’s my crummy couch Jay is sleeping on. Where is Delaney?”
Remy flipped down the footrest on the recliner and woke up Harlyn.
“Someone talk to me,” Susan demanded. I think that was what Remy called her.
“I’m with—” I started but was cut off by Delaney’s voice from the top of the stairs.
“Mama, I’m upstairs.”
Susan looked at the stairs and then back at us. “Well, it’s good to know I’m not in the wrong house, but that doesn’t explain why everyone else is here.”
“Come up here, and I’ll explain everything,” Delaney called.
Susan glanced at Remy and Harlyn once more, but her eyes landed on me and didn’t move. “I think I know why you’re here,” she whispered.
She couldn’t possibly know about Delaney and me. Delaney had told me she planned on telling her mom about the baby when she got home from her work trip.
Susan climbed the stairs slowly, leaving Remy, Harlyn, and me downstairs.
“You don’t know who that is?” Remy asked softly.
I shook my head. “I’ve got a pretty strong feeling it’s Delaney’s mom, but I don’t know how the hell you know who she is.”
Remy shook his head and put his arm around Harlyn. “You really need to open your eyes and look at the people around you, Jay. That’s Christy’s home nurse. Brooks’ mom?”
I looked at the stairs, and it all came together. “Small fucking world.”
Remy nodded. “Sure the hell is. I didn’t know Delaney was her kid until she was standing here,” he chuckled.
This was not the way I wanted to meet Delaney’s mom. Delaney had told me her mom wouldn’t be home until towards the middle of July, but something must have changed.
Delaney must have called her.
While I was downstairs willing to do anything she wanted or needed, Delaney had called her mom to be with her.
I was here, and she didn’t want me.
*
Delaney
Mom followed me into my bedroom and shut the door behind her. “You got a lot of explaining to do, girl, but I need to know if you’re all right.”
I gingerly sat down on the bed and sighed. “Uh, I’m told I’ll be all right eventually.”
“Delaney, tell me what the hell is going on.”
“Sit down, Mama,” I said quietly.
A feeling of dread settled over the room, and I could tell my mom felt it. She pulled out the chair under my desk and sat down. “What is going on, Delaney?”
I closed my eyes and felt the tears coming already. I had managed to stop crying long enough to walk to the top of the stairs, but my sadness was still heavy and consuming.
“I was in the hospital tonight. I miscarried around one o’clock and had a D&C done to help prevent infection.”
“Delaney,” she whispered.
I opened my eyes but couldn’t see my mama through the tears streaming down. “Jay and I were going to have a baby but something happened.”
I heard her audibly sob, and then, I was gathered in her arms. “My sweet, sweet girl,” she whispered. “Shh,” she soothed me.
Mama rocked me in her arms, and my tears kept falling. “I’m sorry, Mama,” I sobbed.
“Don’t say that, honey. Don’t tell me you’re sorry. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m so sorry, honey.” Her arms were tight around me, and I could tell she was trying to give me her strength.
“I know I’m young, and Jay and I didn’t know each other for forever or were even married, but I really wanted the baby, Mama. I wanted the baby,” I sobbed.
“Oh, my Delaney. My smart and straight-shooting girl with the soft heart. I know you wanted the baby. I’m sure the second you found out you were pregnant, you had it all planned out in your head.”
I did. I really did have it planned out. At least, the part about the baby. I had no idea what Jay was going to do when I told him, but even if he had laughed in my face and told me to go away, I knew the baby and I would have been okay without him.
Now I didn’t have a baby, and there wasn’t going to be a Jay and me anymore.
Mama brushed my hair back from my face and looked at me. “You’re okay physically?” she asked softly.
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. It was pretty painful with the cramping but I’m okay now.” I was sore, but I knew that would go away in a day or two. “I just feel empty.”