“Th-Th-That’s amazing,” Kevin said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and glanced away. “He’s s-so thoughtful.”
“I just wish I could buy him something expensive too. All my gifts are pretty cheap compared to his.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t care about that, Sar,” Jess told me with a smile and pushed her curls from her face.
Just like me, she was dressed in a tight dress that reached her mid-thighs. It was completed with high heels and a multi-layered necklace with heart pendants.
I glanced at the cute silver bracelet with flower charms that adorned my wrist. It was Melissa, Jessica, and Kevin’s birthday present. “He said the same thing. He doesn’t care what it costs, but still, I want to surprise him sometimes.”
“Maybe you can soon,” Mel said. “You started doing commissions, and you’re doing great so far.”
Her words weren’t far from the truth. I had a lucky start when I announced I was open for commissions to my followers. Many people had contacted me, much to my disbelief, and asked for drawings of their pets or themselves, and I was overwhelmed with such a positive response. For once, I was able to earn money doing something I loved. I was getting closer to making my dream of becoming a professional artist come true, and the feeling was indescribable.
“I hope so.”
The band started playing another cover song from Imagine Dragons, which caused a new wave of excited shouts and screams. More teenagers joined the others who were already dancing.
“Okay, let’s dance,” Mel said and motioned to us to follow her.
“I’ll stay here a bit longer because my feet are killing me in my heels,” Jess said.
“I’ll stay with her,” I told them and took a seat with Jess on the couch. “Have fun.”
Mel saluted us and shimmied across the floor with Kevin tailing her. Amused by her childish antics, I looked across the living room to where Hayden sat with Masen, Blake, and Steven. Our gazes clashed. I turned completely hot when his eyes raked my body. His sensual lips quirked up into a seductive smile before he took a drag of his cigarette and sent the smoke twirling up in the air.
“Sometimes I envy you,” Jess told me.
“Why?”
“Because you have someone who looks at you that way.” Her blue eyes turned soft, gazing between Hayden and me like she was awestruck. “You can see from a mile away how much you love each other.”
I smiled back at her. “You’ll get that one day too. You’ll have that person who will look at you the same way Hayden and I look at each other.”
“How?” Her brows furrowed, and she blushed. “I’m stuck.”
“What do you mean?”
She glanced at where Hayden was sitting. I followed her gaze to Blake, who was talking to a girl next to him. “I made a mistake. I knew it was dangerous to let him get under my skin. And I really hated him. But then I saw a different side of him, and before I knew it, I was trapped. I hate it. I hate him for doing all those cruel things to me, but I can’t help but want to know what is behind it. What is the reason for his behavior?”
I studied Blake as I thought about her words. Strangely enough, it felt like she was describing Hayden and me. “A different side to him? What did you see?”
She fiddled with her thumbs on her lap. “He has a past. Something obviously troubles him because, if you haven’t already noticed, he’s like a ticking bomb ready to explode. He’s always so angry, and I...” She glanced at him again, biting into her lip. “I saw him crying once.”
I raised my brows. This was just like the day I saw him and Hayden together, when I fell for Hayden.
“Where did you see him?”
“In the school gym. I was walking past it when I heard sobs, and I went in to see what was going on. He was sitting right under the basketball hoop, calling some girl’s name and crying.” She chugged her beer. “That’s when I started noticing him for real, and I grew curious about him. Like, what makes him tick? Why is he a bully? How is he such a good friend to Hayden but treats the rest of us like dirt?”
I took another sip of my beer. I felt lighter and warmer. “And now you like him?”
“And now my heart beats faster when he’s close to me, but it’s not in fear. Not entirely. But now we have detention together, and I don’t even want to think what will happen on Monday.”
Oh Jess... “When you kissed him on the New Year’s Eve, how did you feel?”
Her eyes glazed over as she stared at one spot on the ground, and her lips curled into a tiny smile. “It was breathtaking, Sar. I felt lost in him so easily, and the scariest part was that I wanted more.” She let out a sigh. “I messed up, right?”
“Did he say how he felt that night? Does he like you?”
She shook her head and chuckled bitterly. “No and no. There’s no chance he would ever like me.”
I placed my hand on her shoulder to make her look at me and offered her a smile. “I thought the same about Hayden. I thought it was impossible to have a love that was born out of hatred, but love is resilient. It can surprise you in many ways and empower you even when you’re at your lowest. It can illuminate even the darkest of places.”
Hayden and I had managed to reach a place where we were free from prejudices, hatred, and dark thoughts that allowed pain to spread. We were allowed to heal piece by piece, becoming better people.
So many people weren’t able to change. So many were completely lost in their toxicity, hurting others to bring themselves up, and it only continued the chain of hatred that destroyed everyone.
“I didn’t used to understand how some people weren’t aware of how powerful hatred could be. They lash out, hurt others, and destroy their lives without even realizing that harboring such hatred could be even worse than death. It’s like you’re slowly dying, but you never die, tethered to a world full of darkness and pain. Some people just don’t understand, and they continue to hurt others until maybe one day they see the other side of the coin. They see just how much pain they’ve inflicted. And maybe, just maybe, they regret it and want to change.
“But after seeing Hayden’s struggles, I understand that too often we’re so lost in our pain to consider other people’s pain, and we do what helps us get through another day, what we think is right. It’s horrible, dark, and twisted, because abuse is never justified, but sometimes lines can be so blurred we don’t even realize how awful our actions are until it’s too late.
“So, maybe one day Blake will realize his mistakes and start to change. He may accept you despite all his previous actions. And then it’s up to you whether you want to forgive him or not. I’m sure that if that time comes, you’ll find your own answer.”
She remained speechless, her eyes wide as she stared at me.
“What?” I asked, turning red.
“You’re so amazing, Sar. Your words... They’re just wow. I admire you so much.”
My blush intensified, and I looked sideways. I downed my cup. “Thank you, but it’s nothing, really.”
I looked over at Hayden, and my pulse sped up when he smirked at me and beckoned me with a quick motion of his hand to come to him. I stood up and swayed. Alcohol was definitely working its magic.