“Let’s go home.” I gave him a small smile, his face mirroring mine before he followed behind me as I walked to the car. I took his duffel bag off of him; it weighed a ton, but I wouldn’t let him take it off me even when he protested. My lips curled slightly as I saw a flicker of my old Conor coming through. My heart burst.
I lifted the boot of my mini before slipping his bag in and slamming the boot down before walking round to my side of the car, Conor still standing on the kerb.
“Get in the car,” I said gently, opening my door and sliding in, hoping he would follow. Luckily, he did.
“You okay? You’ve gone a bit vacant,” I asked as I started the engine, slipping the gearstick into first and pulling away after looking over my shoulder as I drove down the road.
“I’m fine. Just all a bit surreal. I feel weird being home, like I don’t deserve to be here,” he said quietly, his fingers locked together, his eyes on his feet in the footwell of the car.
“Of course you deserve to be here.” Sadness now laced my voice.
“I don’t.” He shook his head before his beautiful, broken green eyes flicked up to me. I could feel his intense, sad stare on the side of my face. I pulled my eyes from the road and turned to face him.
“Don’t ever say that,” I said a little more harshly than I would have liked but I couldn’t help it. I know he has been through a hell of a lot, but he should be grateful that he was home and that he was safe.
“Conor, please listen to me,” I said as we pulled up outside my house. “Don’t ever feel like you don’t belong or deserve to be here. You deserve to be here like all of us. You can’t think negatively.” I sighed. “I hardly ever thought negatively when we got told that you and Chase were missing, and we stayed hopeful because we all knew that you were coming home. Even though we didn’t know when, we knew you would come back to us. And you did. Well, one of you did, and Chase will be right behind you when he is ready.” I nodded, then wiped the stray tear that I hadn’t realised had escaped.
“Conor, please, I need you to be strong. I need you to realise you were saved for a reason. I can’t have you self-doubting everything. I know you feel bad, I know you feel like you should be taking Chase’s place. But you’re not. You’re home with us. With me. All our lives are mapped out for us, we have no control over them. So please, just realise how lucky you are to be home and safe.” I smiled at him.
I felt awful for being so harsh but he needed to know that he was sent home for a reason. “Let’s get indoors, I’ll put the kettle on and we can chat,” I muttered as I opened the door of my car, walking round to the boot and grabbing my backpack and his duffel bag. I felt him next to me, close. He took the bag off of me, throwing it over his shoulder before stepping back onto the kerb.
“So, this is you then?” he muttered, his eyes shooting up and looking up the winding stairs to my little bit of heaven.
“Yup, lovely, isn’t it?” I smiled as I started climbing the stairs, him close behind me. I unlocked the front door, dropping my back-pack on the side table as we walked in. I would go through it later, but at the moment I had more pressing matters to deal with, someone more important.
I walked through to the kitchen, my eyebrows knitting when I didn’t see him follow me. I walked back towards the hallway, he was standing just inside the front door, his eyes looking around my home.
“You coming in?” I asked gently, pulling him from his thoughts.
I felt my heart crack as I focussed on him. He looked like a lost child. All I wanted to do was guide him home and make him feel safe, but I just had to trust that he would be back with me soon. I didn’t want to rush him, but I was also terrified that I was going to make him worse, push him away and lose him completely.
I wanted to help him, heal him and love him. It was going to take time, and I was prepared to put the work in.
My mind started ticking about work, I was going to have to call some favours in and see if I can get some cover for a couple of weeks. I feel awful because of exams, but I would still be there on the side-lines cheering them on.
I walked closer to Conor, taking his bag out of his tight grip, putting it at the bottom of the stairs in the hallway before grabbing his hand softly and leading him through to the kitchen, then walking him over to the little snug that overlooked the calm sea, hoping that would help calm his busy mind, even if just for a moment.
“Sit there, I’ll make you a tea,” I said, leaning down and pecking him on his lips. My fingertips ran along his shoulder and across his back as I walked over to the kitchen to make him some tea. Tea always made everything better.
My mind was hectic, racing and going over the same questions again and again. I put the spoon in the sink before taking his drink over to him, his eyes turning up to mine. His beautiful green eyes were tormented, broken and bloodshot. I sat down in the other corner of the snug, putting my feet on the edge of my chair and bringing my knees to my chest, resting my hot cup of tea on top of them, my eyes on him the whole time, his eyes out at the sea.
“How could you ever leave here? It’s so peaceful and tranquil,” he said, still not breaking his gaze from the calm, glistening ocean.
“I have to, I don’t want to, but I have to for work.” I laughed softly. He just sighed before staring back into the never-ending sea.
“What can I do to help you? I feel helpless, I’m rendered useless…” My voice trailed off.
“You can help me by giving me you,” he muttered in a low growl, his eyes drawling up and down my body.
“Me?” I asked dumbfounded.
“Yes, you. I need you. I want you. Please,” his voice was desperate.
“Okay,” I whispered as I stood from the snug, taking his cup before putting it on the breakfast bar behind us then walking over to him, standing between his legs.
“Shower,” he said bluntly, but his eyes were dark and hooded. He needed his release and I was going to give it to him.
“Shower,” I muttered back to him before grabbing his wrist tight and dragging him.
“Come on, Royce, let’s get you washed.” I winked at him as I lead him towards the bathroom upstairs.
I wanted to cleanse his soul. Help him start over.
I will get my king back.
I had to.
DARCEY
I walked him upstairs and stood outside my bedroom, dropping his hand as we got there. I pushed open my bedroom door and stepped in when Conor spun me around, picking me up and carrying me over towards my bed as he pushed his lips onto mine, slipping his tongue between my full, cushioned lips. I took him greedily, stroking his tongue with mine. My hungry mouth wanting so much more.
“Darcey, fuck,” he groaned as he pulled away. “I am going to do my nut in about three seconds from you just kissing me,” he muttered, dropping me down and pushing me on the bed. “I need to make you come, because as soon as I’m inside you, I am going to lose it so quickly. It’s been four years, baby girl, and it’s only you. I need you. But I need to make you come so fucking hard that when we do fuck, you’ll still be riding your orgasm,” he growled as he stood over me, his eyes so dark they intimidated me slightly.
He unbuttoned his army jacket before discarding it on the floor. He was wearing a tight, white tank-top. His tattooed arms rippled under his hard muscles. My mouth instantly dried, my knickers soaking wet. His dog tags were hanging down his chest. He looked so hot.