As she walked down the main street ahead of him, he watched her movements. Her usually confident stride had shortened into small, tentative steps. Her gaze flickered backwards and forwards as she appraised each person she passed. Since the pavement was packed, this left her with a dizzying number of opponents to measure up. At one point she lost her balance, trying to size up a man who almost escaped her notice. Jonan reached out and steadied her with his hand. She flinched and his heart split a little further. At the fish stall, her nose wrinkled and she quickened her pace as though even the stench was threatening.
There were only two customers in the Third Eye. Jonan ushered them out, murmuring apologies and pushing a bundle of sage at each of them as compensation. The man shot him a filthy look. The woman looked him up and down and then slipped a card into his trouser pocket. His smile was fixed, hard, as he locked the door behind her.
Beth stood by the till watching him deal with the customers. He saw a flicker of annoyance as the woman manhandled him and a little warmth eased the dread in the pit of his stomach.
‘Are you locking me in?’ she asked, her gaze darting around the shop.
‘No, I’m locking them out. I want to be able to concentrate on you without being interrupted by customers, or worried about the shop being looted. I promise you can leave at any time. Look, I’ll leave the key right here.’ He put the key on the counter, tucked under the lip of a dish of tumbled crystals. Beth would be able to find it here, but it wasn’t visible through the windows.
She nodded, her lips curling up at the corners.
Jonan’s heart lurched. In her, he saw so many of the other women she had been. He had loved them all. A very loud part of his soul screamed at the knowledge that she was beyond reach and, even with Amelia so close by, he wasn’t able to protect her. She can protect herself, a voice said in his mind.
Really? he thought back. How’s that going so far, do you think?
She is learning. That is as it should be. The words settled in his mind, the truth of them grating at his heart.
Beth hadn’t believed him. Now Amelia had done her thing. He hadn’t been able to stop it from happening. Would he be able to put an end to it now? Surely Beth would work with him after this? He just had to fix what Amelia had broken, and hope she was willing to risk a repeat performance. Jonan sighed. What were the chances of that?
Doriel followed them up to the flat and closed the door behind them.
Jonan nodded to the sofa and Beth sat down. He saw her gaze dart to his bedroom door and wondered what she was thinking.
‘Can I have a word, Jonan?’ Doriel said. She was smiling, but her voice was sharp.
Jonan stepped into the kitchen.
‘What the hell’s going on?’ Doriel whispered.
‘I have no idea what Amelia did to her yesterday, but she’s got into her head. What we did last night hasn’t fixed it. Beth’s as jumpy as a rabbit and isn’t thinking straight.’
‘I’ve never seen Amelia hit anyone this hard.’ Doriel shook her head as she peered through the kitchen door. ‘She’s always been brutal, but look at the amount of dark energy hovering around Beth. It’s no wonder she can’t think properly. She’s operating in a thick fog of fear.’ Doriel put a hand on Jonan’s arm and he jerked it back, darting a look out into the living room.
Beth was staring into the fire. She didn’t seem to have noticed.
‘Come on, Jonan. You’re the Earth Guide. Have a bit of confidence in yourself. If you get this jumpy Amelia has a real victory on her hands. If Beth’s going to lose the fear, she needs you to model the Light. Now, let’s get Beth out of the cave Amelia has put her in.’
Jonan nodded. He rolled his shoulders and walked back into the room, kneeling in front of Beth, where she sat on the sofa. Her feet were planted on the seat in front of her, knees hugged in to her chest.
Beth turned her head away, looking at him from the corner of her eyes.
Jonan knew what she was doing. He had used the same technique many times when he was learning to see energy. He didn’t blame her for reading him, but her wariness made his heart break. He held his hands out, palms facing up.
‘May I?’ he asked.
Beth nodded.
Jonan took her hands. They were so small and fine boned that they were dwarfed as he held them, trying to warm her frozen, clammy skin. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift into the feeling of togetherness.
The energy was ancient, built over lifetimes. Jonan closed his eyes, feeling his heart opening as he visualised light surrounding them.
Help me to help her. He sent out the thought and felt his heart expand as the room filled with light figures. They drew into a circle with Jonan and Beth at the centre. There were more guides than he had encountered before, and he wondered how many were Beth’s.
‘What’s happening?’ Beth whispered.
‘What do you feel?’
‘I don’t know. Normally everything’s so clear. Right now, I can feel something going on around me. I think there’s someone here, but it’s like I’m trapped in a box and I can’t see through the sides.’
‘That’s a good metaphor. Amelia has put you in that box, and right now I’m calling in our guides to help you out of it, if that’s what you want?’
‘I don’t know. Guides can be misleading. They might be trying to trick me.’
‘My love, true guides have only your best interests at heart. It’s people that are misleading.’
‘I don’t know. How am I supposed to recognise whether or not these are true guides?’
‘You will be able to, but right now you’re in your box and you can’t see. Could you trust me to look after you until you’re ready to know yourself?’
Beth’s jaw clenched. Her hands balled into fists within his own. ‘I don’t know.’
What do I do? Jonan sent out the mental call to the beings circling them.
She must decide. You cannot force her. The answer was clear.
His heart sank. But she’s not in her right mind.
Amelia does not have the power to take away her sense, only to control which emotions lead it. Beth is fighting her own demons, and she must make her own choices. As an Earth Guide, all you can do is show her the path. It must be her decision to walk down it.
Jonan pulled the light around himself, calling for more protection. Fear pulsed from Beth like the beat of a drum and it ate into his equilibrium, pushing at his boundaries with incessant determination. Model the light, he thought to himself. She must choose for herself; you only need to show her the path. But I have to really show her, not just talk a good sales pitch.
Jonan stood up, letting go of Beth’s hands. He closed his eyes again and reached his arms out wide to the sides.
‘Doriel,’ he said, his voice resonant as he lifted into trance. ‘Join me.’
She stepped out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a blue tea towel. She watched them for a moment, and then nodded, threw the tea towel over the back of an armchair and walked over to Beth.
‘I’m just going to stand behind you,’ she said softly. ‘Are you okay with that?’
Beth nodded.
Doriel waited a moment, before mirroring Beth’s nod and lifting her arms wide.
Jonan felt his energy flare as Doriel rose into trance to join him. Doriel was powerful. Her added brightness expanded him further until he had no sense of beginning or ending at all.