“We could have lost ourselves in each other, if only I hadn’t let you go.” He brushes my thumb down with his thumb, holding it in place as he swipes his tongue across the inside before releasing it.
“I would gladly lose myself over you, a little more time and I know I would have fallen for you completely. You may not be my knight, Aeron Harkwright, but you are my favorite sin.” I place one last kiss against the corner of his mouth before I get to my feet. “Will you be okay?” It feels awkward asking him that right now, but I don’t want to leave him until I know for sure, even if it is a no. I want to stay with him, but I have a feeling I’m only making things worse.
“I will be. Darius is back, so you should get going. I just need to be on my own for a while, I’ll, er, see you around.” He stares at his hands with a strange little smile on his face. I can’t tell what’s going through his head right now, but I will respect his wishes. Even if all want to do is wrap my arms around him and make him see that he deserves better than all of this. The Academy, his mother, me.
Darius leads me out of the maze and follows me back up to my room. I don’t care what the pass says, the last thing I want to do is return to those boys. What even happened this morning? Emmet went from nice to dark in a nanosecond, and then they seemed to have some kind of pissing match. Fuck it, they can fight all they want, I’m staying out of it.
“What happened between you guys this morning, and why was Emmet’s door hanging off by one hinge?”
“Come in, I need coffee before I relive the fiasco that this morning turned into.” He follows me inside and closes the door behind him, as I change the filter out and make a fresh pot. I think I’ll make it a little stronger today, the more energy the better.
I pour us both a cup as soon as it’s done, and he folds himself into my recliner, while I take a seat on the sofa.
“So, what happened?” Wow, he really isn’t beating around the bush with this one, is he?
“Tucker announced that he will not relinquish his claim on me. Suffice to say, the news did not impress Emmet.” I run my hand through my hair, shaking it out with my fingers.
“Why would that cause Aeron to storm away?” His ears are tipped with pink, and I have a feeling that he may have heard his declaration.
“Emmet made some sarcastic comment about us having our own little harem, Tom and Tucker didn’t exactly say no, and Aeron says he can’t share me because… well, because…” Why is it so hard to say it out loud?
“Because he’s in love with you,” Darius smiles gently, and I nod as I drag my bottom lip between my teeth.
“Yeah, because of that,” I mumble and he laughs.
“It was bound to happen, Luna. It isn’t your fault, but is that something you want? You know, to have your own harem.” Damn, this conversation is growing more awkward by the second.
“I don’t know, but I mean, while I’m in here, what does it matter what it’s called? Once May rolls around, I’ll only have one year left. It would be nice to spend it with the people who are meaning more to me than I could have ever expected.” I drop my eyes to my hands, as I wring them together. “Even if it means that one will always be missing. I wish it didn’t have to be like that though.”
“I’d better get back to my post. I won’t be around later, but I am on duty for the New Year bash.” He gets to his feet and I can’t bring myself to meet his eyes.
If I can’t have them all, then should I be with anyone other than who owns me? I don’t need to be with any guy, but what do you do when you can’t choose? I love Tom, but it doesn’t mean what I feel for the others is just a phase. None of them will be easy to move on from, that’s if I even want to.
24
A Midnight Kiss
Red knee length dress with a black lace overlay, check. Red lipstick, check. Hair put up in effortless curls, check, and black wedge pumps that won’t kill my feet if I do a lot of standing. Well, that one is still undecided, but a girl can only hope.
We’re supposed to be going to a New Year’s ball, which is a little concerning seeing as this is what Tucker has given me to wear. I feel underdressed, and it’s only going to draw more attention to myself.
“You look… good,” he says as I step out of the bathroom, and I can feel a shy smile pull at my lips.
“So do you.” It’s no lie either. With his black slacks and red shirt, he looks downright sinful, and I thought that was only reserved for Aeron.
“Well, let’s get going.” He offers me his arm and I slip my hand inside.
“I feel a little underdressed for a ball,” I say, as I tug at my hemline, and he laughs softly.
“I guess it’s a good thing we’re not going to the ball then.” My mouth drops open, and he uses the tips of his fingers to close it, before capturing me in a toe curling kiss.
“Come on, Cinderella. Your chariot awaits.”
“Cinderella went to a ball,” I say dumbly, and please God, just shoot me now.
“I presume she was also a virgin. It only works if we don’t pick it apart.” He laughs a little louder this time as we walk down the stairs.
“So, in this little role play of yours, are you the Prince?”
“Fuck no, I’d never want to be the prince.” His words make me pause for a moment. “I’ll be the guy she wishes she’d danced with instead.” Although there’s laughter in his voice, it sounds as though I should read between the lines. I’m scared that I’ll read them wrong if I try.
We climb into the black Bentley, and he beckons me with his fingers until I’m leaning into his side. The others aren’t with us, and I’m not sure if I should feel relieved or disappointed. Maybe a healthy mix of the two?
“They’ll be meeting us there. I don’t know who else will turn up, but Tom won’t miss it, and Emmet is too stubborn to let you go without a fight.”
“Has anyone heard from Aeron?” I hesitate to ask, but I can’t stop myself either.
“No, but I extended the invitation. I thought you would want me to.” He rubs at the back of his neck, and I drop a kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you.” I breathe and his eyes zero in on my mouth, but he doesn’t move in for a kiss, so I won’t either.
He pours two glasses of champagne and passes me one. It tickles my throat as I take a mouthful.
“Do you really want Emmet to be involved in any of this? Because you’re just asking for trouble if you do.”
“I know Emmet is intense and an…”
“An asshole,” he supplies for me, and I bite back my grin as I nod my head.
“Yes, that… But I don’t think he’s any worse for my health than the rest of you. It’s the mind games that really get to me. I never know what version I’m going to get and it’s hard…” I rest my fingertips against my mouth, as the rest of my words fail me.
“Emmet isn’t the one I’m worried about. Look, if you asked me to release you so you could be with Tom, I’d hate it and I’d say no, but I’d at least consider it. That wouldn’t happen for Emmet, the moment he claims you, everywhere he goes so will you. Do you understand how many times you would be around Arthur if that happens? So, no. Whatever happens, Tom and I agree Emmet can never put a claim on you. We’re your safest bet.” He loosens his collar and pops a couple of the buttons. He throws back his glass before pouring himself another one.