“You arsehole,” I screamed at him as I leant across the table and snatched the pregnancy test out of his hand. “How dare you.” I shook my head in disgust, the tears in full flow.
“Do you remember the promise you made me three months ago?” I asked him, my voice quivering from the crying.
“Which one?” he asked, his voice timid, he couldn’t even look at me.
“When you promised that we would get through anything, no matter what life threw at us?”
“Yeah...” His voice trailed off.
“Well, you’ve just broken that promise,” I snapped at him, pulling my engagement ring off of my finger and dropping it into the middle of the table. “This was meant to be a good thing, a happy thing, and now you’ve tarnished it. I want you to leave,” I said straight, not even looking at him.
“Darcey, baby… Please,” he begged. He knew he had fucked up, but I was so past it.
“GET OUT!” I yelled at him.
I kept my eyes on the floor as I heard the dining room chair squeak on the marble floor as he pushed away from it and walked past me, straight down the hallway, slamming the front door behind him.
As soon as he was gone, I fell to the floor in a sea of tears.
Broken and alone.
CONOR
I walked out of the house, confused, angry and heart-broken.
I was such a prick.
I had hurt the one person who meant the world to me. I didn’t mean to react that way, I was shocked and confused. She was on the pill, so how was it possible that she had fallen pregnant?
I had a million questions running around in my head and I couldn’t even talk to anyone about it. Well I could have, I could have spoken to Darcey about it, but I turned into a pussy, not say anything.
I pulled my phone out, unlocking it so I could call Darcey and apologise, but I decided against it. I knew she wouldn’t answer. I knew I had to let her calm down, and I had a lot of thinking to do, then a lot of grovelling. Fuck, I had a lot of grovelling to do.
I looked at my phone and called Carter, I didn’t know who else I could call.
After a few rings he answered.
“Cole,” he snapped.
“Hey, boss, it’s me, Conor.” I sighed, stammering slightly. I didn’t know if this was the right thing to do. Fuck, of course it wasn’t. But it was too late now.
“Hey, all okay? Is something wrong?” he asked. I could hear slight concern in his voice.
“I fucked up.” I shook my head.
“Work or personal?”
“Personal. I know this is random, but can you meet me? I need to talk to someone.”
“Of course, me and Freya are at the penthouse, a weekend off from the kids. It’s been a day as I’m sure you know. Come along, I’ll get some beers in the fridge.”
“Thanks, mate, I’ll see you soon,” I mumbled before hanging the phone up and making my way towards the train station.
After a short ride, I was standing outside the building where Carter was. I felt bad gate-crashing his night away with his wife, but not bad enough that I wasn’t going to go through with it.
I walked through the main entrance and walked towards the lift, pressing the Penthouse floor. A few minutes passed, and the doors pinged open as I walked towards the lounge area. Freya was sitting on the sofa with a glass of white, her long auburn hair curled and tucked over her shoulder.
“Hey, Conor.” She smiled at me.
“Hey,” I said with a groan, walking towards her and sitting on the sofa.
“How bad is it?” she asked.
“Oh, it’s bad.” I couldn’t help but let out a little laugh before I knitted my brows together. “I fucked up majorly. I am proper in the dog house.” I sighed.
“Conor,” I heard Carter’s voice boom as he walked towards me with a bottle of beer, handing it to me and giving me a pat on the back before he took his seat next to his wife, kissing her on the cheek before he turned his eyes back to me. “Do you mind if Freya stays?” he asked.
“Of course not, she might be able to help me.” I let out a little laugh again, nervous. I started picking the label off the bottle, running my hand through my hair, messing it up slightly.
“Hit us,” Carter said as he took a sip of his beer.
“Looks like I’m joining the parenting club…” My voice trailed off. Carter’s eyes widened, he looked at Freya, she dropped the glass from her lips.
“Well, congratulations, my man.” Carter laughed as he stood up and patted me on the back again before sitting next to Freya, knitting his brows together. “Sorry, how have you fucked up?” he asked confused.
“I lost it. Like, shit myself, lost it. Started rambling on about how I didn’t want to share her, not even with a child. That I just wanted it to be me and her, for us to enjoy it just being us for a while, you know, get married, honeymoon etcetera. It didn’t help because I was telling her about how your day went Freya, saying I don’t know how you do it and I don’t envy it.” I winced as I said it, looking down at my half-peeled beer bottle, then flicking my hand over to look at my tattoos, trying to focus.
“Conor,” Freya’s voice was smooth as she said my name. I darted my eyes up to her grey ones, they were so grey, I had never noticed it before.
“Parenting isn’t easy,” she started talking, “But it is honestly the best job in the world. Some days are hard, like today for example, but you get through it. Once they’re in bed, you forget all the bad and only think of the good and how much you miss them, and that you just can’t wait for them to wake up, just so you can see their little faces again.” She smiled at me.
“You aren’t wrong for feeling like that. I remember when we fell pregnant the first time.” Her eyes left mine and were now on her husband as he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, planting small, soft kisses along the back.
“I was so scared to tell Carter that I was pregnant, we hadn’t been together that long. We weren’t engaged, but we were so happy that it had happened. It wasn’t the right time, but there never is a right time. Once we got our head round it, we had our twelve week scan and we couldn’t wait to see our little baby on the screen, but...” Her voice trailed off, her bottom lip trembling.
Carter gave his wife such a sad smile as he clung to her hand.
“We lost our baby, there was no heartbeat. And to be given that news was devastating and truly heart-breaking. But, it made us know that we wanted this so bad. It wasn’t easy, we had obstacles, but we finally got our rainbow baby and we were so happy. I wouldn’t change it for the world.” She smiled at me.
“I’m sorry to hear that, guys, but am so happy you have two, beautiful children now.” A small smile graced my face. “I’m just not ready.” I shook my head.
“No one is ever ready.” Carter laughed softly. “I still don’t feel ready.” He shrugged before rolling his eyes at Freya, her laughing at him before leaning into him and nudging him.
“How was it left?” Carter asked me.
“She told me to get out, took her engagement ring off and told me I broke my promise.” My throat was tight, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like someone had put a steel knife into my windpipe.