The Devil nodded.
I stood, reached over, and pulled the chains out of his mouth. “You have earned some talky time with that. The specific Lorenzo Gallo I want to ruin. How do I find him in this thing?”
“Type his company name in, and you will find the one you’re looking for.”
I patted the Devil’s head. “Good boy. For being so helpful, I will permit you to admire a second spot today.”
The Devil’s gaze locked onto one of the spots right above my cleavage.
“That is a special spot, and you don’t get that one unless you’ve really earned it.”
“I should get to choose the spot,” the Devil complained.
“You should sit there, look pretty for my enjoyment, and be grateful I’m patient and will allow you to admire a second spot today.” I added the fucking asshole’s company name, and sure enough, the field narrowed to one result, and I clicked into the folder to find numerous files on Gallo, from childhood history to his adult operations. I started with his childhood, my brow raising as the file registered him as a reincarnated soul who’d done six hundred years of time in the seventh level of the Devil’s hells. “Is there anything special about the seventh level?”
“There are numerous branches of my hells. That specific branch has nine levels. Eight and nine are devilish and demonic residencies, and they only bring special pets in with permission,” the Devil replied. “Right now, there are six fucking assholes who are staying in those two levels. The seventh level is the current deepest pit for offenders, and they do not get many breaks from their torment. It’s designed for particularly heinous souls who are unlikely to be successfully rehabilitated. Lorenzo Gallo has a history, and truth be told, that soul only leaves when there needs to be a balancing.”
“A balancing?”
“When there is too much good in the world, seeds of darkness must be planted to maintain the balance. The End of Days is when everything has fallen out of balance, and I will wage the final war with my heavenly father. The End of Days is a great deal of work for me, so I actively work to prevent it from happening. He does as well. It’s not precisely something either of us desires, but it will one day happen. The worlds cannot begin anew without it. The End of Days is as important as the Beginning.”
“You mean like the story in Genesis?”
“Precisely. Humans mangled the history of humanity, but that is to be expected. History is always rewritten by the victors to best suit their needs and purposes.”
I frowned, reading over Lorenzo Gallo’s file, which gave me no information on what he’d done to deserve hundreds of years of torment at the Devil’s hand. What I did read, however, lit a fire under my ass. At age twelve, Lorenzo Gallo had already raped three girls. By eighteen, the Devil simply made a star notation, not bothering to count the infractions. He’d murdered plenty of people, too, but he preferred to keep his victims alive, transforming them into other forms. Most disappeared.
Many of his victims remained alive, pets in his menagerie, which he kept in his primary residence in Maine.
“It looks like I’m doing the Earth a favor getting rid of this asshole and his operations.”
“It disgusts me when people do evil acts and it is ultimately an act of good. He is more likely to overlook those evils if they are for the better of everyone. That means I get fewer souls to play with, and that’s simply no good.”
“Does that mean He might actually like me if I eliminate enough of these fucking assholes? Because if the others have files anything like this, I really am doing the entire world a favor.”
“No. I can’t count your spots if you’re keeping my father company.”
“Attention on work, Lucifer. You can count one spot of my choice after work.” I already knew which spot I’d pick, too. The best spot, right on the back of my neck, did an excellent job of inducing the best naps ever, and I would shamelessly use the Devil to secure an excellent nap.
I probably deserved my long-term residency in one of his hells.
“I hope it’s a good spot,” the Devil replied.
“It’s one of my best spots, so behave until it’s time for you to enjoy it.”
“I should resent how easily you’re controlling me, but you have so many spots I haven’t met yet, and I want to possess them all.”
“You need to teach your succubi how easily you can be manipulated through the careful rationing of spots.”
“None of my succubi take the feline approach for some reason. It’s like they fear I’ll keep them permanently or something. Also? Recruiting Belial was ruthless, and I haven’t been so turned on by an act of evil in centuries. Bringing him into this? An act of pure evil, Miss Darlene.”
“I don’t have enough time to look into all of your minions, and adding some ruin to go with my revenge seemed like a good idea. What is he going to do about you being chained to your desk?”
“He will tell everyone, of course.”
“So, all of your various residents now know the place has new management?”
“That is a reasonable assumption.”
“Excellent. Hey, Lucifer?”
“Yes?”
“Is it possible to have a dress that shows off my assets while giving me plenty of places to hide weapons? I’m going to need a weapon if I’m going to take out Lorenzo Gallo at this meeting. I might need a chastity belt that’s magically sealed, too.”
“I can offer you something better than a chastity belt.”
“You can? Do you even know what the word chastity means?”
“Unfortunately. It is a very foul word, and I loathe how much it’s been used today.”
I laughed. “You’ll survive.”
“I’m not sure I will survive if you decide to wear a chastity belt for any period of time. After all, I have to sufficiently reward you for permitting me to count your beautiful spots. I cannot do that should you be wearing a chastity belt. Unless I’m allowed to destroy the belt during your reward. I would enjoy that greatly.”
I needed to talk to the Devil’s brothers about the situation, as I worried managing over so many fucking assholes had warped their fallen brother. “You’re still only getting one more spot today.”
“I feel we should negotiate for a third spot today. I could be useful to you. I will prove my usefulness to you in exchange for access to a third spot.”
One spot, two spots, three spots… what was an extra spot or two if he helped me accomplish my goals without putting up too much of a fight? I had plenty more spots, and exposing three of them to the Devil wouldn’t do any harm. “I will listen to your proposal.”
“I will compile a list of all those who were directly involved with your brother’s current state, a list of their crimes the police have been unable to prove, provide the evidence required for the police to take action, and I will direct Belial to give you a rather potent substance suitable for your revenge. I will do this in the next twenty-four hours, after I have had sufficient time to explore both spots. There are many substances that would work, and he might make some… unfortunate… choices. In exchange, you will allow me to pay attention to a third spot of your choice today. I will need at least an hour per spot, but I will limit my attentions to two hours per spot.”