“That’s not good,” Carter muttered.
“Nope,” I said bluntly.
“Stop moping about,” Freya said abruptly. “You have an amazing woman sitting at home, who is probably beside herself, and you’ve run away at the first hurdle when the going gets tough.” She shook her head.
“You need to man up,” she said as she took a mouthful of her wine.
Carter looked at her shocked, before looking at me and raising his eyebrows as he took a big mouthful of his beer.
“I know, I’m such a dick.” I shook my head, my hair flopping forward.
“Yup,” Freya said, taking another mouthful of her wine.
“What do I do?” My voice came out in a plea. I needed their help, I felt out of my depth here.
“Man the fuck up for one.” She smirked at me, Carter just sitting there, his lips curling into a smile as he was trying not to laugh.
“Right.” I let out a soft chuckle, shaking my head slightly from side to side.
“Apologise, grovel. And when I say grovel, I mean get on your hands and fucking knees and beg for her forgiveness,” she said, twirling her hair round her finger.
“Gotcha.” I nodded.
“Good. Okay, I have a serious question for you,” she said as she placed her wine down on the coffee table.
“Wow, it must be serious for you to put the wine down,” Carter joked which got him an elbow in the ribs as a response, her full lips pressing into a pout.
“Anyway…” She rolled her eyes at her husband, before staring into mine. “Do you want this baby?” she said very deadpan.
“I do. I really do. More than anything. I just freaked out,” I admitted, instantly feeling guilty for the way I acted.
“Then I suggest, you go home and tell her just how much you do.” Freya nodded at me before grabbing the glass of wine and standing up. “I’m going to take a bath, I’ll leave you two to it. Do the right thing, Royce. Don’t be a prick,” she said as she leant down to kiss her husband on the lips before sashaying her hips towards the big, sweeping staircase in the middle of the floor.
Carter’s eyes followed her up the stairs before she disappeared. “Such a lucky bastard,” he murmured before his eyes were back on mine.
“Right, enough of the girl shit. My wife is right, you do need to man the fuck up. It takes two to tango. You took sex education at school, right? You know what happens when you have sex, yeah? Or do I need to give you a quick run through of that as well?” he said in a sarcastic manner before breaking out into a chuckle.
“Obviously.” I rolled my eyes, sitting back against the sofa and letting out a sigh. “What a fuck-up.” I shook my head.
“You’re not a fuck-up. Yeah, you did fuck up mate. You reacted, and in an immature way.” He shrugged. The anger started to rise, but I pushed it the fuck back down. I wasn’t going to tear my boss’ head off.
“But you do need to grow up. Yes, babies are hard work, yes, they’re sleep thieves, but they’re the best thing in the world. And it’s not true, you still have sex.” He smirked. “It just means that you need to work that little bit harder in your relationship as there is another little person to contend with, but honestly, it is the best thing to ever happen to you. I am the happiest I have ever been. It’s because of my beautiful wife and two children. It is a shock to the system, of course it is. When Freya told me the first time, I was shitting myself, but I couldn’t let her see that because she was freaking out too. How do you think Darcey felt?” he asked me, now sitting forward, his elbows on his knees as his fingers rubbed across the stubble on his chin.
“Scared,” I mumbled.
“Scared, nervous, excited, happy…” He trailed off. “And she came to tell you, and you went off at her, losing your shit because a baby doesn’t fit into your plan. But I promise you, they fit into your heart and you wonder why the hell you were ever so worried and scared,” he said, standing up and downing his beer out of the bottle.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a wife to take care of,” he said before winking at me and squeezing me on the shoulder. “There is a spare room down the hall if you wish to stay, but not sure you want to hear your boss having hot sex with his sexy as fuck wife, so maybe head home.”
He laughed as he started walking towards the stairs. “And go and fucking apologise,” he shouted before disappearing.
I stood up, draining the rest of my bottle and making my way out of the penthouse before I heard things that would scar me for the rest of my life.
I walked along the busy Friday night streets of London, guilt crushing down on me. I couldn’t believe I had acted the way I did. I have never, ever seen Darcey that angry with me.
Upset, yes. But that was because I was leaving for the army. My behaviour was appalling, and I was actually disgusted with myself.
I walked past a little shop that was still open, that had some random flowers out the front. I grabbed a sorry bunch of roses that looked like they would die by the time I got them home, and a bar of her favourite Galaxy chocolate. I paid the guy then took my sorry arse home.
I walked through the metal gate, unlocking the front door and kicking my shoes off. I know how upset she gets when she’s cleaned the floor.
I walked through to the kitchen, everything was turned off and cleaned up. Her engagement ring was now sitting on the worktop. I picked it up, putting it in my pocket before I made my way upstairs. I was nervous, so fucking nervous. My heart was jack-hammering in my chest, it felt like it was skipping beats it was going that fast.
I felt like such a heartless bastard. I was a heartless bastard.
After everything she had done and sacrificed for me, and this was how I treated her. My heart split when I saw that she was laying on top of the duvet, scattered tissues round her, her eyes black from the smudged mascara from all the sobbing and her ring-less hand cradling her non-existent bump.
I let out a sigh, walking towards the bed and sitting on the edge.
“Baby girl,” I whispered, giving her a little nudge. It took a moment, but her eyes fluttered open, her face instantly turning into a frown. She sat up, her lips parting, ready for her to speak. I placed my finger over her lips and shook my head.
“My turn.” I nodded at her. I placed the roses on the bed, along with the chocolate. Her face softened slightly. I dropped my finger from her lips, taking her hands in mine before looking deep into her blue pools.
“I am so sorry, baby.” My eyes closed for a moment as I took a deep breath. “I freaked out, my day was overwhelming, and I was looking forward to coming home to see you, then you told me we were having a baby and I reacted. And I am so sorry. I’ve had time to let it sink in. Okay, the timing isn’t great.” I watched as a scowl came across her face again. “Hear me out.” I smiled slightly.
“But, I can’t wait for this adventure, I can’t wait to have a baby with you. It’s a big step, but a step that we are both so ready for.” I leant across and kissed her, her not returning it at first, pulling away.
“You really fucked up, do you know that?” she asked me, her little face still frowning at me.
“I do.” I nodded.
“I needed you, I was scared, and you reacted like that, then left me alone. I was so happy when I found out earlier on, and I couldn’t even be happy with you. You made me so upset, you broke my heart Conor,” she said quietly as she nibbled her lips, but her sad eyes didn’t leave mine.