“Get. Your. Girl.”
I nod my head, understanding and squeeze her back. “Thanks for not getting married at the lake.”
She laughs at that and pulls back, still laughing. “You’re such an asshole.”
I laugh too and hug her again before forcing her to go back to the living room to celebrate.
Because we should be celebrating. It’s not fair that he’s not here with us, but she’s right . . .
I owe him this.
I hate that he won’t talk to me. I miss him. It’s only been a couple of days, but I miss him so badly.
Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. We were doing so well.
After I put Baz to bed and listen to how excited he is to be in another wedding, I have to fight myself to walk past Asher’s room. Not to push open his door and force him to talk to me. Instead I walk to my own room, and gently shove the door open, feeling defeated.
But he’s there.
Oh my God. He’s here. He’s sitting on my bed. He looks . . . sad, but when his eyes lift and meet mine . . . I see it.
Hope.
“Asher?”
“Hey.”
It’s all he offers, but I don’t care. My heart is thundering in my chest, and I want so badly to go to him, but I'm silent.
“I can’t say anything bad about Colt.”
I nod my head slowly but stay put and let him talk.
“He was everything I wanted to be. I never thought I could be good like him.”
I want to scream that he is good. He’s so damn good. But I stay silent.
“I loved him. And I miss him. And it felt like when everyone else was falling in love and moving on, they forgot about him.” He shakes his head from side to side. I'm dying to comfort him, but something tells me he needs to get this out. He needs to say this. So I let him.
“He was human. He was flawed. But he was my brother.”
I smile and walk to him, standing before him. Still not touching him. “He was.”
He looks up at me, so lost and broken but also so damn beautiful. “He’s gone, but I'm not. I owe it to him to live my life and be as happy as I can. I’ll never stop trying to make him proud.”
I sweep my hand over his cheek. “I didn’t know him well, but I know he would be proud. I wish you could see the good in yourself, but it’s okay if you don’t.” I cup his face in my hands. “Because I see it. I’ve always seen it.”
“You love me.”
I nod my head with no hesitation. “I do.”
Please say it.
I try to tell myself that if he still can’t say it, it’s okay. But I know deep down, I crave those words.
“You shouldn’t.”
I sigh and shake my head as I peer into his eyes. “It doesn’t matter because I do.”
He grins now, his hands laying over mine and then holding onto my wrists. “I love you too.”
My heart feels like it might burst as I try to keep from crying. “I know.”
He laughs at that and pulls me to his lap. “So, what now, since you’re so fucking smart?”
I kiss his lips softly, speaking between kisses. “We just be in love. We support each other and just lean into it.”
“Sounds good.”
“And fuck.”
My tongue flicks at the “ck” sound, and he wags his eyebrows at me playfully, biting my neck. “That I know how to do.”
“Oh, I know.” He flings my body under his, and I look up at him before adding with a purr I know drives him crazy, “Mr. Sterling.”
“Fuck, Viv.” His large body hovers above mine as he looks down with me, admiration in his eyes with no guilt. “I fucking love you.”
“I love you too.” I drag my fingers over his sides. “Now fuck me because I’ve missed you.”
He kisses me so intensely and full of love.
And even though I know there are hardships to come and we will most certainly fight and hurt each other.
It will all be okay.
Because we have each other, and it feels so perfectly permanent.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” I smile at my mother, who’s looking over at Lola, dancing with her new husband, Hayden.
They’re married and oh, so fucking happy. And for once, looking around at my family, seeing the smiles on their faces and the happiness there, I’m happy too.
Insanely happy.
Viv and I are in love, and I've stopped being an asshole about it.
I tell her every single chance I get, which is often. We bought a house together. Of course, Linc sold it to us. Down the block from Lola and Hayden and Linc and Penelope.
We’re moving in tomorrow.
Viv thought it might be too fast, considering I just told her I love her a few months ago, but I reminded her I’ve been in love with her for a lot longer than that.
That sealed the deal.
I watch Baz dancing with Viv and smile. I hope this doesn’t fuck him up too much, but I can’t and won’t stop loving his mother.
Although right now, he’s thrilled. Vivienne has explained to him as clearly as she can that we’re together. But to Baz, we always have been.
Who knows, maybe the kid knew it all along.
“Yeah, Mom. She is.”
She looks into my eyes, and it nearly kills me because I can see the emotion there. I know she wants to talk seriously. And it seems it’s her turn. “I never wanted you to be him.”
I sigh and sway to the music, secretly wishing the song would end so I can escape, but knowing I need to be a man. “I know, Mom. You just missed him.”
“I’ll never forgive myself for how I acted after.” Her eyes fill up with tears. “I was so broken.”
“You should forgive yourself. I was a dick.”
“No. You weren’t.” Her voice is firm. “You were the strongest one. You faced it. You thought we all forgot about him, Asher, but we haven’t. We never could.” The song stops, and she stops dancing, brushing my cheek with the back of her hand. “If we had though, you would be there to remind us.”
I nod, so much emotion catching the words that are stuck in my throat.
And she only smiles because she knows. She nods to someone behind me and kisses my cheek before joining her husband. I feel someone approaching, and when she stops in front of me, dressed in a bright yellow sundress, I almost can’t believe it.
“Penelope?”
She just smiles and holds out her hand to me. “Dance with me, Asher.”
I take her hand hesitantly, not denying her but uncertain. We’ve known each other for a long time, but still . . . we haven’t spent a lot of time together.
Not alone.
I’ve spent years hating her, blaming her for Colt’s death but too chicken to actually ask her about it. I feel Viv’s eyes on us, gently nudging me to do just that.
“I don’t think this is the place.”
She laughs as she dances with me. “I think it’s the perfect place. Ask me, Asher.”
“I don’t want to.” It’s a quiet whisper. “Can’t we just move forward.”
She nods her head as we dance at a distance. “Yes. If you actually can. If you have no questions in your heart. Yes. I’m happy to let you hate me forever, but I love you like a little brother. And always have.”