I had plenty of wrath to share.
Belial, however, would accomplish my goals in such a way I could render long-term satisfaction from the assholes who’d acted against my brother for a measly five thousand dollars. According to Belial’s file, unlike the other two devils, he had a phone number. I grabbed the phone, dialed as the file directed, and listened to it ring.
“You are not Lucifer,” a male voice growled in my ear after the second ring.
“Oh, good. You’re not stupid. Excellent. I’ve chained your lord and master to his desk because he annoyed me. I have a job for you. I’m running the place for a little while, but if you piss me off, you get to deal with the Devil. Cooperate, and I’ll be out of your hair sooner than later. Come to his office, and wear something nice. A good suit, make sure you wear a colored tie. I’ve decided we’re going business wear until further notice, because if I have to deal with this damned joint, at least I’ll surround myself with pretty devils. Make yourself pretty, then come here. I require your advice.” I hung up, propped my feet onto the Devil’s desk, and took the time to pet my brother. “I could get used to this,” I confessed.
The Devil, tied up to my satisfaction on his desk, sighed.
“It’s your fault. You gave me the chains and let me do it. And since you want to count spots, you’re going to stay there and do as you’re told. Once Belial gets here, I’ll see about something to smack you with. But don’t worry. I’ll make it hurt real good for you.”
He seemed like the type, and I needed to work out some of my frustrations.
Belial didn’t leave me waiting long, teleporting into the office with a flash of orange light and the stench of brimstone polluting the air. Much like the Devil, the devil associated with ruin wore a pretty face to cover his nature. Heat wafted from the devil, and as directed, he wore a suit much like the Devil’s, although he’d opted for an orange tie. “How unusual. You truly chained him to his desk, and it seems you’ve made him like it.”
To my amusement, the Devil shrugged.
“I have what he wants, and he doesn’t get what he wants until I’m satisfied. As for the chains, I just promised him I’d ask you about something I can hit him with when he gets annoying. As he can’t get what he wants until I’ve secured revenge for this travesty, well, here I am.” I grabbed hold of my brother and held him up. “This is Jonas, and I’m very offended he has been turned into a chipmunk.”
“He can only be changed from that form by conversion into a demon, a devil, or an angel,” Belial replied. “You do not need to take over the hells to accomplish that. A simple bargain would suffice.”
Ha! That explained why the Devil was the only divine who might be able to help me. “You’re useful. I like that. You’re the bringer of ruin, are you not?”
“I am.”
“I have all the motivation in the world to do the job, but I’m uneducated in the methodology of how to best bring ruin to a mortal mafia outfit. Inconsequential to you, I’m sure, but I want to give them all a miserable invitation to here, after which I will take extensive lessons from the Devil on making certain the fucking assholes have the absolute worst stay here possible. I’m not here for easy. I’m here for satisfying, truth be told. My brother’s debt? About five thousand dollars. An utter waste for so little, really.”
“That is a very small sum to bring so much ruin. You have my attention, little mortal.”
“Darlene. So, what do you think?”
Belial tilted his head to the side, and he regarded me with glowing orange eyes. “You have made many plans and fantasized long about how to assign justice to sinners.”
I could only assume Belial dug around in my head to get the information he wanted.
“Yes. It is a power of most devils. Nothing is secret in this domain.”
“Well, if I cared about that, I’d be worried, but that simplifies things. Good. Were any of those ideas good?”
“They are sufficient, and they could make for excellent ruin of your targets with the correct implementation.”
“Good. I need something I can use to smack the Devil with. If you’d like to help plan some ruin, you can acquire excellent transformative substances that the CDC won’t be able to readily identify, as I do not have a wish to spend the rest of my life in prison. You can bring proposals on how best to end their miserable lives on Earth before they enjoy their stay here. I’m accepting lessons on torture techniques when the idiot I’ve chained up is tired of playing tutor.”
“Did you just call Lucifer an idiot?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Why have you not struck this creature out of existence yet?” Belial asked his master.
The Devil shrugged.
“He likes it, I have what he wants, and I keep refusing to give it to him. Right now, I’m the holder of the Devil’s chain, but it’s going to be business as mostly usual. I do recommend you don’t cross me.”
Belial’s eyes glowed hotter. “Why not?”
“The Devil’s mine, and I’m not afraid to use him.”
“Understood.”
“Oh, and Belial?”
“What is it now?”
“The Devil needs to meet some eligible bachelorettes. He probably takes all his frustrations out on you poor devils because he’s sexually repressed. Spread around to the various succubi he’s looking for a suitable bachelorette to be his queen. Just remind them that he brings a lot of power with him at the annoying price of sexual loyalty. Honestly, he’s probably so repressed she’ll have to put her life on halt for a few weeks while he gets it out of his system, but she’ll survive. I’ll do what I can to make him a little more considerate, but he’s raw material right now.”
“Are you not an eligible bachelorette?” Belial asked, his tone curious.
“Are you kidding? You do not want me permanently taking over this place.”
“May heaven forbid,” the Lord of Ruin muttered.
Seven
Do you even know what the word chastity means?
Belial brought me a riding crop with a black leather handle, a silvery shaft, and a rather wicked flaming leather swatter on the end. I accepted it with a grim smile and eyed the Devil, who remained on his desk, still chained as I left him. “Thank you, Belial.”
I didn’t need to suggest the devil get out of my hair. He teleported away, and he didn’t bother with the brimstone theatrics. I slapped the riding crop against my leg to test it.
It stung nicely, and flames danced across my leg before extinguishing. “Remind me to thank your brothers for this later.”
To make it clear I meant business, I slapped the small of the Devil’s back with the crop, earning a delightful grunt out of him. “Also, remind me to thank Belial for this, too.”
That earned me a baleful glower.
Setting the crop in easy reach, I sat in the Devil’s chair and drummed my fingers on his desk. On a whim, I typed Lorenzo Gallo in the search box. According to the computer, there were thousands of matches, and I scowled. “Does this thing have every damned soul in it?”