Goddamn it.
“Did you and Linc fuck when Colt was still alive?”
The question doesn’t faze her. It’s been there for years. I accused them of it long ago. I know what I saw on prom night.
“Yes.”
I don’t feel the anger I thought I would. Maybe because I already knew. “For how long?”
“Prom night was the first and only time while he was alive.”
My throat feels raw, and I hate talking about this shit. I hate thinking about it. I look over at Viv, who is dancing happily with Baz, and I know, in order to fully get to her, I need to put this shit to bed.
“Did he ever know?”
She shakes her head. “No. That night . . .” She has tears in her eyes, and even if she did cheat on my brother, I know she’s remorseful about it. And I can’t hate her, no matter how much I want to. “Asher, I don’t know what happened between me and Colt. I know we loved each other very much. I know I’m guilty of loving Linc too. But he . . .”
She looks desperate to find the right words, and I don’t want her to fear it. “Tell me. I’m a lot older now. I can handle it.”
“I never felt good enough for him. He was always striving to be the best. And no matter how hard I tried to get him to really, truly love me, there was something missing. Always. And prom night . . . we broke up. Or I thought we did. It doesn’t matter.”
“You broke up the night you fucked Linc?” She never felt good enough for him. I don’t think any of us ever did.
“We did. And then he apologized the next day, and everything got so screwed up. I don’t know. It just never felt right.”
“So he cheated on you. But you didn’t cheat on him?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know. Maybe because we were just so wrong for each other, it doesn’t matter. I loved him.”
“I know you did.”
She looks over at Viv and then back at me. “Make sure she knows how much you love her.”
“That, I actually can do.”
She kisses my cheek. “The details of the past don’t really matter. It only matters that we’re here now. That we tell Baz about Colt every chance we get, and we love each other hard until the day we die.”
“I agree.” She lets go of me, but I stop her quickly with my words. “I’m sorry I was so horrible to you.”
She shrugs. “Don’t stop being you. I like you just the way you are.” She says it in her best mocking, kindergarten voice, and I flip her off before I join Baz and Viv, happily dancing with them.
Because if Colt’s watching, I want him to see it. Because all the bullshit and the grief, the fuckups and sadness, it all led us here.
Back to each other.
Asher starts dancing with Baz and me after talking to Penelope, and I have to admit I was holding my breath the entire time. I was afraid he was going to explode, but he seems calm, like a weight has been lifted off him.
We dance to a fast song, throwing our hands up and having fun, but I have to ask, “Good talk?”
He smiles and nods his head. “Yeah. It’s weird. It feels good to know the whole story, I guess, but it doesn’t really change anything.” His smile doesn’t fade as he looks down at Baz. “And it changes everything all at once.”
“I’m glad you talked to her.”
“I know she’s one of your best friends, so I guess I'm going to have to put up with her.”
“That and her being married to your brother.”
He shrugs at that, but I see the joking in his eyes. A slow song starts to play, and Baz declares it’s time to get a drink before he runs off. Asher’s hands grab my waist, holding onto me with ease. Because this asshole loves me, and I know it. He makes damn sure I do every chance he gets.
Because the Sterlings love hard once they finally give in.
“You want to get married some day?”
I lay my head on his shoulder. “Please tell me that’s not your proposal.”
I feel his strong shoulder shake with laughter. “No, but when I do propose, it will probably be similar.”
“I would expect nothing else.” I look up at him. “Yes. I want to get married someday and make more babies with you.”
He doesn’t look scared. I thought he’d be scared.
“Good.” He leans down, his lips dragging over my ear. “Because I definitely want you to carry my babies.”
I can’t deny how happy that makes me feel. Hearing his possessive growl. Hearing the love and desire in his words. It’s something I never had until him. Knowing that the next time I get pregnant, no one will make me feel guilty or ashamed about it because I’m surrounded by only good people now. The cold I felt from my parents isn’t something I have to worry about because they haven’t bothered to communicate with me for a while and I don’t want them to. “You’re already an excellent father.”
He looks down at me now with uncertainty that makes me nervous. “He has a father.”
I know this is hard for him as I brush my lips over his, standing on my toes to reach him. I removed my heels right after the wedding. “You’re really the only father he’s ever known.” I try to hide my nerves, but I know he sees them. “I thought maybe someday you would want to . . .”
Shit. My heart is racing.
He grips my chin in his hand, tilting my face up to look at him. “Viv, I want you to have my last name, and he can definitely have it too. He sure as fuck will always have me, but . . .”
“You don’t want to adopt him?”
He looks tortured, looking up to the sky and taking a deep breath before his gaze lowers back to mine. “I want him to know the truth. I want him to know about his real dad. But yeah, if he wants that, I’d be proud to call him my son.” He laughs, “It’s all pretty fucked-up though.”
I laugh too. “Yeah. That one is going to be hard to explain.”
“I’ll be happy to tell him the truth though. That I've always loved him, and that I fell hard as fuck for his mother,” his lips sweep over mine, “and I never had a chance.”
“I like you like this. All submissive.”
“Yeah, you’ve made me your bitch, for damn sure.”
I laugh at that, all too happy to be in possession of this man, to own his heart fully and for him to have mine.
“I love you, Asher Sterling.”
“I’ll always love you, Vivienne Crenshaw.”
“Soon to be Sterling?”
He just grins and holds me closer. “Very. Soon.”
It feels like a promise and one I can’t wait for.
“I think I would love to be Mrs. Sterling.”
His eyes flash with want, and I feel it too as I bite my bottom lip. He groans, pressing his body to mine with a promise for later.
I never thought, when I got pregnant in high school, I would end up here dancing with the brother of my son’s father. I never thought, when he moved in with me, it would lead to having him with me forever. I never thought, when I left him in Kansas, he would come back to me.
But now I see everything is exactly how it was meant to be.