Hell, I had slept through her getting out of bed.
“Don’t look so upset. She didn’t wake me either.”
I scrubbed my hand down my face. “I would have helped her.” I leaned forward, rested my elbows on my knees, and held my head in my hands. “I just want to help her, Susan.”
Susan sat down on the bed. “I do too, honey, but I don’t think you know Delaney as well as I do. While she’s smart as a whip and straight to the point with most things in her life, her feelings are something she struggles with. Don’t get me wrong, she figures things out eventually, but there’s always a time where she flounders around unsure of what she wants and feels.”
“She doesn’t need to wonder what I feel about her. Nothing has changed. I wanted to be with her when she was pregnant, and even now when we aren't going to have a baby, I still want her. It may have just been two weeks, but I know, Susan. I know what I want, and Delaney is it.”
“Then go home, get some rest, and come back in the morning.”
“I don’t need to leave. I can sleep on the couch,” I insisted.
Susan shook her head. “You need to give her a little room, Jay. You need to let her be alone for a little bit. Even I’m going to let her be when she gets out of the shower.” She looked around the room and sighed. “When I lost her father, the only thing that truly helped was time. Time to heal and time to move on.”
“I’m not moving on from Delaney,” I insisted. If I left, Delaney was going to think I didn't care. She was going to think I didn’t want to be there anymore.
Susan laughed. “You know, I never talked to you before this, but I heard many stories from Frankie and Brooks about you. The man you are right now is not what I expected at all.”
“I was an idiot in all of those stories you heard about me.” I shook my head. “I didn’t have anything worth living for besides drinking and partying.”
“And now my daughter is your reason for living?”
I nodded. “Yes. I fell in love with your daughter these past two weeks, and even though we lost the baby, that doesn’t change my love for her. I wasn’t in love with her because she was having my baby, I was in love with her for her.”
“Does Delaney know you love her?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I thought I had time to tell her. I didn’t want to scare her away.”
Susan patted my knee. “I think the last two days prove to you that time is fleeting. Delaney is going to push you away until you tell her how you feel. Right now, she thinks she’s a burden on you.”
“She’s not,” I thundered,
Susan stood up and looked down at me. “I understand that, Jay.” She hitched her thumb over her shoulder toward the bathroom. “Now you need to convince her of that.”
*
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Delaney
“Looks like Mave is here.”
I looked up from the book I was reading. Jay had just left, and I was trying to lose myself in a book. It wasn’t working, but I was trying.
Mom was standing by the window watching Mave get out of her car. “Want me to get you a snack or something?”
“Queso and pretzels?” Yes, I was still craving all the crazy things I ate when I was pregnant.
It was Sunday, and it had been three days since my world had been completely flipped upside down. Jay came to see me every day. Sitting with me for most of the day without talking, but just being with me. It was nice to have him here, but there were just so many questions I had for him. I just couldn’t seem to get the questions out, though. I was afraid of the answers he would give even though I knew what they would be.
Mave knocked on the door, and I jumped up to open it.
“Hey,” she said softly. “I came over to check on you.”
I opened the door wide and motioned for her to come in.
“Hi, Mave,” Mom called from the kitchen.
“Hi, Susan. Did you by chance get a tan while you were in Florida?
Mom tsked. “Hell no, girl. I melt if I’m in the sun for too long.”
I sat back down on the couch and tossed my book next to me.
Mave sat in the recliner and had a huge smile plastered on her face. “You’re looking good too, Delaney.”
“I guess lounging around agrees with me,” I laughed.
“It sure does. It’s good for healing.”
Mom walked in with a full plate and set it on the coffee table. “Fluffy nut crackers,” she sang.
Mave’s eyes bugged out. “Uh, say what?”
I laughed and grabbed one of the crackers. Another one of my cravings that now was something I liked to eat all of the time. “Peanut butter and fluff on a cracker,” I explained.
Mave laughed. “I think you guys need to come up with a better name for them.”
Mom grabbed a cracker and headed up the stairs. “I need to finish unpacking my bags and do a couple loads of laundry. Yell if you guys need anything.”
Mave grabbed a couple of crackers off the plate then sat down on the couch next to me. “Can we cut through all of the awkward talk and just get straight to it?”
I popped a cracker in my mouth. “I’m not sure I like that idea.” I hadn’t really talked to anyone. I was firmly living inside my head, and I was okay with that.
“When I was married to Dale, I got pregnant. I lost the baby when I was twenty-nine weeks.”
Her words hung heavily in the air.
“I had the nursery painted, a name picked out, and we knew we were having a boy. Dustin should be ten this year. I lost him two months and three weeks before his due date.”
My mind went blank, and I had no idea what to say.
“Dale was such an ass after it happened, too.” She laughed flatly. “I mean, he was always a dick so I shouldn’t have been so surprised, but I was.”
“I’m sorry, Mave.”
“Thanks, honey. It’s been a while since it’s happened, but it’s still hard to talk about.” She turned and looked at me. “Just like I know it’s hard for you to talk about losing your baby.”
“I…what…I can’t even imagine being that far along and losing the baby.”
She smiled sadly. “Right? Normally, after you make it past that magical three month mark, you’re good to go.” She shook her head. “Dustin died because I had an incompetent cervix. My cervix thinned, and I dilated eleven weeks before my due date. Dustin was gone before I could even get to the doctor.”
“Oh, my God, Mave.” I launched myself across the couch and wrapped her in a hug. “I’m so sorry.” I was such as ass for sitting here acting like the world had ended. What happened to me wasn’t near as bad as what happened to Mave. I had only been to the doctor one time and hadn’t even really started to think about names or even if the baby was a boy or a girl. She had everything planned out all the way down to the nursery put together and a name.
“Oh, Delaney,” she laughed sadly. She pulled out of my arms and wiped the tears from her eyes. “I didn’t tell you all of that for you to feel sorry for me. I told you that so you would look at me and see that even though what’s going on now is horrible, things get better. Time has a way of healing you without even noticing.”