After Ashes had left for Church, I’d taken my time showering until the last drop of hot water had been used, then I dried off and dressed. I explored his home, then checked out the fridge and pantry to get some ideas for breakfast. I hated that he’d had to leave without eating anything. We’d both overslept this morning. Then again, I’d been doing a lot of sleeping the last three months. I’d woken when I heard his phone ring, but when Ashes hadn’t come out of his room, I’d decided to get nosy.
Seeing him in the shower… My cheeks warmed and I clenched my thighs at the memory. His body was a work of art, all sleek muscles and ink. Most of his tattoos couldn’t be seen unless he was shirtless, and I wondered about the meaning behind each one. I’d also worried that someone as fit as him would take one look at my naked body and be disgusted, but the way he’d tried so hard not to look when he’d put me into the shower at my apartment, I’d hoped that maybe he was interested.
Damn my brother for making Ashes stay away all this time! We could have had years together! Maybe I wouldn’t have been with the mistake I’d dated for so long. Chad. Even now I wanted to sneer just thinking of him. If Ashes had shown an interest, I’d have gladly dumped the douchebag asshole sooner. It pissed me off that Renegade was always meddling in my life. I knew he meant well, but I didn’t need a babysitter. I was a grown-ass woman and I could take care of myself. Being with Ashes would have never been a mistake, at least I didn’t think so. Maybe the man he was back then was different from the guy who had been taking care of me. Or maybe not. I’d never know since my big brother had taken that from me.
As the time ticked by and I hadn’t heard from Ashes, I started to worry that Renegade had found out what happened and beat the hell out of him. I wouldn’t put it past him. I knew that I wasn’t supposed to go to the clubhouse without an invitation, but that was before Ashes had claimed me. Things were different now, weren’t they? Scratch had demanded that Ashes make me his, so I had a right to go look for him. At least, that’s what I’d tell anyone who asked. I could play stupid for a few days at any rate.
I slipped on some shoes and then left the house. I followed the meandering road through the compound, taking my time so I wouldn’t overdo it. After sitting on the couch day after day, I didn’t know what my body was capable of handling, especially while I was six months pregnant. I could have taken my SUV, but exercise was good for me. By the time I reached the clubhouse, I saw only a handful of bikes out front. One of them looked similar to what Ashes usually rode, but I couldn’t be certain it was his. I didn’t know the difference between the bikes, but the colors and size seemed right.
Taking a breath to steel my nerves, I went into the clubhouse and came to a halt when I saw Havoc, Magnus, and Phantom were seated around a table. There was a Prospect behind the bar, and I could hear voices farther back down the hall. Magnus lifted his eyebrows when he saw me and Havoc shot a scowl my way.
“What the hell are you doing here, Nikki?” he demanded. “Haven’t you caused enough trouble?”
I stumbled back a step, not expecting the Sergeant-at-Arms to be so harsh with me. The few times we’d talked before, he’d always been nice. I didn’t know how to respond and just stood, frozen in place. Phantom stood and came toward me, his expression unreadable, which made unease prickle down my spine. Were they not told that I was with Ashes now? Or were they pissed about not getting a vote? Would they have voted against us being together?
“Nikki, you shouldn’t be here. You need to go home,” Phantom said.
“I was looking for Ashes. He didn’t come back and I haven’t heard from him. I thought…”
Phantom didn’t say anything at first. I could see the indecision in his eyes.
“Your brother didn’t take it well when Scratch informed us that Ashes was claiming you. Renegade had thought the idea of being stuck with the same woman all the time would make Ashes back off.”
My brother really didn’t want me here. My stomach churned. Even though I hadn’t experienced much morning sickness, the acidic burn at the back of my throat was all the warning I needed. I bolted for the hall and the bathroom I knew was in that direction, not stopping until I’d slammed the door open and fallen to the ground in front of the toilet. Booted steps came running and I heard someone skid to a stop in the doorway as I threw up again and again.
By the time I was finished, I was shaking and felt weak. Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes and I felt snot dripping from my nose. A handful of toilet paper appeared in my line of sight and I cleaned myself up. Standing on shaky legs, I took a shallow breath and then another. I swayed and hands gripped me, keeping me upright.
“Jesus, Havoc. She’s pregnant. Did you have to be such an ass?” Magnus asked.
“I wasn’t trying to upset her, but she needs to know she caused trouble. Renegade was fucking pissed and went after Ashes like he was possessed or some shit,” Havoc said.
I whined and looked up at Magnus. “Ashes…”
“He’s fine,” Magnus assured me. “Cinder sent him out on a run. He’ll be gone most of today.”
Havoc muttered something that sounded like bullshit.
“Did my brother hurt him?” I asked.
“He beat on him a little, but Ashes was standing and able to ride when he left here,” Magnus said. “Might be bruised and tender for a day or two, but he’s fine, Nikki.”
“I’ll take you home in one of the trucks,” Phantom said from somewhere behind Havoc. “You should rest.”
I didn’t want to rest! I wanted Ashes back. Part of me knew I was being irrational. He was part of this club and would be gone on various jobs. It was something I’d have to adjust to if I was going to be with him. Maybe if I had seen him before he left, or heard from him, then my stomach wouldn’t be churning quite so much. I followed Phantom outside and got into one of the club trucks. At the house, he started to get out, but I waved him off. The last thing I wanted was to come across as weak and pathetic, even if I had just thrown up in front of him. “I’ll be fine.”
Phantom nodded. “You have the clubhouse number. Call if you need anything before Ashes gets back. I’m sure he’ll be here by dinner.”
I went into the house and the first stop was the bathroom to brush my teeth. Despite the nausea, I was a little hungry so I made a snack and decided to watch a movie. I needed the distraction so I wouldn’t think about Ashes and my brother going after him. How could Renegade have done that?
My brother was the last person I wanted to see, so I was thankful he didn’t come try and talk to me. I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. He was treating me like a child. It was my life, and I should have a say in who I dated… or… I stared at the wall. Ashes had claimed me. I was his ol’ lady, which meant more than just dating. It hadn’t really sunk in until this moment. The Devil’s Boneyard men didn’t claim a woman and let her go. It was a lifelong commitment. Even a tighter bond than marriage.
The new reality of my life was starting to settle in my mind. I wouldn’t be raising Oliver alone. Ashes would be by my side all the time and not just a few days a week. And… my cheeks burned as I thought about how incredible sex was between us. I wasn’t the most experienced when it came to that sort of thing, but Bane hadn’t been my first either. No one had ever made me feel the way Ashes did. Even though it had been intense and fast, I’d come harder than I ever had before. For that matter, only Bane had ever made me come at all. Well, aside from my own hand or a vibrator.